Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Windmillwhirl Thanks- I agree most of the time.

I do tend to have a wobble when another seemingly great guy goes rogue with no warning, then pops back up, with a ,' sorry I've had a bad migraine the last 3 days', and expects me to just warm back up...
You cant help but think I'm the common denominator, why does this keep happening to me?

@Eesha- thanks and good on @HairyArsedMan for reassuring you! There's hope yet that there are decent men like him out there.

I think I'm going to go back on tinder. I really really like Mr Vegan but if he can't even be bothered to send me a single text then I'm not sure. Even if he's struggling, I just need to know that he's still interested and I'm just not getting the vibe

@Myfabby I don't think it's you, the same way I don't think it's me! I have lots of beautiful, successful friends who have been ghosted too. I think it's just some people can be rude. I would say I'm friendly in person and I think sometimes irons might just take that to mean less of a challenge than maybe someone a bit more aloof. That's just my spin on it but I can't really play games/hard to get, I am who I am.

Mr Dimples has just popped back up. 'Hello beautiful, I'm thinking about you'
I don't want to block him as it seems too harsh but we had one date on valentine's day. Haven't heard from him since my second date with Mr Army.
Think he is probably just bored and horny. I'm just going to ignore as he seemed controlling when we were talking post date.

Had another call from the lcb ex (lying cheating bastard) although he is blocked I still get notifications that he has called. Wish I knew how to stop the notifications.

Mr Army is just trying to remain productive and take each day as it comes. We have decided not to do the 2 meter distance in a park date as both want to be closer than 2 meters. Its a joint decision and we are just waiting until we can see each other properly although it will be a while.

I left my running shoes at Mr Vegan's before the lockdown as we went running together on our last meet up. I'm tempted to use going to get them as an excuse to speak to him face to face because he's being a knob. Even of he's not meaning to be, he makes me doubt myself and feel needy and clingy just for wanting a "how was your day" text. I honestly would do it... But he's not responding to my messages so it might even be a surprise if I rock up.

If you really need them back @CheesecakeAddict id message him and ask him to leave them on his doorstep for a set time and then just collect them and avoid him.

Yeah I agree. Just a text saying hi leave my trainers outside I am coming to pick them up in the morning
And nothing else!

@CheesecakeAddict

Nah don’t bother. He’s not responding to any other texts. Just write the shoes off.

Why should you lose your shoes just because he’s being a knob? I would try to get them back. Sorry this is happening @CheesecakeAddict

@CheesecakeAddict how long has he not replied for and to what messages ? I don’t think we can discount in this time that someone isn’t having a total breakdown due to the situation. Just ask him the question you really need to ask. Give him that one last chance, these are not normal times and people are not thinking or acting normally.

In my case mr g has acted oddly and not very nicely to me but he’s lost his job and he hasn’t seen his kids for 2 months. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt a lot and a lot more than I normally would but I felt a connection and I don’t want to throw that away and i might be a fool but he could be having a true breakdown and I’ve had one before and you can’t do anything. I’m
Not putting my whole energy into it but I’m hanging in the background. I’ve realised my main job is making sure my daughter stays happy and sane and this whole thing doesn’t ruin her Childhood.

I wouldn't write the running shoes off either Cheesecake and would want to speak to Mr Vegan face to face to see if you can gauge his situation. Agreed that he could be having a difficult time of it and it's not you/the relationship.
I had a bit of a chat with MrC about boundaries and space and things have been better day to day. I'm still torn between thinking 'this is lovely for now' and 'I'm not sure it's what I want forever' and have jesuis on mind but whenever I bring it up he states that he's happy to 'just see how it goes'.
I think my mh is taking a battering at the moment (need to see if I can Skype my counsellor) but yes jane keeping the dc happy is my main priority as well.

Morning All...

I also wouldn't give up my trainers that easily, and would politely ask for them to be left outside.

Hope it goes okay Jane x

I'm not feeling too well today and being in bed is making me worry and over think. My 2 irons have fallen by the wayside....I'm losing hope rapidly.

@bangheadhere40 me too but I can’t control anything and if he’s not bothered it’s his loss tbh.

@bangheadhere40, not nice feeling under the weather at the best of times but lockdown won't be helping. Hopefully you will perk up soon
Dating at the moment is such a mish mash of experiences for all of us. It's no reflection upon anyone if things are not progressing. There is very little normality at the moment. Let's hope it's not too long before restrictions ease and then think of the fun we wil have making up for lost time

@Jane1978xx, it must feel incredibly frustrating that something that was going so well has been affected in this way by a bloody virus. Not taking anything away from the awful situation that CV is but it's impact is so deep and far reaching.
Do you still feel like he's pulling or drifting away ?

Good morning ... joining back in. I am having a few chats. Feeling quite guarded just now.
I do have a ongoing thing thats hard to explain with Mr Tea Party ... but that's not going anywhere.
Chatting to Mr Direct but that's got no future either

I feel it's all futile

I didn't go to see him but he messaged me last night. We had a chat and I will be there when he's ready to talk. In the meantime I'm taking a step back. Not a step out because I do have feelings for him but I am scared if I don't keep back for a while, I'm going to get hurt.

@Onesmallstep67. I just feel like me saying something has made it awkward for us. I thinking too much about it now where as before I’d say morning if i felt like it or send a funny vid but I’m holding back

@Cheesecakeaddict I know how you feel

@Jane1978xx Rule #12. You're allowed to talk about things that are concerning you without feeling you're upsetting the balance. He will either reassure you or not, then the ball is back in your court as to how you continue.🌻

So you think you should have said nothing Jane even though he had not been messaging much? Do you honestly think a man that wants to be with you would be bothered by being asked what's going on? It's like you are looking to blame yourself for his lack of contact, which was happening anyway before you voiced your concern.

@Jane1978xx we should be free to be open about our feelings. Or what's the point?

cheesecake do you think Mr Vegan is just having a bad week. Can you just talk to him? I'd def not abandon my trainers!!

I am glad I said what I did and I don’t think anything is my fault. I said what I thought and he said what he thought although he should have said it without prompting. But I’m not ditching him totally over this but I’m keeping my self the priority

Still trying to get to grips with this OLD thing... Match seems to have dried up completely - no likes (except from a few years weirdos), and the few matches I am getting are with people with whom I have nothing in common.

So I thought I'd try POF. Spent a considerable time setting up my profile but failed at the account verification stage. The codes they sent me didn't work and no help forthcoming from the website, so I've given up. What else can I try. Certainly not Tinder. What about eHarmony? Or Bumble? Anything else? This is all new to me and I'm feeling rather discouraged.

Bumble is quite good I liked it. Only women can send the first message

This week I have had 2 old irons and one ex try to contact me why they are bothering when I dumped their asses is beyond me. 2 sent SM friend requests and one swiped me on Tinder (which I left open and forgot about again)

@FlowerArranger How about OKCupid? I’ve consistently found it’s the best of a bad bunch.

My own dating life is going nowhere, however. Most chats fade out really quickly. I had a nice chat with a guy last night and we talked about sex and how it’s important to both of us. He claims to want a relationship but doesn’t give any indication of wanting to get to know me, and has been sending me more dirty texts today, so I just don’t believe him. I don’t know if I’m being too cynical, but it is what it is. I need to try to do everything I can to protect myself from being used for sex again.