Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

I've consistently said my views apply to both men and women. That's not to overlook the huge gender disparity in age gap relationships. It is overwhemingly an older male/younger female dynamic. However the opposite does also happen on occasion and is equally creepy where one partner is teens=twenties in particular

As regards the internet though, things are not always as they seem. There are huge numbers of men posing as women online on sex sites/similar. I would not assume the comments by women were from women, not at all! I use sex sites quite a bit for casual hook ups with men and women. I can't tell you how many, maybe 9/10 'women' are men. The men have the same problem. Huge numbers of 'women' liking their photos and making lewd comments. It's not usually a female behaviour so it is unsurprising that most turn out to be men

@NoHardSell

I've consistently said my views apply to both men and women. That's not to overlook the huge gender disparity in age gap relationships. It is overwhemingly an older male/younger female dynamic. However the opposite does also happen on occasion and is equally creepy where one partner is teens=twenties in particular

As regards the internet though, things are not always as they seem. There are huge numbers of men posing as women online on sex sites/similar. I would not assume the comments by women were from women, not at all! I use sex sites quite a bit for casual hook ups with men and women. I can't tell you how many, maybe 9/10 'women' are men. The men have the same problem. Huge numbers of 'women' liking their photos and making lewd comments. It's not usually a female behaviour so it is unsurprising that most turn out to be men

Well I'm not talking about sex sites. I'm talking about people posting videos of themselves. It's quite obvious that the people in the videos are women and so I'm quite confident in my belief that they are women saying these things and not men posing as women, you know, as they are posting a video of themselves saying these things.

I thibk its slightly different for me. I jave know quite a few women who, exclusibly date younger men. And my view is the same as it is when the man is older as theres a lot of the same behaviours displayed. So tiktok doesn't shock me.

I have a real issue with male strippers. I have a very physical reaction.

I really don't like ladies nights etc. I also don't like the behaviour of plenty of the women at these events. My friend organised one for charity. I donated but refused to attend. I am not shocked by some of the women on tiktok, but I dont like it.

Theres lots very funny and very good about tiktok. But its social media, so there's some not so great behaviour and some awful behaviour. From both sees and all ages.

I think its a fairly well know fact that women are more likely to be subjected to sexual abuse or harrasment. Its quite well documented.

@NoHardSell so you find age gap relationships to be sexist and encouraging men to treat women as sexual encounters, yet being on hook up sites isnt a problem for you? That isnt a criticism or judgement I just cant reconcile the logic?

I absolutely disapprove of hook up sites for that very reason, I think they encourage men to see women as mere conquests that can be procured just by clicking a few buttons.

But 🤷‍♀️ whatever, none of my business really. I just wouldn't sign up to one myself

Why is it disgusting? I had just turned 21 when I met my now husband. He was 29. We have always had a brilliant relationship and never considered the 9 year age gap an issue at all.

You could try them (sex sites), they're fun. Very very good for conversations around consent, boundaries, wants and desires. So much better than dating apps, where those conversations are all bogged down in dull notions of what can't be openly discussed

I don't really know what to say to you about your attitudes towards sex. Each to their own. Your views feel, ironically, rather old fashioned to me. Tied up in notions of the importance of how men see women. It's very liberating to not give a toss what men think. I recommend it in all different scenarios. If in doubt, never think 'what would a man think of this?'

Well if you dont care how men see us, why does it bother you when older men find younger women attractive?

If a man wrote 'if in doubt, never ask yourself what a woman thinks' everyone would call him a chauvinist pig.

Your double standards are really quite breathtaking.

@NoHardSell

You could try them (sex sites), they're fun. Very very good for conversations around consent, boundaries, wants and desires. So much better than dating apps, where those conversations are all bogged down in dull notions of what can't be openly discussed

I don't really know what to say to you about your attitudes towards sex. Each to their own. Your views feel, ironically, rather old fashioned to me. Tied up in notions of the importance of how men see women. It's very liberating to not give a toss what men think. I recommend it in all different scenarios. If in doubt, never think 'what would a man think of this?'

Aren't these sites renowned for people looking for affairs?

Why do you have a problem with age differences in relationships but not people having casual sex or affairs?

They're all different things. Start a thread if you want and I'll comment on it if it pops up while I'm on. It's interesting in itself that you connect those issues while I connect age difference with power imbalance and control, not sex at all. That's at the heart of our difference of opinion. I don't think it has anything to do with sex really.

But your entire point was men regarding women as sexual objects and not viewing them in light of their intellectual and individual worth?

Meanwhile, think about all the times the men you know have fretted over what a random imaginary woman might think of their actions. 'What would people = women say?' You might find it's a short list.

So two wrongs make a right? You criticise them for not considering womens feelings, then go ahead and disregard theirs?

Yeah, that will improve our situation

What would that have to do with an age difference? Baffled. Some men see women as sexual objects, true. It's hardly my role to stop them thinking that by not being sexual. Your thinking around youth and sexual attraction is really not the same as mine at all. I don't connect the two. The age gap when one person is young is about power dynamics and inadequacy.

So... men should stop seeing women as sexual objects, but it is fine for you to see men in this way?

I cant imagine you take the time to value their intellect or character as you suggested in a previous post.

I don't really care what 'men' think. Or anyone for that matter.
It's very freeing. I recommend it.

If you dont care what men think why do you care who they view as attractive?

The age gap when one person is young is about power dynamics and inadequacy.

Yes, in some cases it is. But not in all cases.

There's a power imbalance in some relationships where both are the same age.

The two age difference relationships that I know of the women are the older partner by a considerable amount - 15+ years. Do you think that's down to.power imbalance too?

I think it's ridiculous to view all relationships where there's an age gap, even less than ten years, is a bit ridiculous.

How about same age relationships where one partner is much wealthier than the other?

Do you want parity of every aspect within relationships, so same age, monetary worth, looks, job prospects, after all an imbalance in any of these could lead to a power imbalance.

I've had 3 relationships in my life. 9.5 year age gap, 17 year age gap and 5.5 year age gap. Married two out of the three and none were creepy or weird.

An older man actively seeking a young woman, fair enough. A young girl actively seeking an older man, I'd have questions maybe but ultimately there are many relationships where the people see no age as such and fall in love with that person. Live and let live. Unless the relationship is illegal or abusive it is two consenting adults. Why do you actually care?

Same reason you buy the food from the back of the shelf with the longest use by date....

Do you want parity of every aspect within relationships, so same age, monetary worth, looks, job prospects, after all an imbalance in any of these could lead to a power imbalance

I think they do, but it would be hideous for social mobility - very much 'keeping everyone in their place'.

Glad someone else joined back in. I'm going to take a break as life's too short to spend an evening on one thread.

Age gap - hearhooves - depends on the ages. A 20 year old man with a 35 year old woman is just as creepy as vice versa. Just as much a power imbalance. Why wouldn't it be? 45 and 60, nothing much different by that age really is there? 16 and 26? Creepy as fuck, either way round. There are some real saddoes out there.

I think a lot of the saddos hang out on sordid websites, just my opinion. Anyway ✌ I will leave it there.

I honestly couldn't care less as long as it's legal. It's not my place to care about others relationships

And there are a lot of men claiming thag their attraction to females is based on fertility and can’t be helped because it’s a biological response
Id just because very cautious of any man who claims his attraction to females is biologically driven and based on their fertility - considering fertility starts at around age 10 or sometimes even earlier . And I’d be wondering how he assesses the ages of these fertile ‘women ‘ he’s attracted to considering it’s not always easy to tell the age of a teenager . Put it this way . I’d be careful about having my teenage daughters around a man who claims he is biologically driven to find youth attractive .
Does this mean he’s got attraction to underage females but simply doesn’t act on it because of social restraints
And I will leave my input there