Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

Women in their late teens and 20s are physically attractive - it’s just how it is. Same with a lot of young guys.

However, there’s so more to attraction and relationships than just youthful looks. So while I get the appeal, I definitely judge grown adults going after people barely out of school. I’m in my mid 30s and people that age seem like kids (not to be rude to anyone of that age! It’s generally just completely different mindsets and life stages).

I dated an older guy at around that age, 20ish, who I wasn’t too serious about. It was fun for what it was, but even then I wondered what was wrong with him that he wouldn’t go after someone his own age. You’re just not on the same page in so many ways.

It indicates a certain immaturity I think?

I agree, OP - at 19 you're mostly a child ( but yes, legally an adult). My kids are that age and are so naive and inexperienced. Wanting to date someone at that point in their life when you're 30 or older is creepy and pretty predatory.

Feels like they either can't relate to actual grown up women, want to re-capture their youth or want someone who they can dominate.

I think most men would rather go with younger women (within reason) given the opportunity. If nothing else, they see it as an ego boost/trophy.

Hi Marie!

Biologically women are in their (reproductive) prime in their late teens/ twenties so there will be an attraction to women who look healthy and youthful.

On a more sinister note, some men persue and take advantage of younger women with less life experience. They can get away with things that women their own age wouldn’t stand for.

I would definitely not have been ready for a relationship with an older man at 19...I was VERY naive and inexperienced. I think it is less of an issue the older people get (I mean, if a 30yo wants to sleep with/date/marry someone 10, 15, 20 years older then I don't see the harm) but a teenager and a person in their late 20s or older is a bit icky to me. I would say that regardless of the sex of the people involved.

I was 16 when I first started dating my 25 year old boyfriend.

10 years later we get married soon!

I looked amazing when I was 19 - but my chat would have been rubbish.
Old men were a constant pest.
They were never remotely tempting - at that age I believed in my future and I was moving towards bigger and better things.
In celeb land a younger more beautiful woman might go for an older influential man (to further her career & raise her profile, it makes perfect sense).
In real life I don't know if any relationships like this, most people I know are in long-term stable relationships and choose accordingly. most people want someone who is their equal and not to be a nursemaid for 20 years when not even retired themselves.

I’m 30 and I teach 19 year olds, there’s no way I’d ever find any of them attractive and I’d be worried if I did tbh. It’s just totally creepy, they’re still incredibly immature and very obviously young.

The thing for me is that 19 year old boys for example although lovely seem very immature to me and look like kids (I'm in my early 40's). It's very unlikely that you are going to be on the same level emotionally or intellectually. So surely you are just going for looks? Which makes it creepy to me.

My ex and his wife had an 8 year age gap.

We had an 11 year age gap. He was 32 and I was 21 when we got together. My parents were horrified but I thought it was glamorous to being going out with an older man who had travelled and knew about wine and dining in nice restaurants. We split up when I grew up and realized he was an immature arse (and emotionally abusive).

There is a 15 year age gap between him and his current fiancée. They have got two kids under two, he’s 45 and she’s 30. Apparently it’s not going well.

He seems to be going for bigger age gaps the older he gets!

Also, if you want creepy, have a look at 89 year old Bernie Ecclestone and his pregnant, very glamorous 44 year old wife!

I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

Outwith MN, nobody cares what you think...

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LakeTitty

You're right. That women is creepy.

Wonder what attracted her to little old Bernie Eccleston

Different strokes for different folks I guess, I do think the idea of a very elderly man fathering a child with a woman half his age as gross but only because I really can't fancy a man older than 2-3 years than me even then he has to look good for his age.

I think the age gap you describe is fine. What I don't like at all though are men who are with partners young enough to be their daughters.

I think dating teenagers and people barely out of their teens when you’re 30+ shows you’re either incredibly shallow, immature or looking for someone naive, young and clueless to manipulate. I’m 30 and I would never date anyone that young because we would have practically nothing in common and their immaturity would drive me nuts, your brain isn’t even fully mature until you’re 25.

I work with people in their early twenties and there’s a very clear difference between them and people in their 30’s, even the ones that believe they’re very mature and have settled down are really not that mature at all, I was not mature at their age either, so it’s no criticism on them, I’m sure I’m too immature for someone who is 40-50 as well.

I was 23 when I met my now husband. He was 32.

I dont find it disgusting at all. Neither does he.

We do however find people like you to be disgusting and judgemental op.

I would have found thirty very old at nineteen. My boyfriend then was twenty two and he seemed very grown up to me.

In my late teens I had a couple of short lived relationships with much older men. They were weirdos to be honest, though I do know some May-December couples that seem to work.

When this topic comes up I always think of this devastating sketch though:

I think it's mainly biological tbh.

Younger women are nearly always better looking than older women. Older men are nearly always more accomplished and financially secure than younger men.

As long as they're both adults and the relationship isn't abusive in any way then I don't see the issue.

I have a few friends who have large age gaps (think 20 yr old with a 40 yr old) and they appear to have loving, fulfilling relationships.

Haven't RTFT but I was 19 when I met my DP who was 28. At 19 I was already done with uni, working in a well paying FT job, had my own house, car etc. Everybody is very different and just because you were a "young" 19 year old doesn't mean everyone is, people mature differently.

Providing that everything is consensual and wanted I don't really see why it makes a difference to you who people find attractive, whether that's younger women or older men or vice versa, don't understand this branding it as "disgusting", if both parties are happy, whether that's one at 18/19 and one at 28/29, if everything's mutual there's no reason for your judgement. It may not float your boat but everyone has different preferences🙄

Well, I'm late 20s and fiance is mid 40s.

Men these days just arent ready to settle down in their 20s, or even 30s. They still see themselves as 'lads' that want to play the field. Fair enough.

However women dont have the luxury of time, and are often looking for a man that is established.

Therefore a younger woman/older man age gap makes more practical sense than the other way round.

I dated a lot of men my own age before my fiance. I just wasnt attracted to them. I found them immature and selfish. Turning up late to dates, taking days to reply to texts, just wanting to drink every time we met up. They seemed to think just being there was enough.

My fiance was a totally different experience. Took me on lovely dates, always picked me up (such a small thing but my previous boyfriends always let me make my own way there), made a real effort to get to know me and make me laugh. It was refreshing dating somebody who didnt 'play it cool' and just put their cards on the table.

So I can see how it looks on the outside, but emotionally I just think women are 10 years ahead of men, and these relationships really can work.