Is this paedophile opinion a massive red flag?

[Eternalconfusion]

Namechanged for this.
New boyfriend of 5 months or so. I have dc (1 girl 1 boy both primary aged) he doesn't. I've been in previous abusive relationships so boundaries a bit off.
A month ago we were away for weekend and he voiced a theory - that paedophiles weren't to blame as such for their tendencies. Likened it to how society used to view homosexuals etc. I was horrified, voiced my opinion then asked him to drop it. (I can give further info on the details if necessary)
Since then I consciously forgot about it, reasoned with myself that as he doesn't have kids he can't understand etc.
Today something triggered me, I lost the plot then asked him for some space. He's in a huff, doesn't get why this is still an issue weeks later.
Please can I have your thoughts?

I was thinking maybe the guy just meant they can't help their desires, and he was tactless/thoughtless about how he worded it. Especially since OP herself said "I actually don't think he is a paedophile (although honestly how could you ever know?!) What @blue30 said about thinking he's clever and lacking emotional intelligence is closer to what I think of him"

But I guess if a man says he's definitely a massive paedo, then he's definitely a massive paedo!

@Tiredmum100 that was the first time I'd thought of paedophiles in a different way. Prior to that programme, I always thought they didn't care about how they thought about children, and this made me realise that for some people it is a mental illness and they don't want to think or feel that way.

I guess for the OP this was the final straw, given she was keeping a book of red flags. Like you said OP, who even does that! It doesn't matter what we all think, it's about how you feel and that was uncomfortable.

Op well done, whatever anyone thinks of your reasoning, well done, you felt uncomfortable so you removed him from your life. That is personal growth when you've been in a DA relationship.

@PeanutDouglas that’s what I thought!

Of course it's a red flag. He's probably sizing you up to see if you're ok with it. A scary number of mothers would continue in a relationship after this, but hopefully you'll put your kids first.

*17:36PeanutDouglas

@JiltedJohnsJulie must be true then 🤣🤣🤣*

It's no laughing matter.
It's serious enough to warrant a man's opinion therefore please show some respect.
That's how mumsnet works for goodness sake.
We women are just gagggling and strutting around clucking like headless chickens trying to make sense of it all and then someone asks hubs or hubby and lo! Everyone's calm again, naice cup of tea, naice ham, pom bear, bit of t-rexing and get the penis beakers out for later.
This is why we have a man for prime minister. This country would be right up shit alley otherwise.

If that’s the only thing he had to say about them and didn’t express disgust or horror along with his theories then I would definitely not be able to see past this

@famousforwrongreason 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ok well here's one big difference between being gay and being a paedo. Bring gay meant you are sexually attracted to sexually mature adults, and your partners have the sexual maturity and the autonomy to reciprocate if they also find you sexually attractive. If they don't, or are not gay too then it's not happening.
THATS why there's NO FUCKING COMPARISON.
There's also a significant number of gay relationships in the animal world, particularly between males. Like the two penguins at London zoo who weren't having babies.. then the keepers worked out why. They gave them an egg to adopt and they are now loving parents.
So being a paedo is not just an inconvenient fetish it's a massive abuse of power and a completely unbalanced situation where the victim has not given consent, can not give consent, and is damaged for life.
Anyone who doesn't get that is most certainly not someone that deserves sympathy. Most paedos are incredibly manipulative and devious. They know exactly what they are doing and how it impacts their victims.

I am of the opinion that it can't be helped and we should understand the mental reasons behind it - locking them up won't change them when they get out.

So I think I have the same opinion? But they are disgusting and paedophilia makes me almost want capital punishment...

Unless he meant that he thinks it will become normalised, in which case WHAT THE FUCK. I'd probs be ready to report to the police.

Thought paedos could at least hide it in public?

Then sometimes I remember Mother Mary was 13 (not envy?

This is so disgusting and is why many many children are abusers at the hands of their parents boyfriends/girlfriends. These people prey on weak single mothers/fathers to gain access to children.