Is a single 25k salary enough for a family?

[StepMummaToBe]

Hi. I'm 26, I've got a job (25/30k) won't be much more than that for my whole career,

I've got a new boyfriend, he earns minimum wage (18ish K). He's got 3 Kids are young and don't live with us but spend school hols etc with us. He doesn't have any ambition to get a better job. He pays about £200 in child maintenance a month and has no money left so I pay for most of our living costs, he's is also in 4K worth of debt.

I'm worried for my future, will we be able to afford to have kids? I know he wants to be a stay at home dad- i would be fine with that.

I love him but this is honestly the only thing that has been worrying me recently.

I'm not silly, I know it's doable, but I'm curious for some advice to make me feel better!

Any wise words? Positive only pls 🙏🏻
X

If she's having doubts about the relationship as it is now - why is she thinking about having kids in the future - that is what I meant

Ah, I agree with you, but to be fair, i don’t understand why anyone would be discussing and thinking about having kids with a “new boyfriend”, never mind getting to the stage of him offering to quit work.

Nooooooooooooooo!! Alarm bells are a ringing.

Happy to be a stay at home Dad so then he won't need to pay maintenance for his other 3 children? Oh dear.

Please aim higher x

Think of what’s best for your future kids?

She can’t afford her kids and herself so she moved in with you... effectively you are indirectly funding her children. She has it all planned out hasn’t she? Having a baby with you, she doesn’t have to work another day

Will post this on the next SAHM thread and see what happens

Will post this on the next SAHM thread and see what happens

Don’t forget to post all the other pertinent details about this particular man
His staying in bed while his dp does most of the housework
Being in debt
Paying a pittance for his children

Will post this on the next SAHM thread and see what happens
@pocketem i wholeheartedly agree you should! It’s equally as bad!

@LittleWing80 it would get deleted in two seconds flat for being sexist and misogynistic

What nonsense. If this imaginary sahm thread features a woman who has 3 non-resident dc she proposes to stop supporting to have more dc, please knock yourselves out posting your alleged proof of double standards

@pocketem
Why would it?
OP is in all likehood a female so we are giving advice using the pronoun ‘he’ for her dp. It’s not a gender debate is it? It’s a person being treated badly.

If a woman came on asking for advice having left 3 (THREE) children behind with their dad as primary care giver AND tries to find creative ways to avoid meeting their essential needs AND getting into debts AND looking for a new partner to give her s baby so she can not work and avoid paying for her existing children then I am fairly confident the comments wouldn’t go in her favour.

Op hasn't returned

His lack of ambition isn't very attractive, especially when he has 3, and maybe more children to support in future.

Bear in mind someone also pointed out that we don't know if the OP's partner's kids are all from the same ex, as the OP was talking about "meeting his 2 young daughters" a few weeks ago. He could be paying minimal support to two different mums.

Obviously, as a lot of people live on low salaries. I think maybe they'd also get the child element of universal credit IDK.

It wouldn't be a lavish lifestyle tho.

In actual fact, you needn't live on that level of salary at all, you have far more than that between you at the moment.

It maybe says something about him that you don't feel you can rely on his wage coming in in future?

I know he wants to be a stay at home dad- i would be fine with that

I don't feel you earn enough to justify him not earning. Maybe for the first few years but that's it. Most people whose partners earn that lower wage wouldn't do that I don't think.

It could be done, but life would be a bit bleak in terms of what the family can do etc.

Most people want to make the best standard of living they can for their kids, and I don't feel like he can be arsed or bothered to put the kids first and put the effort in.

I think this 'can't be arsed' attitude would show in other areas of family life too if you were to have kids with him, and he'd do the bare minimum to promote their development, education etc.

I've only looked at a few comments in reply to the OP on page 9 but they mention debt, can't be arsed-ness etc.

He sounds chavvy and lazy arsed OP. You can do a lot better. xxx

Op hasn't returned hmm

Of course not. She wanted people to blow sunshine up her arse and flounced when it didn't happen.

Not enough as a single income in my opinion especially as he already has 3 kids to pay for.

OP only wants "positive positive positive" on all her threads. There was absolutely nothing positive to be said for her housework thread, or this one. That in itself tells me she'll go along with whatever it takes to keep this guy, no matter how much he takes advantage of her.

Hopefully he moves on soon, for OP's sake, as she doesn't seem to realise she deserves so much better.

There was absolutely nothing positive to be said for her housework thread,

Wow and another PP mentioned about another thread where there was 2 babies mamas. This character sounds incredibly more charming by the minute.

Sadly I think OP is determined to make it work, sacrifice herself and future children in the process. That’s sad. I hope you escape while you can OP 💐

I feel sorry for the kids involved, existing and potential. The OP is foolish. They are innocent.

Hopefully she won’t get pregnant. Although he’ll just move on to the next mug I suppose. He’ll always land on his feet.