How does everyone feel about p0rn?

[warmsummersday]

Hi. Im feeling abit insecure at the mo, OH works away in the week and all I can think about for the past couple of weeks is porn and I don't like the idea of him looking at it. I don't know why. Obviuosly I know he looks at it, just like everyother tom dick and harry! I have some but for me to look at it is fine in my head. Can someone reasure me and make me feel better please?

I guess they've been lucky.

I don't understand how people can know that most women in porn have been raped or abused and are pretty much reliving that abuse on film, then still watch it and enjoy watching it.

In my area they are advertising for dancers for two lap dancing clubs which will be opening soon. Hundreds of women have applied (friend in pub trade - knows everyting) and this is for fully nude. Live porn basically.

I cannot belive that they are being forced to do this. The money is great and chance of becoming WAG (whatever) etc....Important to some!

I am completely against any woman - person being forced into anything that they are not happy with.

But one has to realise porn will always be with us and sometimes it is better to know what your partner does than having a shock one day (finding stash in wardrobe) or indeed discovering he/she has had an affair to relieve their fantasies which they were unable to communicate to a partner for fear of scorn / ridicule / disgust.

P x

Where does this idea that all men use porn come from?? Dh doesn't, and thinks it's a pretty seedy, childish thing to do. OK if you're a spotty youth of 15, but come on - grown men wanking over a picture of a woman with her tits out? Pathetic.

Cyber Porn

So ? cyber has made it all worse. From the ?dirty top shelf? to the easily accessible in the home. And what surprises!

Would it be the same if it was all cyber and not real at all. Computer-generated images.

I suspect not. I suspect it would not have the appeal. Therefore - I suspect it to be unfaithful and pandering to a testosterone-driven ego. Immaturity.

This debate will run and run......my dh looks at porn. I am cool with it. Have no problems with it at all.

All of the men I have ever dated have always looked at porn, is it because I am not anti porn that they feel they can be honest?

Do men who say they don't look at porn have partners who hate it and would hit the roof?

People making a lot of money out of disharmony.

Let us say that there is a guy I like. I wait until I see him have an argument with his partner. Then I sidle up.

I would have to be there. Which I would not be.

Hence - it is hypothetical.

But - supposing I could be there. Online. Walk into a club. And then find some way of flattering him without the charge being too evident. Well ? we all know how to do that! ? an expression might be all tit takes!

Dr Northerner.

Honesty is very important. It has meant that you are not stressed by this. Hence - it is generous of you to add.

Are you romantic - or is sex just that to you?

I suspect that you are not. What is your angle then on romance? Certainly not Cinderella!

personally i have a problem with it too. I think alot of the people apearing in porn are exploited and therefore i think that it is buying into and the crime etc behind the porn.

DP was into porn but he doesnt so much now (asaik) as he says it was a case of him clutching at being a bachelor.

Thing is alot of the girls are young enough to be his daughter as well so it doesnt sit right in that respect either.

Interesting that yiou should ask forest. I have never had a romatic attitude to sex. Not a satin sheets and lay on his chest afterwards gazing into space type girl.

I hate the phrase 'make love'. Much prefer to be f**ked if that makes sense.

God can't beleive I'm writing this!

Satin sheets cost money though. Sensual - yes. But not what I had in mind for romantic exactly. Money and romance do not go together in my book!

Nature. Autumn leaves - a bit of Edith Piaf? Kicking the life force with them - that they have so newly lost themselves? "Making love" in a tent with the lightening outside? Less intersting to me than "doing it" whilst ramblers might be 10feet away? Diferences. Yawn - public - me - who gives a f---! who is where ...? One is love-making - the other is pornography ... whatever that might be?

That is what I mean.

I think it's a poor substitute for an imagination, tbh.

porn has ruined our sex life

Blimey! This kind of thread has been going forever! Tonight it is a big problem.

I question how pornography can - not affect the sex life. Except if the male is under the age of ? 23 when he wants it every day.

It is an easy habit that is then hard to break surely? Men get tired ... And can offer far more titillation than a romantic liason?

For it to ruin the sex-life is the main question. Then it surely must be as if there were "actual" others involved?

Elizabetth: your statements about women working in the porn industry are the same old insulting patronizing crap we've had to put up with for years. Many women do choose to show off their bodies for money rather than work long hours in some crappy minimum-wage job. Yes, there are bad people in the industry and groups working to help those people who are being coerced and exploited. But just because you wouldn't like to pose naked doesn't mean that other people mustn't do it if they want to. 'Degrading' is an entirely subjective term, as well: some people think it's degrading to be seen naked. others think it's more degrading not to be able to put food on the table.

Notasheep: sorry to hear you've had a bad experience, but porn - objects - can't get up and ruin your sex life. There would have been issues in your relationship whether or not one of you looked at porn.

yes mm-many other issues!

You sound like a "failed prostitute". There are women that manage to bed rich husbands on a perpetual basis - with the swimming pool - the private school for the children -the bmw to take them to school?

There are some women who are cleverer at it than you are.

Who is "we" madamez? Do you speak for every woman in porn?

It's a fact that most women in porn have backgrounds of sexual abuse and rape - anybody in the industry will tell you that.

Linda Lovelace said that everybody who watches Deep Throat, the first famous porn movie, is seeing her being raped as Chuck Traynor her pimp made her do it at gunpoint. Pretty degrading, no?

Porn ruins plenty of people's sex lives. I suggest you google porn addiction and see how many hits you get. Divorce lawyers are saying that porn is becoming one of the main reasons given for divorce, a state of affairs that has only happened in the past few years.

Porn is a blight on our society.

i like some porn. i think within the realms of a trusting and loving relationship it is more than fine to watch.

As for the exploitation - one can only hope that those movies that are widely sitributed are subject to some kind of regulation.

if this is not the case the case is therefore - not that porn in itself is evil - but that there should be better regulation.

Elizabetth: I speak for myself and at least with a knowledge of the opinions and backgrounds friends and colleagues over the past 20 years. SOme of whom have had issues with assault, rape and domestic violence in the past, some of whom have not (as is the case with friends who are not involved in porn or sex work).
ANd if you're going to cite Linda Marchiano/Lovelace as an example, she also said that working on Deep Throat was an enjoyable escape from the company of her abusive husband and that the people on the set of the film treated her well. She clearly had a difficult life but her story was not as simplistic as the more witless anti-porn campaigners like to claim.

Custardo: in both the UK and US industries there are masses of regulations regarding minimum age, consent, proof of ID etc. There are probably more regulations for the protection of porn performers than there are for the protection of would-be fashion models.

Yeah, that's why she wrote a book called "Ordeal" which outlined what Traynor put her through, the details of which are too horrific to describe here.

It's pretty clear that she was coerced into making Deep Throat (she tried to take the makers to court because of it) despite the lies and obfuscation that the more witless porn advocates try to spread.

An increasing number of divorce cases in America site porn as the cause. I agree

The whole thing just puts me off.

How can anybody be making love to somebody who is porning the rest of the time. Surely they are just acting like the hose in a hose-pipe?

I am not sure about citing what divorce lawyers say as proof of anything given that its' a divorce lawyer's job to get the best deal for his/her client and make the other party look like scum of the earth.

Madamez ... f - o. You care about nobody except yourself and your profits! You have no girls- children I mean!

What are you doing on this site?