My husband said I had a gunt and I'm so fucking hurt

[frillyflamingo]

We fell out today over something trivial at my parents and then got in the car to come home. We were bickering about it on the way home and he said he was annoyed and wanted to go home because I was walking round with a gunt swilling wine and I looked like an embarrassment.

I had a baby 15 weeks ago, so I'm not looking my best. This hasn't really done anything to boost my self esteem if I'm honest. I did have a large glass of wine (with ice) but it's Sunday, I wasn't driving, I didn't think it was an issue.

He's not apologetic, he went upstairs when we got home and left me to do bath and bedtime for both children.

I'm so unbelievably hurt that I gave birth 15 weeks ago, I've been steadily loosing at 1-2lbs a week and now I feel ridiculous and so embarrassed that's what my husband thinks of me. He does sometimes say really cutting things like that, never anything this bad. I feel so deflated and shit. I struggled through bedtime and now I'm just sat quietly crying. Who is this cunt I'm married to.

Sorry, pity party for one.

Op what a hideous thing to say, you must be so hurt. It’s NOT ok that he said that.

For context, I have a ‘gunt’ horrible terminology by the way 😡. My partner has never mentioned it, I am also overweight (working on it) and I last gave birth 12 years ago!
It would be a dealbreaker for me op, I’d have a think about your relationship and decide if he’s worth it!

Get stuff together and the kids stuff, show him this thread when you get to your parents.
Please don't stand for this OP, he will only get worse.

Sorry OP. That is really horrible. The fact that he would speak to you like that at all, but when you have just had a baby?! He really has to understand how out of order that is and why, if he can't that is a very bad sign.

Whoever tells you this isn’t a deal breaker doesn’t have enough respect for themselves. It IS a dealbreaker. You deserve some respect. I feel awful for you.

I'd never heard of a gunt before but looked it up. What a horrible thing for him to say! I hope he apologises.

I think I'd be asking him to leave after that comment.

We all say things that can be hurtful but those of us that respect our partners don't stoop to insults and tbh this is one of the worst.

What a dick. That would be game over for me. He doesn’t like you does he?

Yeah, I agree - that is a particularly awful insult which I had never heard of before either. It really is disgusting.

Are you OK, OP?

This is so horrible. I'm so sorry he said this to you.

Reading these replies has made me feel so sad, why don't I have a husband who is on my side.

I can be an arsehole and I can snap and say horrible things so I don't want to paint myself as absolutely the victim but I wasn't actually arguing back at him, he was just ranting at me and I feel like this is a whole new level of low things to say to your wife. He KNOWS how shit I feel about my figure, what with it being summer and none of my normal clothes fitting me again yet. I'm a size 14 at the moment, I thought I was doing ok getting back to "normal" but I just feel so disgusting now.

But honestly I've just had a baby, I've struggled a little with the whole lockdown and newborn thing but I'm usually a head down get on with it.

I don't know what to do. On the face of it, it seems mad to throw away a marriage and our children's family unit for one comment but I can't think anyone who cared for me at all would ever ever say something so hurtful. I mean, he said it to make me feel low.

He's an abusive, controlling wanker.

I hope that you start trying to get free of him and keep us all updated as to how you're getting on. xxx

Put the arsehole on here, OP. Tell him we want a word.

Or that you are going to put a picture of him here for us to critique. How dare he.

You deserve better. You say he is unapologetic? This man has no respect for you. I'm sorry, but these are not the actions of a loving partner.

He said it to hurt you in the way that would get to you the most. Don't let him do that again. You are worth more than that.

In the years I’ve been on here, I’ve said LTB less than three times. I really hope that by this time next year, you’ve taken the necessary steps for him to shortly be your ex husband.

If you doubt yourself, imagine what you’d say to your daughter if her partner ever said that to her, weeks after giving birth.

Does he know how distressed you are about this @frillyflamingo? Such a cruel thing to say to you

I don't know what to do. On the face of it, it seems mad to throw away a marriage and our children's family unit for one comment but I can't think anyone who cared for me at all would ever ever say something so hurtful. I mean, he said it to make me feel low.

The more I read on here, the more it strikes me that many women don't actually have a marriage. What they are holding on to is what they would like to happen or a place they exoected to be in but crucially, they are not actually there. You don't have a marriage to lose but you do have a lot to gain. He can choose to be part of that or not.

Does he have a six pack? No I didn't think so.

Deal breaker for me, I could never be with such a cruel person. I assume he’s got a six pack ?

Gosh he is an awful man! I gave birth six months ago and whilst we are fairly mean (in jest) in this house and I'm fairly overweight DH would never say anything so horrible to me, especially on a subject I would be sensitive about.

He is an awful man - do you want to raise children with him? I have never said this - but really consider LtB

Your life would be immeasurably improved without him

He is vile and not worth a second more if your time. Please don't let him treat you like this - he'll only get worse. Start to break free xxx

He's appalling. It would break my heart if dh ever said that to me. I certainly can't see how id ever be happy to be naked in front of him again. I definitely have a "gunt" if i am honest, but that's between me and my body, nobody else. And I'm a lot bigger than you op. But it doesn't mean I'm not worthy of respect.