Creepy things that males have said to you in any context.

[NoMoreDickheads]

One I saw a couple of times a while back- he seemed a nice guy so IDK why he came out with this.

Me:- I don't like X (sexual act) it just makes me feel ticklish.

Him:- I'm going to make you laugh and laugh.

!!!
Luckily he didn't go on to try the thing. Brr!

First date with a police officer (I didn't know his job before we met). All of this was unprompted and within 15 minutes of saying "hello";. Yes, I do have handcuffs, but don't worry, I leave the anal sex to the second date.

There wasn't a second date.

I think one of the reasons I find it helpful/end up thinking on unpleasant things that men/'exes' have said and done is when I think on them I think 'this was not ok,' 'that was not ok.' I don't necessarily have a 100% negative emotion alongside the process of recognizing or affirming it, it feels like I am learning or practicing something.

I think that this awareness and emotion may help me in the future to be assertive.

It is a feeling of shock and anger at the cheek of men and their antics and disrespect. It's even almost humorous how they act, how disrespectful and how obsessed with sex, and their attempts at getting it or thinking they can get away with disparaging comments. It's mockworthy. Don't get me wrong, it's bad too. I think this is why in one of my threads people thought it was fake as I seemed amused by people's replies. I am amused (and angry of course) at how sleazeballs behave, they're ridiculous.

@NoMoreDickheads god that's horrible. Definitely worse in your own house. Don't think I'd have been able to say much either. Glad you managed to avoid seeing him again!

Said to me when I was 17 by a mid-forties woman "I dream of you raping me again and again". That was our last conversation. (I'd been raped as a child).

@Meadows20 I think they've got worse TBH. A few men may be 'right on' but not many.

I'm not anti-porn entirely maybe, but I think some of it is the effect of porn- all feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong. I think they watch this stuff and then it kind of overlays real life and some of them are constantly looking as interactions with women as opportunities to try and get laid (not that there weren't always those types around of course.)

Maybe it's just me and I'm more aware of it with age.

Porn maybe Clumsy attempt at flirting or ‘joking’. Male privilege and possibly they genuinely don’t realise how it makes a woman /girl feel

In my early 20’s I hooked up with a guy while travelling, in bed fooling around and he whispered in my ear ‘I’m going to fuck your brains out’ he probably meant to be sexy but it just sounded so gross, I noped out of there- poor guy 😂

Stood at a bus stop at 5.30 in the morning on my way to work. A man comes over, sits next to me and starts telling me about his puppy. He goes on to say that the puppy peed on his carpet and he had to give it a few hefty kicks. He then moved on to talk about having to give his ex a few slaps too but she apparently wound him up on purpose to get that reaction. By this point I was pretty desperate for the bus to come and get away from him, he had already said he didn't need the bus, was just keeping me company. See the bus come around the corner in the distance and he then asks me if being slapped about gets me wet. Was scared to go to work for months incase I saw him again, luckily never did.

"do you come with the room?" - a 60+ man to an 18 year old me working in a b and b,in front of his wife too

"Mmmm, you've got your mother's eyes"
Said to me, when I was 11/12 years old, at the Wake for my Grandfather, by a middle aged bloke I'd never met before. He was staring intently at me and even at that age I knew he was seriously creepy and it made me very uncomfortable. My mother was there and seemed really happy about it. I subsequently discovered he was, a 'friend' of the family and also the man she wanted to marry when she was 17 (he was much older) and her Father wouldn't let her (my Grandad was clearly a sensible bloke). So he turns up at my Grandad's funeral wake and he's the creep my mother chucked my Father out for, four years later. She chucked me out at the same time. I'm glad.

Judas- so sorry to hear that you had those experiences. How are you in yourself nowadays?

16 and at a family event of my mums partners, his bil (married to his sister) looking me up and down says to my mums partner (in my earshot) "don't tell me you've not thought about it" he replies in disgust "wtf, of course I haven't" to which his bil replies "what it's not like you're related to her".
He had a daughter around the same age, who often had her friends round and it still gives me the ick to this day.

A man I worked with: 'I dreamed about you last night. You were wearing a translucent nightie that left nothing to the imagination. You were very obedient.'

Vomit.

When I was about 16 I worked as a Saturday girl in Currys. One of the men who was probably about 40 used to write the number one on a piece of paper and hand it to me every week and then say "I look forward to giving you one every Saturday".

I was a student and this was about 12 years ago....walking home, dark evening, bump into a bloke who had come onto me before but I'd declined....he is with his friends and they all start cat-calling/whistling so I walk away. They FOLLOW and start saying things like "we won't take no for an answer!" I was genuinely scared and ran to a friend's house as I knew none of my flatmates were home. They were probably just joking but it didn't feel funny at that time of night on my own.

Another one that I remember- I was in my first teaching job, on a school trip. About 5 kids started being sick (travel sickness) and the coach had to pull over so they could get off. I was dashing about trying to clean up their seats and stop all the other children from getting off the coach while my colleague supervised the vomiters outside. The coach driver got up (I thought to help) and instead pressed himself fully against my back and murmured "you're too sexy to be a teacher!" I didn't know what to do so I basically ignored him. Then every time I walked past him he tried to grab my arm/hand/touch my back. When we finally got back to school quite late that evening he tried to call me back onto the coach once all the pupils had left but I pretended not to hear him and luckily was getting a lift home with my (male) colleague.

Urgh these are gross.

I was in a pub when I was about 22 with my bf at the time. We were sat keeping to ourselves in a quiet corner. Some man in his 60s came up to me and said "you're beautiful, I'd like to kiss you". This annoyed my bf and shocked me. He then got right up on my face and said "let me kiss you". I saw my boy's fist clench. He then grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips in front of my bf, the bar man, and everyone. Luckily the bar man was a friend of me and my bf, so he kicked the guy out and barred him. It was so creepy, it was unreal.

You shouldn't wear jeans to work, i had a sniff of where you sat and couldn't smell anything DEFFO NOT ENVY

Also when I was about 15/16. I was walking down the street towards town on a main road. Some guy slows his car and stops. Winds his window down and tells me to jump in. I said no. He leans across to the passenger side and opens his car door, tells me again to get in. I'm proud of myself for this, I told him to fuck off and gave him a ton of shit. Luckily the traffic started flowing down the road and he had to move on. Dick!

Also had typical ones where when walking past builders or walking along the street, men in Vans or cars who were old enough to be my dad have shouted "get your tits out" or similar.

I think this is common place.

NoMoreDickheads
Well, seriously, with my Mother, that particular experience was the least of my concerns tbh. It was an abusive childhood and I couldn't have relied on her to protect me even if I'd needed it. I'm nearly 50 now and have been NC with her since the day I left at 16. I couldn't say I've been unaffected by it all but, I can say my life, my children, and my lovely DH, have ameliorated all those early years.

I’ve met so many creeps in my life.
The worst ones I can remember are

‘What? Don’t act like you’re all sweet and innocent. I bet you’ve given a few blow jobs in your time’ when I was 16 and innocent. Saturday job and Kept being harassed by this creep.

‘Here. Eat the rest of this chocolate. Just eat it!!!’ Mini cab driver trying to force me to eat a half bitten twix.

‘Here’s my number. You’d better call me. If you don’t, you don’t wanna see me around here again’ said by a stranger right in my face in a threatening way when I was 19. I was terrified to leave my house for two weeks by myself.

Logged into a teams meeting with my all male team from my bedroom as DH was in study and the kids were working at the kitchen table.

My boss:

‘Ooh are we in bed with desperately’

Man in his 50/60s and I was about 17/18, we both worked in a factory.

Him: did your mum live in Cornwall in the 60s?

Me: no

Him: Oh right, I thought she must have because I made beautiful love to a woman who looked just like you in the 60s.

Me: can’t actually remember how I responded.

Next day at work.
Man: I’ve brought in a map. Now, point to exactly where you live.

It was one of those fold out really detailed, every building and lane type of ordnance survey maps. Luckily I lived just off the edge of the map. I wasn’t confident enough to tell him to fuck off at that age.

These are so disgusting

Mine isn’t half as vile and I’ve had much worse since but this one sticks in my mind as I still remember being really creeped out and scared in case he somehow knew where I lived, now I just think WTF? When I was 13 I was home alone and answered the phone, it was a wrong number so I said do and the man replied in a pervy voice “Ooh maybe I should get the wrong number again sometime?”. I couldn’t wait for my mum to get home.

Judas- That's awful about your 'mum.' Glad you've had some good stuff along the way. xxx