Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

menora I’m not sure how I’d feel about that... 🤔 does he have a type? does it matter?

@Ihavenicelegs

Mr music did initiate chat today by sending me pictures of his beach (the one he lives 2 minutes from that he's talked about a couple of timesI have a really nice but coolish reply an hour or so later.

He got caught in the rain later on and sent a couple of moody wet look, 2002 indie style album cover selfie shots and I sent a couple of gifs and took a moody black and white selfie to send. He genuinely looked beautiful in one picture and I said so. There was a little bit of chat but not loads.

I'm beginning to think he is also over thinking and trying to think of cool ways to contact me to keep it breezy too,

I'm just staying off WhatsApp the rest of the day now. I'll answer him, maybe not immediately, but I guess he has to work a bit and arrange something.
I really like him a lot and I don't play games at all, but I know sometimes a little mystery is attractive.

Just chatting to Mr Food on tinder who seems really nice

Fuck it I might try guardian soulmates if it’s free - not sure it would be that popular where I am but the key is to exchange numbers soon and it only takes one/a few contacts to add some interest to my life? Thanks

@Menora I bet he hasn't even noticed the similarity tbh. And if anything, it would just show you that you are his type, which is a good thing.

@Bunkbedpeople found GSM to be full of those oat latte vegan types who went on and on about where they had gone to school and where their father had gone to school. But its free soooo...

@cravingthelook Honestly its tricky finding the balance. I actually find it exhausting looking at who whatsapped first, if my reply was longer etc. I took a pause this week and I noticed mr golf stopped sending good night texts too. Is it tit for tat or is he thinking I don't want her to think I'm over keen. I don't know but I do know I am not supposed to be stressed so early on... que sera sera

@cravingthelook sounds ok to me! I think you’re probably right about both trying to play it cool and that’s ok at this stage. I wonder if guys like compliments like that? Maybe he’s not used to it?

Keeping busy and doing other things is key.. and not getting stressed 😅 which is what I’m also trying to do. I’m getting better at telling myself if we both want something to happen it will happen, and if it’s not meant to be, it won’t.

I remind myself that I didn’t go through my divorce only to settle...

Mr Cool has asked to meet but not specific on what to do... he replied to my text (asking what’s happening) to say he’s planning something that will work in any weather. I think I like that we’re not firing texts back and forth (which for me is a bit addictive) as the pace feels much more comfortable.

I had a quick look and GSM seems to be closed for new entrants ? I wonder if it has a last orders kind of feel about it as everyone plucks up the courage to make their approaches

I know that one or two on the thread have already said they've ' broken ' lockdown to see their irons. I am just wondering how much longer we are looking at before there is any chance of the government saying we can actually be inside in the company of someone we don't live with ? Or is it just a case of making your own decision ? Realistically we could be waiting weeks yet.

Same! I need some physical contact this century 😭

Thanks @Ihavenicelegs and @Myfabby

He did say awww thank you to the beautiful message. He's definitely got that artsy, musical beautiful look going on.

1/2 hour ago he responded to my moody album cover pic with - you have really lovely hair 😂. I've not read it (just previewed) I have no idea how to respond to that.

I'm watching puss in boots with the wee one.... hopefully that will keep me distracted for a while.

I feel that the whole thing is ridiculous but I guess that's because I like him. I'm not bothered if any of the other potential irons message me or not. I guess that says everything I need to know, so I should enjoy the feelings and say if we are both feeling the same it will all be fine.

@Onesmallstep67 and @Menora well I can't say anything because I met Mr Music and sparks properly flew and with 5 minutes you couldn't get a sheet of paper between us. I don't know if it was pure chemistry, being so starved of physical contact or the illicitness of it ... but it was amazing. I'm thinking and hoping it was a combination of all three but mostly chemistry.

On the plus side all of this endless thinking of Mr Music is keeping Mr Swan from my mind. 😂😂

Every day is a school day - I learned a couple of new dating terms:

'Face Liar' (using old photos) and 'Height Supremacist'.

On the subject of compliments and general comments on appearance, what do people say if an iron keeps doing this?

I've got a match on Tinder, who seems nice and normal. We've exchanged a few messages a day for about week. But every day he will compliment me on something. Today he said I had a heavenly figure. Yesterday it was my radiant smile.

It's just random comments at the end of messages about the weather or work.
I just ignore them as I don't know how to reply. But I'm not sure if that seems rude?

@HairyArsedMan you’ve hit the nail on the head there. There’s more than a few whose old profiles have resurfaced, a couple have mentioned it in their updated profiles, and the guy I’m meeting said he’d got the email and thought “oh fuck it, why not”, which was exactly what I did.

I was on GSM briefly a few years ago and I found it very London-centric (or at least South-based) - don't know if it's still like that? I live far away so not much good for me. I also found the profiles very samey. I like an eloquent profile but I found so many similar that it felt like the same person had written many.

What is a 'height supremacist'?

@shitwithsugaron I agree. I feel like I have been as sensible as I could be and thankfully we are all well in my household. I guess I am just a little apprehensive. But people have needs and I have one or two smug coupled friends who don't seem terribly sympathetic to how difficult it has been for those of us not living with partners.

@Onesmallstep67 I think as the internal holiday industry seems to be setting up to open from 4 July it will change then as they will have to change the legislation about staying overnight on somewhere you don't live.

To be honest, I'm back at work next week and the way I see it, if it is safe enough that I can be in a room with 15 kids where social distancing is impossible, then I'm safe enough to start going on non-SD dates (providing I ever even get a date). We have to start getting back to normal sooner rather than later if they are opening up industry

@Onesmallstep67 i visited family a couple of days back and tried socially distancing by staying in the garden though not very successfully with the kids. I think we now need to get back to some sort of normality given this looks like it will be with us forever. On my potential 1st date in a few weeks, I'm not sure I'll be averse to holding hands or even a kiss if it came up....

echo I usually just say thanks - sometimes I stick a 🥰 in too

I said thanks the first couple of times
But it just doesn't seem right to keep saying thanks when it's every day

Ok guys- date report.

Nice enough girl and it was a pleasant enough evening. I knew from the start that I didn't fancy her. She was a bit heavier and not quite hot enough for me. I know now not to compromise on this.

Also comfirms my view that chatting for weeks is a waste of time. It has to be quick into dates and then let the human side take over. Half of you are living in fantasy land with these text conversations that mean nothing.