Can we talk about not seeing partners during lockdown

[SenselessUbiquity]

I think there was a thread about this, but I can't find it.

I'm struggling. I've lost my job, my ex is an arse, my children are brilliant but tiring. My boyfriend is a kind, funny, interesting man whom I fancy the pants off and seeing him (and being in bed with him) is the one really truly feel-good thing I had in a life that can get pretty tiring and can feel very groundhog day, even back when we were allowed in theory to do all sorts of things.

I'm struggling. It's hard.

Please can I ask: is everyone honestly following the rules? And if you are (we have) are you going to continue to do so, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many times they extend the lock down?

We have, minimal risk and I know from friends I'm not the only one who has caved. Too hard otherwise given we have no idea how long this will last.

Saw this on another thread. It's apparently in some parts of Canada:

“In an effort to reduce social isolation, especially for those living alone, your household can join up with one other household, if both households mutually agree. This would allow you to visit, have a meal and enjoy the company of another household bubble. You must not have close contact with anyone else. You cannot join up with more than one household or bubble."

@Mascotte if the lockdown was relaxed by just that, it would really help. I haven't seen my bf since lockdown started, it's mentally taxing for both of us. Atm, seeing him but being socially distant wouldn't work, I think it would just frustrate me to not be able to touch him.

Yep, me too. It seems a really good idea. New Zealand has something similar too. Fingers crossed... it would be massively helpful.

article on healing power of touch in the independent

Anyone else getting a bit depressed that the next round of lockdown changes don’t really look likely to change anything for those us of in this position? I could yet be wrong but the general feeling is no big changes, from what I have read/watched.

I had gone and foolishly got my hopes up... We’ll keep going as we respect the rules, but it would be just so good to have some sort of goal to look forward to! It’s wearing thin now and I just miss him...

I'm feeling really down about all this too @Feckoff.

We've decided just to see each other though. It's too difficult not to and the risk to others is not in fact increased as neither of us goes out except very occasional shop.

Neither of us us young a c various things have made us think time is short so we're not willing to spend months of our lives so unhappy.

Feckoffwithyourbananabread

I think sometimes you need to just make your own decisions.

I met my boyfriend for a walk in the park - socially distanced - because I tried to end the relationship I was finding the situation so difficult to deal with.

He said that, if that was how I really felt, then he'd respect it but he wasnt prepared to let 'social obedience' split us up.

Well my LDR collapsed under the pressure. It has been beyond shit. But he is spain and i am am 3000 miles away in a country under complete lockdown. He has lost his job and just couldn't cope emotionally with it.

Fuck. It is MISERABLE

Oh, @sofato5miles.. I'm sorry to hear that. Is it possible it could be resolved when there's less pressure?

Mine has been hard enough and we live near each other. Have a virtual hug.

Sorry to hear that has happened to you too @sofato5miles. Hope maybe things will change after life goes towards normal again.

Thanks guys. In the coming months, when things ease up i bit i am sure he'll get in touch. I'll see how i feel then but as i wanted to marry him after swearing blind i would never marry again, i am sure he'll get another chance. But i feel very abandoned. It was always tricky as i am normally super independent and together but this rendered me a bit needy and pathetic. I changed, i suppose and his life is in turmoil. Small kids, widowed and now jobless in an industry unlikely to recover.

Just trying to distract myself. Got a dissertation to write and using every fibre of my being to concentrate on that.

Honestly, this is worse than my 1st marriage ending. But the there is literally bugger all i can do.

Have you seen the news?! The top Government science adviser and author of the stupid policy has been caught nobbing his (married) woman at his house during this supposed lockdown!

I now feel no guilt

I agree.

I think it's more cos of where I live: I feel judged by my neighbours. Though I always feel guilty about everything anyway. But I need to see him
And he me.

I am going to. Life is too short.

I'd go for it.

Have you seen the news?! The top Government science adviser and author of the stupid policy has been caught nobbing his (married) woman at his house during this supposed lockdown!

Wtf?! And that other woman sneaking off to her holiday home. Bloody politicians, bunch of hypocritical bastards! I certainly feel less guilty now.

FWIW I’ve spoken to a few of my friends about the situation and they all totally understand and don’t blame me. I’ve also passed neighbours in the street while out for a walk with the DCs and DP when he’s here and they all smile and say hello, not had any negativity.

I think the really vocal posters who shout “are you fucking stupid? Which part of stay at home don’t you understand?!” are probably like most other vocal minorities - very minor and very loud, but not representative of most people. Thankfully most people I’ve spoken to are more measured in their responses than many of the MN frothers brigade!

Honestly, this is worse than my 1st marriage ending. But the there is literally bugger all i can do.

Oh you poor thing - I do think that second time love can be even deeper and harder to get over once you’ve already gone through a big split. It takes a lot to open your heart again doesn’t it.

Glad you have a project to distract you.

To mascotte et al, i would go for it, if i were you.

@RUSU92 Thank you. It's been made worse by him just stopping reading my last two messages over the past two weeks. I knew he was really low and felt defeated the weeks leading up to it. But no argument no.. nothing. So weird. But i saw he had been active on LinkedIn, so no accident or drama. He just isn't coping and was not a fantastic telephone communicator.

Will try to dust myself down and live this limited life until things free up and i can get my life back on track.