If you're ok with porn....can you please not be

[yesterdaystotalsteps123]

So many people reply to messages on here about porn with"I'm ok with porn" can you please look at Rose Kalemba's fight to get her rape and torture removed from PornHub. This is what modern porn is. Stop being ok with it. And it's been going on for years because Traci Lords was underage back in the 70s/80s. Someone's right to masturbate shouldn't come before human trafficking and some people on here are part of the problem with their"porn is ok" stance. It's time to realise that unfortunately it's really not ok

Yawn.

There is no such thing as ethical porn ever

I think that depends on your ethics don’t you? And there are clearly many porn workers who are not ashamed of it. At twenty or sixty.

You only have to look at the 'we can't consent to' website/campaign to see the increasing number of women & girls killed or injured in violence claimed to be consensual.

'It’s now commonplace to be assaulted and abused by men they’re dating, with 38% of UK women under 400_ reporting being assaulted - choked, slapped, gagged or spat on - in otherwise consensual sex. That equates to 3.6 million women under 40 in the UK who have experienced unbidden violence in sex '

I think it's naive to think there's no connection to the increased availability of porn!

And you stop telling people what to think!

I watch porn sometimes but lately it is starting to disgust me. It’s like I am now viewing it differently and I don’t find it a turn on I find some of it disrespectful to the female actor.

There was one in particular and the male actor tried to enter the anus and the female actor said no it’s too big no no no and he did it anyway my and it dawned on me it was rape! I read the comments and people were commenting saying it’s rape, she didn’t look like she enjoyed it, she said stop.

Made me sick.

I never had an issue with porn. I never watched it but I had been brought up to assume it’s what men did (yes I know - I know better now). My brother would read porn magazines at 16 and probably watched a few dodgy videos but they were nothing like what my teenage sons can see on their mobile phones today. It terrifies me that I can tell them so many times that sex needs to be consensual etc etc but I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle if they watch some of the stuff available. That is their norm. I’ve encouraged them to watch Normal People.

There is no arguing with porn consumers.

Sex for money does not = consent. It is not willing consent, no one is there for the fun of it. They are there for the payout at the end of the day.

You can't tell anyone else what to be okay with. You decide for yourself and yourself only.

Porn is exploitative. I agree totally with all those who say why. I wish I could shake myself for thinking it was ok when I was younger.
Pic attached for general comment.

@NekoShiro actually, the oldest profession in the world is midwifery. Women have been doing this since the dawn of time.

Morally it’s suspect at best but not illegal. Your viewing habits are your own but of course they do reflect on you. The biggest surprise people often have is to realise that their tastes are extreme compared to most. I am always amazed at how people normalise certain forms of porn. 30 years ago it would probably have had you labelled a pervert.

In a way, being blindly accepting of its influence has harmed people’s sex lives. Porn literally used to be for people who did not or could not get actual sex. It was ridiculous. Much of it still is. Some of it is criminal. If you can get by with out it I would - it’s the sexual equivalent of McDonalds. Cheap, mass produced, tasteless and ultimately unsatisfying.

I hate porn. It destroyed my marriage because its addictive. It makes men think women love slapping/choking/anal. It gives young men erectile dysfunction.

Yeah people get off on watching other people have sex. But somehow that's been twisted into normalising harmful practices and complaining means you are "vanilla" and "kink shaming"

Bring back the days when porn = photo of naked woman

I loathe porn but it doesn't affect me so I'm not interested in campaigning against it. If people choose to watch it and take part in it that's their business.

I feel quite sorry for people who need some kind of pain and suffering of themselves or others to reach orgasm. Clearly something went very wrong early on in life for them. My orgasms are fricking amazing and I get there with a lovely clean conscience. And i feel great about myself afterwards. All those sad eyed men having to walk the streets the next day with the knowlege of the number of women and children hurt for their 'pleasure'. What a world we're living in

To people who watch porn, how do you know the people in it have consented? Surely there's always a chance, no matter how tiny, that they haven't. Why is you being sexually satiafied worth more than their consent?

I worry about the effect of porn on kids.

It seems most boys expect anal (at least); many girls feel inadequate if they don't supply what is demanded.

I've seen interesting videos showing teenagers average sized breasts and penises - in all cases the teens presume they are too small, based on what they have seen.

I wonder how many (if any) teenagers know about normal sex these days which is really sad.

Another here who's marriage was destroyed by porn. It's nothing like it was a generation ago.

V informative thread...

I find it interesting to ask those who use porn or support its use how they KNOW with certainty that the women they view are actually over age and not coerced or trafficked considering the industry has an HORRIFIC record of trafficking underage minors etc and promoting teens, sexualising innocence school uniforms pigtails ? Another whole issue of how they would feel knowing the teacher with their teenage daughter is off watching such stuff at night and saying it’s fine cause it’s ‘fantasy ‘ .....the usual response is oh I only watch amateur where everyone consents . It’s interesting then to ask them how much knowledge they have of them huge revenge porn problem and how many women and girls are posted on those sites without consent
These seem to be issues that porn supporters are ok with sweeping under the carpet . It seems when it comes to porn , the rights of women and protection of our girls is secondary to the sexual pleasure of those who support it

In principle there is nothing wrong with watching consenting adults have sex. But there are too many problems with porn; what women face who do it, the reasons they do it, how they are treated, how many men get off on violent and degrading porn, how it can skew how people see sex and women etc. Sure, there are some women who 100% do it cos they like it and would not choose something else even if they have the choice. But you can't know which ones you are watching, can you?

I couldn't forgive myself if I got off to something then found out she was forced or hurt. I don't want to play into the normalisation of rape and other harms.

So I don't watch it or support it. I'd never judge someone who does it. But I can't use it myself. It's too chequered.

When I say 'someone who does it'--I mean someone who is a sex worker.

I don't think teenagers (not just boys as,I'm sure girls watch it too) are so thick that they watch porn and think right that's how to do it? My husband grew up with magazines that were basically porn and had loads,of DVDs of porn when we met but has managed not to confuse real life with porn.
I'm sure there are cases where the participants are less,than willing, but I'm equally sure there are cases where they are totally willing. I don't mind watching porn with my husband and don't really care if others think badly of me because of it. I suspect there are a,lot of jobs people don't want to do but they still do.

Rosebel , you do realise there is a difference between doing a job you don’t really want to be doing and be coerced or trafficked ? Right ? You realise that doing a job you don’t want to do is not quite the same as having your ex partner post your intimate picture for revenge porn or a young girl who’s been sexually abused and developed a drug addiction being coerced into porn
You say your ok with it . Are you ok with the sites the promote invest and teenagers as sexual targets . Do you have daughters.

That is one hell of a weird attitude, Rosebel - some of the participants are being forced, but you are sure that some of them are willing, therefore it's ok to watch all of them?

In addition, today's porn - which includes, a lot of the time, violence, coercion, kinks of various sorts and extreme sexual acts, not to mention the amount of photoshopping/enhancement by camera etc, is slightly different from the old top shelf magazines

She actually does enjoy the job. (as well as the financial gains from it ). She wouldn't do it otherwise. She left a highly lucrative career to do "porn" as her career. Obviously there is some exploitation in some areas just the same as there is in other areas (retail , farming etc etc )

Of course I know the difference. But can you tell me the statistics on people who are being forced. If you have ever watched programmes about sex workers including those who do porn you'll find a lot enjoy it, find it fits in with their life and they make good money, but continue with your holier than though attitude if it makes you feel better. Having a different opinion doesn't make me wrong, we don't all have to be sheep.