Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

It's really not that deep.
Younger women tend to look better and men generally aren't looking for the same thing from a relationships that women are, or at least the emphasis is different.
We're talking about adults after all.

I think it is a power thing, a much younger woman is easier to manipulate, impress her with his money etc and get her under the thumb, there a thread on here just now about a couple married at 18/31 and the imbalance.

It would be tricky socially in that situation. How will they socialise ?! He will have to hang out with 18 year olds and as for his peer group I wouldn’t have much in common with an 18 year old wound be like hanging out with one of the kids friends!

Yes it's vile.

Agree, it is not a good look op, we call it peter-pan complex.

I like older men. Normally about 10 years older then me...

All the women saying that they like older men - this might be great when you’re 20, 30 or even 40. Maybe not so great when you are 50 and the man you e been married to dumps you for a 35 yr old. Especially when you get back out into the dating world and realise that it’s mostly only senior citizens who are interested in anything serious and men your age are predominately chasing women at least ten to 20 yrs younger .
For those women who are not interested in chasing younger men this can really sting .
The whole gender age o balm e where women are considered so much less attractive than men if they are not younger really penalises older women . It’s a sexist and mysogynistic social consortium t not a biological imperative that’s been used for Millenia to reduce women to their youth and fertility and tell older women that they are worthLESS . Men’s sperm quality greatly reduces after 40 , their attractiveness fades equally to women yet they have always held the majority of the power and wealth and be valued based on that . This a mans ‘attractiveness ‘ has lasted his whole adult life , even increasing as he gets older . Meanwhile a woman’s value and attractiveness has been placed on her fertility and maximum attractiveness to men , giving her a window much shorter until she’s consider less
It might be fine to say I like older men but maybe we need to consider the huge power I’m imbalances

I think it depends.
When i was in my very early 20's...i had several skirmishes with guys that were 10 years older than me.
Loved it!!

I never had any intention or interest in being involved with them but flings were just great fun.

But definitely as I grew older and saw guys in their 40s and 50's getting involved with women they had 20 years on....i would have thought Ick.

Oh I should also say my dad is dating someone 5yrs younger than me and I will never not find that super gross. 🤢

Notverybright Fri 29-May-20 08:58:14
Where do you draw the line? I was 22 when I met dp and he was 29. I always thought that was perfectly fine and normal.
...
It was fine and normal, if just a little unusual. At 22 you were a grown woman and he was a young man. It's not age differences so much as the age of the younger person when they get together; if both are adults it's generally OK. In my early twenties I'd have thought nothing of going out with someone seven or eight years older than me but had I been eighteen, it would have been a different matter. As it happened I married someone six months older.

As a teenager I fancied older guys and they fancied me, some were a lot older. It certainly wasn't healthy.

At 19 I was married with a child. I wouldn’t think it was very young, merely that some 19 year olds are very immature. If someone isn’t capable of behaving like an adult at 19 there’s something wrong with them. But of course very very many are still immature at that age and men who fetishise youth (as opposed to having a much younger girlfriend every now and then) are creepy and weird.

Not a big poster, but saw this on the way to the education threads and couldn’t stop myself. As a guy, I’m slightly appalled at the number of ‘men just like young women’ posts. Not true for me, not true for a lot of us. For me and many others, if a much younger woman comes on to you, the gut reaction tends to be pick on someone your own age, dear. Not generally big on the poor-us-we’re-so-misunderstood-and-mistreated version of modern maleness, but there it is, just for balance.

As to the ‘we like much younger women cos they’re fertile’ thing, explanations from biological determinism are weak, and I doubt this one is borne out in our animal cousins: high status males often favour high status (and consequently older) females. If fertility is a strong consideration, you’re better off with someone who has proved that she can have children already.

Of course if you meet early and stay together you get to do it consecutively with all kinds of different bodies, for variety. Teenager, young professional, pregnant, mother, mature woman...every category gets covered eventually :)

I have a work colleague whos 19, her bf is 28. Its so weird. Shes lovely but so so young. Im only 25 and she seems so much younger than me! Like fuck would I want to date someone that age

In my experience theres usually a power imbalance. It tends to be men who like to educate and look after their gfs. They want someone to control and look up to them.

I have fancied a few older men, but actually wouldnt want to have a relationship with them because to be perfectly honest they are quite boring in reality. We dont enjoy the same things at the minute. And if they fancy me back I find it creepy, Its more just I like to admire them from afar

At 19/20 I was like an excitable puppy dog who could look after themselves. I would be annoyed by 19 yr old me god forbid someone whos much older than me.

@CovidicusRex why though?

At 19 you are only just an adult, suddenly the whole world opens up to you. You want to enjoy that. Youve got your whole life to be 'mature'. Theres nothing wrong with being immature at 19, its exactly the right time to spend having fun with your friends, being silly. I was a bit of a twat in my late teens but I loved it.

@Yellowhats I already spent time messing around in my early teenager years and didn’t see the point in wasting time. If I hadn’t bet my husband I would have started a business/found suitably worthwhile work along side my studies instead of doing the baby stage then. A good half of people I knew who were my age were doing similarly well in terms of living productive,responsible, self sufficient lives at that age. The other half were acting like children and essentially wasting opportunities. It takes either immense stupidity or simply ingratitude to waste those years when you could be using them to build something.

I started going out with DP when I was 21 and he was 31. He didn't only go for younger women, he dated different ages, one 10 years older than him.

We have a healthy balanced relationship. He isnt controlling in the slightest and when we met he had a good job and owned a property so I disagree they are weirdos!

They’re emotionally immature misogynists.

But you can start building your life and still be immature.

I dont think it is 'immense stupidity'. Its just a different choice to you. The people you look down on so much are probably glad they enjoyed themselves at that age. Personally im really fucking glad i wasnt married with a baby, but I understand that you felt differently to me. It doesnt make me think you are 'immensely stupid' because you did something I didnt want to.

There's big age gaps in everyone in my family and they all seem happy so I get it can work... but I think it's definitely 'off' when a man only pursues women half his age.

Just looking in the MN rule book...

Ah... here it is...

Rule 57: Woman likes younger man:
Acceptable responses.
Go for it!!!
Just enjoy it!!!
Have fun!!!

Rule 58: Man likes younger woman:
Acceptable responses:
Grim!!!
Yuck...just yuck!!!
Perv!!!

Oh yawn are we on the "double standards" nonsense again, coupled with a bit of labouring under the impression I'm being edgy?

Shame, it had been a fairly sensible discussion up to that point.

My dh worst nightmare would be going back to the baby and toddler years. A few of his acquaintances a little older than him dumped wives and teen children for 30 somethings and are busily bemoaning that they now want their own kids and they have to go back to sleepless nights and nappies. We shouldn’t have laughed but we did I’m afraid 😁

Of course there are always exceptions, but sure, young women may be very pleasant to look at, but a relationship? Even just a sexual one? Nah.

As I said, exceptions exist, most are probably right here on mumsnet even, but a late teens, early twenties woman likely won't know her own body well enough or have developed the self confidence to actually be good at sex.

I'm in my 40s and much prefer younger men. Less baggage, great sex, don't want anything serious. No rule book that says I have to only speak to men my own age.

I'm 53. And ditto.

Then number of men on dating sites aged 70+ looking and insisting woman must be less than 50, attractive, slim etc ............it's full of them. I once spoke to a man I know who said he would only date, "slim, educated, attractive, with own house, women" because he wanted 'something out of it but didn't want to be used and my money is all going to my children via will' and I was like -and what exactly are they getting, an overweight, unattractive, 20+ man who they are not going to be building a future with-hardly a good deal is it? The arrogance of him.