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Original poster

Found BF back on dating site need to be sneaky!

198 replies

Whatalife14 · 25/05/2020 20:51

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. Everything was great or so I thought. I had a gut feeling just to check he wasn’t on the site we met. Well there he was username changed but definitely him. I’m heartbroken devastated. We had a talk about the site and how we haven’t been on since we met just this past week. So to have him lie to my face makes me so mad and disappointed. He has just met my children after a year of dating because I was certain this was it. I want to just call him but I don’t want him to twist it and know I was on there. I have trusted him this whole time, I’m not sure what made me look. Has anyone any ideas about how I can call him out sneakily. I think I’m prolonging the fact I need to end this just hurts to know I’ve been used and we were a lie.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 27/05/2020 21:47

of course he denied it.. why wouldn't he deny it.. he's still on the App..he's been caught... Confused

Igotta · 27/05/2020 21:52

My what a coincidence. Someone's using his photo and they deleted the profile as soon as you pulled him up on it.

What are the odds?

Original poster
Whatalife14 · 27/05/2020 22:38

I told him it was over that I don’t like that side of him and just felt meh about him after he lied. He’s been texting and calling but I’ve ignored was tempted to block but felt bad then I just went back on my fake account and his profile is back up. I’m laughing what a loser.

OP posts:
footprintsintheslow · 27/05/2020 22:44

Screenshot it ASAP.
Also I was against the whole sneaky thing but now I think you should trap him so you have evidence for your own peace of mind.

hotsouple · 27/05/2020 23:00

Lol what a fucking scrote to put his profile back up immediately. Chancers all of 'em.

minielise · 27/05/2020 23:01

Message him on the site dumping him.

cosmicbabe · 27/05/2020 23:03

Honestly this sort of behaviour is what worries me about relationships. Just can't trust anyone these days. It's very sad xx

NancyBotwinBloom · 27/05/2020 23:08

Well I would catfish him then delete the fake profile.

I'd satisfy my own peace of mind.

Sorry op hope your ok.

backseatcookers · 27/05/2020 23:41

My ex messaged me (through an unblocked channel as I blocked across the board) to say he couldn't believe I was back on Tinder only a month after we split.

This would be ridiculous of him in any situation but made better by the circumstances... why did we split? Because he was a serial cheat and on top of IRL cheating, two different friends of mine got in touch with me while we were together (bless them it was so awkward for them) to say he came up on their Tinder and I (pathetically) let him convince me both times it was due to his low self confidence and didn't mean anything.

A month after our split this exchange:

Him: Wow. Can't believe you're already on Tinder, so you didn't care about us at all then? Good to know.

Me: (his name). You were on Tinder WHILE WE WERE together and cheated on me.

Him: Nice deflection, I wasn't talking about that was I, I was talking about you going back on there so soon.

Pahahahaha amazing.

Mate you've dodged such a bullet, stick to your guns he's a wasteman!

sawollya · 28/05/2020 07:32

@backseatcookers i would say "unbelievable" but it isnt.

Anybody who has done OLD knows it's believable.

sawollya · 28/05/2020 07:36

And the mindset of 'ill cheat on you even though i presume you wouldbe too devastated to date for a long time if you found out" is like an admission but he is too dumb to see that. Not even claiming he thpught you werent that serious about him 😭

AlwaysCheddar · 28/05/2020 07:38

Glad you ended it. Move on.

Nopenotsureigiveahoot · 28/05/2020 07:42

How annoying when you think you've found a good thing.

Same thing happened to me. Took him to his Spain for this bday weekend and saw the pictures I took of him on a dating site.

When I confronted him, he gaslighted me saying I was obviously on there looking for another man.

Cant believe what a fool I was.

sawollya · 28/05/2020 07:45

@nopenotsureigiveahoot omg, shameless balls the size of coconuts

icedancerlenny · 28/05/2020 07:52

I have been found by 2 people on 2 dating sites years after I hadn’t been on them. The profiles had definitely been deleted - in fact one of them was a site I had never used or even heard of (although may be owned by one I have) I think they sometimes use profiles to boost their numbers.

Buggedandconfused · 28/05/2020 08:04

Wow. So it was him then. What a dickhead. You are WELL RID.

CeibaTree · 28/05/2020 08:09

Whose picture did you use on your fake profile? Hopefully their partner won't come across it! I was wondering whether you should have given him the benefit of the doubt but if he reactivated his profile as soon as you dumped him there can be no doubt that it's him and not someone using his photo. Sorry you have been let down so badly, I guess on the bright side it's better you know how than after you had moved in together.

NekoShiro · 28/05/2020 08:13

I was gonna say create a fake profile and talk to him through it, it would prove that he actually responding to women on there, could of seen how far he'd take it, see what he'd say to a new woman and then you would of had proof when he said he wasn't back on there.

hellsbellsmelons · 28/05/2020 08:17

was tempted to block but felt bad
WHY??? Why are we so conditioned not to upset horrible men!???
It drives me mad.
You see it here all the time.
Just block him.
He's a tosser.
Women, as a race, are far too nice!

hfrdgftcsdg · 28/05/2020 08:38

I can’t believe you missed the opportunity to catfish him!!

Friendsofmine · 28/05/2020 09:03

Back up online already hey? You meant nothing to him OP.

You are well rid of this horrid man.

SimpleKindofLife · 28/05/2020 09:58

Oh I've just seen this thread! I definitely would've messaged him from a fake profile! He can just wriggle out of this now and say he just went on to have a look, say it's all innocent, nothing happened, just curiosity or it wasn't him etc.... then you'll have doubts and might weaken.

If you had messaged him from a fake profile you might've been able to confirm it was him via a few details, even meet up! Then you would definitely have proof and harden your resolve to end it.

I suppose it's still not too late. You could try?

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 28/05/2020 10:21

My now xh was on POF within about 3 minutes of me kicking him out. One of his pictures was from the morning we had gone to book our wedding outside the registry office. At the same time he was telling me (before I blocked him) how much he wanted me back, how desperate he was to try again...you have dodged a bullet, weddings and divorces deplete our hard earned money

Original poster
Whatalife14 · 28/05/2020 13:49

So I went petty and messaged him. The profile photo I have is of my co-worker she knows I’m using it shes single. He doesn’t know her. I can not believe the stuff that he is coming out with. He’s been single for 4 months, he ended his last relationship because the women didn’t like or want children and he is desperate to become to dad. He runs everyday... he barely walks. He likes to read and broaden his knowledge. I don’t think I’ll ever trust anything a guy ever says again. @backseatcookers that is crazy. Men are truly special.

I’m thinking now of arranging to meet and obviously standing up. Maybe saying I saw you and your not my thing.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 28/05/2020 13:53

well done OP.. you found out exactly who he is... Flowers