I am so sorry you are going through this and I am genuinely scared for your wellbeing while you are with this man. As PP have said, tell your GP about your self harming fears and even the police.
I second this. I also know how hard it is to look clearly at your circumstances, to stop believing the lies abusers feed them, and to recognise ourselves as victims and them as our abusers. It's the most painful epiphany imaginable. It's also urgently necessary if we're to stand any chance of healing.
I struggled hard with this as my abuser was my own father. (He, BTW, wasn't my rapist). He fucked up my head, the way your DH has done to you. So I understand the difficulties you'll face with this. At the moment - and for reasons I now understand although I didn't earlier in the thread - it's too painful to face. But it's an essential step in the healing and recovery process.
If your inclination is still to believe your husband, to agree when he deflects all blame back on you or other women, consider two of the classic tactics of a seasoned abuser. 1. they choose partners who are already in some way vulnerable. Your earlier post stated he's doing this to you because he knows you're vulnerable. Do you think this is the case with him?
- they isolate their victims from their friends and family. You've come here, posting in desperation because you say there is no one in your offline life you can talk to. Is the reason you are now so isolated because he's done this to you?
I'm sure that if your own friends and relatives could know what you were going through they'd gladly help. If you can do so safely, try to look up the Women's Aid Programme online. But look to your immediate safety and mental wellbeing first and foremost.