Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found BF back on dating site need to be sneaky!

198 replies

Whatalife14 · 25/05/2020 20:51

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. Everything was great or so I thought. I had a gut feeling just to check he wasn’t on the site we met. Well there he was username changed but definitely him. I’m heartbroken devastated. We had a talk about the site and how we haven’t been on since we met just this past week. So to have him lie to my face makes me so mad and disappointed. He has just met my children after a year of dating because I was certain this was it. I want to just call him but I don’t want him to twist it and know I was on there. I have trusted him this whole time, I’m not sure what made me look. Has anyone any ideas about how I can call him out sneakily. I think I’m prolonging the fact I need to end this just hurts to know I’ve been used and we were a lie.

OP posts:
hopingtobedally · 28/05/2020 22:12

Hi I have found a friends partner on a dating site but we are mutual friends I want to tell her but want it to be so my IP address can't be traced- any ideas?

Buggedandconfused · 28/05/2020 22:19

Kik is a app that people mainly use for hooking up. It’s used by people a lot on sex sites and hook up sites.

FlyingTinOfBeans · 28/05/2020 22:20

@hopingtobedally why do you think your IP address will be traced?

Buggedandconfused · 28/05/2020 22:21

It allows the user to stay completely anonymous. No phone number or email. You can search for groups on there, typically to hook up. My cheating ex used it.

MimiArm · 28/05/2020 22:22

I agree with @FlyingTinOfBeans.dont waste your energy on "pay back". Stay classy, accept him for what he is, cut all ties and move on.

I'm sorry for what has happened to you and hope you meet someone worth your attention :-)

hopingtobedally · 28/05/2020 22:22

The guy who's cheating is an IT geek so I don't want to risk him tracing it back to me

lyralalala · 28/05/2020 22:25

He Just asked for my kik username. I didn’t even know what that was. I downloaded it and he’s been on there 1054 days. He never even mentioned this app to me.

Kik is used a lot by people on dating sites because you don't have to give out your phone number

There used to be a video call feature on it - like Facetime, but again without using numbers or facebook - but that has been removed because it's been bought over.

I only know this as my poor best mate thought it was a spelling mistake for "kick" on a dating app and had a moan one night about a weird kink two guys in a row had, thinking they were asking if she wanted to physically kick them Grin

BilboBercow · 28/05/2020 22:36

OP you need to let it go now. This won't do you any good. He's a scumbag and you found him out thankfully before you moved in together.

BumbleBeee69 · 28/05/2020 23:03

Kik is a app that people mainly use for hooking up. It’s used by people a lot on sex sites and hook up sites.

It allows the user to stay completely anonymous. No phone number or email. You can search for groups on there, typically to hook up. My cheating ex used it.

oh wow thank you...

Leicester5 · 28/05/2020 23:05

Agree with pp, it's just as well you found out now, but relegate him to the past

Flittingabout · 29/05/2020 00:07

Kik is how my friends ex met his multiple random women. You never even have to know their name as you just have a kik username so you can meet up for sex and walk away with no contact details exchanged!

SimpleKindofLife · 29/05/2020 09:23

“It’s so hard to find genuine people on this site. "

Clearly he's been active on this site for a while then! Time to fess up OP for your own peace of mind. Screenshots, dump him, block.

You can do better than this lying POS.

hellsbellsmelons · 29/05/2020 14:24

Kik is a app that people mainly use for hooking up
Yes indeed OP.
He's been doing this behind your back for a very long time.
Probably the whole of your relationship?
So glad you dumped the sad loser!

Skige · 29/05/2020 15:49

How are you OP?

Original poster
Whatalife14 · 29/05/2020 17:21

I’m not doing to great it has hit me and I’m feeling the loss. I haven’t been on the site since yesterday. He has been messaging me constantly on KIK “the fake profile” but hasn’t reached out to me since yesterday. It hurts to think he is probably messaging many other women and I meant so little. I hate that I’m so sad. I just randomly break into tears and missing him is immense even though he is a prick.

OP posts:
Crystalspider · 29/05/2020 17:35

I'd be temped to send a link to this thread, just to show him how many women think that he's a knob rather than the casanova he thinks he is.
Remember your not really missing him only what you thought he was.

lilmishap · 29/05/2020 18:25

No, the KIK request changes it. Walk away. Whenever you think 'I need to know' just punch yourself hard in the heart, it'll have the same effect.

Seriously. He's not who you thought he was. Protect yourself from further hurt.

Skige · 29/05/2020 19:06

You deserve better.

Its hugely hurtful to find this out about a partner but remember its him not you Flowers

Original poster
Whatalife14 · 29/05/2020 20:32

It’s that horrible feeling every time your phone goes hoping it them and it’s not. I am going to block so I know it’s not him and don’t experience that sad feeling every time.

OP posts:
Vodkacranberryplease · 30/05/2020 00:25

Yes blocking is the best way. You found out now you need to reclaim your life - and your phone!

SandyY2K · 30/05/2020 00:41

This made me laugh

He runs everyday... he barely walks

Swishtail · 30/05/2020 14:35

How is it going OP? Are you still messaging him?

littlenickyy61 · 30/05/2020 14:47

if it were me, on your fake profile I would ask him to send a pic . But that's only because I can talk myself into and out of most things and if he sent a new pic it would prove that it wasn't someone who had just taken his profile pic and was using it for their own gains. But that's just me . Im not saying you need to get further proof

Elieza · 30/05/2020 15:02

Message him from your fake account and see what happens.

He could say it’s a fake profile he created to check his pals burd isn’t going behind his back so he’s not on dating himself persay.

If you message him and he chats ‘you’ up then you know not to believe any bollocks about a mate...

kgal3542 · 30/05/2020 22:42

@Whatalife14
How are you doing OP? I was reading , on today's page of this thread, what a sleaze that KIK site is, it seems it's just a casual hook up site, eeww!
As a previous poster has said, act classy.
Do you remember, think it was 2007, when Prince William finished with Kate Middleton? She was pure class, acting indifferent, even though she was far from happy. Anyway, HRH came crawling back and the rest is history, but he didn't have his profile on KIK !
Stay strong, have a break & I bet you will meet someone when you least expect it. Flowers