Can we talk about not seeing partners during lockdown

[SenselessUbiquity]

I think there was a thread about this, but I can't find it.

I'm struggling. I've lost my job, my ex is an arse, my children are brilliant but tiring. My boyfriend is a kind, funny, interesting man whom I fancy the pants off and seeing him (and being in bed with him) is the one really truly feel-good thing I had in a life that can get pretty tiring and can feel very groundhog day, even back when we were allowed in theory to do all sorts of things.

I'm struggling. It's hard.

Please can I ask: is everyone honestly following the rules? And if you are (we have) are you going to continue to do so, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many times they extend the lock down?

Who says romance is dead, @spagbolsandwich?

What makes me think is why are so many dead due to COVID when families of people said they had cancer or heart attacks and it's being recorded as COVID and nothing else
Why are we not hearing about people dying of any other illnesses right now ?
I'm gettin sick of it all and will be breaks in some rules soon obviously using my own risk assessments . And people like spagbol person can go swivel!!

Lol @spagbolsandwich it’s because “the rules” are that nonsensical on this subject that some of us have managed to risk assess that there’s actually not an increased risk to us or the rest of the population that we have done this.

I don't care.

My sons life is MORE important than anyone's, so yeah, what a bitch for putting my child first!!!

People are putting their children first ! How dare you comment when you know nothing about where people have been! If there zero risk there is just that ! It's not like a these people are going around licking everyone in the streets face !
You could catch it from a Tesco trolley ! Get a grip

I don't have kids and neither does my boyfriend. Problem is he lives over 100 miles away, and whilst this was not a big problem before, as we saw each other every other weekend, it now really worries me. I also worked out last night that in the last 10 months we've only seen each other for the equivalent of 2.5 weeks. That made me feel quite shitty. I'd moved and we'd seen each other WAY more pre-lockdown.

It's a concern to me because whenever we do meet next we'd have to get a train to see each other, so it'll have to be once non-essential travel is lifted. I've hated it, my MH has hit the floor, but I've still stuck to it.

It's three months now since I last saw him. I'll stick to it for another six weeks, but after that I'd be much more reluctant and would think of breaking it if things have not improved for live-apart couples.

Is anyone else worried that this is something the government are not going to address? I don't mean this Sunday, but just in general?

I don’t know Bramble tbh. The Welsh and Scottish leaders didn’t address it today so I doubt Boris J will on Sunday. Whether any of them will in the coming months (which was your question) who knows.

If they don’t, couples will just meet anyway. My neighbour’s girlfriend’s car is currently on his drive for the first time since March - they’ve obviously assessed the risks and decided to spend the weekend together.

After following the shielding guidelines to a T my boyfriend and I have made the decision to meet. We have taken every precision and risked assessed everything. We are both happy with the teeny tiny risk.

precaution"

Yes, @FuckYouVirus I agree 😊💕

Is anyone else worried that this is something the government are not going to address? confused I don't mean this Sunday, but just in general?

If they don't address it, then it isn't because they think we should all be kept apart, but just because they haven't considered that not everyone lives in nice neat little bubbles.

For me, the fact that they considered the needs of children who have shared parental care, but not the needs of those parents, says that it isn't about the risk, its just about what can conceivably be managed and contained without opening up the gates to everyone.

FWIW I think it was the right decision not to make a rule that included us because they would have had to put so many caveats on it in terms of the length, seriousness etc of relationship, distance travelled to be acceptable, otherwise people would have royally taken the piss and decided that their best mate was their lover, or that (as one PP charmingly put it on here) the guy you've been fucking for a week is somehow included.

As it stands, we all know that it isn't fair or sustainable to keep non-co-habiting couples apart, and some of us have broken the unfair rule that others have followed to the letter. Maybe I'm lucky that my DP would have paid a fine if we'd been caught out and told off, but given how many more serious breaches of these rules we hear about every day (including from the fuckers in charge of the rules!) I think its up to us to decide what level of risk is appropriate.

When my DP suggested meeting at the supermarket (like some kind of Handmaid's Tale reenactment!) I realised just how daft the rules are, that we could both expose ourselves to more risk at a shop to see each other, rather than just the two of us.

After following the shielding guidelines to a T my boyfriend and I have made the decision to meet. We have taken every precision and risked assessed everything. We are both happy with the teeny tiny risk. I'm glad for you, its been a long time and human contact with our low risk loved ones is so important. Enjoy your weekend in the arms of your partner.

I saw my DP on Tuesday evening for the first time since lockdown started. It was definitely the right decision. We are both working from home, both only seeing our children. My children are with me full time at the moment. His son is going between DP and his ex, who is also working from home. That’s a long winded way of saying, there’s not a big chain, and there’s minimal risk and no one vulnerable in the chain. The benefits of seeing each other after such a long time apart far outweigh the risk for me. I really hope they change things officially soon so that we can also bring our kids together when we have them all. But it does feel like that’s not going to happen in the next few weeks. We can’t all live like this forever though.

Thank you all. To be honest I expected to be slated. I haven't been out in 2 months so I'm 100% sure my DC and I are 'clean'. DP had a test and is now in isolation until the results. If negative he will come to mine for a few days.

Like some pp, I am worried that our situation might not be addressed, that we have been forgotten about. My friends and family had not realised that I wasn’t seeing my partner until I told them, they assumed I was.

I found it very irresponsible of them to consider it in that they advised people just to move in with each other!

This also appears to have made other people think that it would magically be ok if my partner lived with me as opposed to in a separate house but with exactly the same exposure (minimal) for both of us.

Assessed the risk and guess where I’m going today... our decision sits well with us both and I can’t bloody wait. He is my calm place and I need that right now 🥰

Oh, @Feck I'm so pleased you've agreed. Have a lovely day 💕

Thank you @Mascotte. It’s like all the excitement of the first date but knowing it will turn out well! Am in desperate need of a huge hug above all else!

Like being a teenager 😃

I had my dp to my garden last night for a meal and then we sat in my kitchen 2m apart we had drinks and lovely meal and a laugh but my god it was soo hard. We are both at low risk and barely goin out wfh but currently lives with his parents and I have a small child and he sees his child once a week too so if he did come over nn stay it would be only a few nights not long term as it wouldn't work for now. I am really struggling as a few hours in the garden once a week Isn't enough, I understand the severity of the spread and have been following it as much as possible but my mental health isn't the best

So even though lockdown for another 3 weeks minimum are they going to give more guidance on seeing partners or immediate family ?! It's a load of crap !