Has anyone dealt with a really argumentative partner who doesn’t see themselves that way?
My partner picks at anything until he finds a disagreement or a reason to fall out.
Recently he told me he doesn’t like the way I need to go for a walk when I’m frustrated or upset, especially if it’s fairly late, and would I mind not doing it because he worries.
I said fair enough but I do like a bit of space to clear my head but I won’t go out at night if he’ll worry (it doesn’t happen often btw, maybe twice in the last few months.)
I thought that was the end of the conversation but no.
He then said “if you did still want to go for a walk, would you tell me?” To which I replied “of course, I’m always honest with you and there’d be no reason not to tell you”
He then said:
“Are you calling me a bullshitter?”
I was so surprised at the direction that this took but said “no, of course not”.
He’s now saying that because I said I’m honest, I’ve indirectly said that he’s not.
It’s been over 24 hours now and he’s still really worked up over it even though I’ve told him I dong feel that way and don’t think that and definitely didn’t imply it or didn’t mean to.
Anyway, after lots of shouting and arguing from him, and me staying calm and telling him that I don’t think he’s a bullshitter he’s summed it up saying that the issue is that I don’t understand.
I said “I do” and he replied saying “no you don’t”.
I’ve asked him what I can do to help us move on and he said his lost where he is with everything but he won’t back down because that will mean I’ve won. I don’t see it as winning or losing I just think there’s been a bit of confusion and rather than letting it go he’s clinging to it.
I don’t know why he’s like this. Can anyone help?
[Note from MNHQ - 22/11/2020: please note there is a recent update from the OP].