I feel so lonely with isolation. Too much time to think and miss the good times, and thinking if I’d said nothing I’d be in his company now and not alone?
@whattododoido.... You have to realise that, in order to be able to have a proper relationship with a man who is worthy of your time, you first have to forge a real relationship with yourself. Not being alone must not be your sole goal in life! You need to learn to be on your own without feeling lonely, and to have good times by yourself.
How can you achieve this? By working on yourself, by developing self-esteem and healthy selfishness, by learning to value yourself and not accept shit from anyone. Those books will help [Women Who Love Too Much and The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem especially, but no doubt there are others]. However, you need to actually take in what is being said and how you can relate it to your own life and learn from it.
I would also suggest that you start keeping a diary. Write down what is happening in your life and reflect on it, try to make sense and learn. For a start, what are you taking away from this thread and the many posts?
Can you also, instead of spending so much time focused on a man, develop friendships with other women, strong women who have goals and boundaries and don't accept poor treatment from anyone. And focus on your career and activities that give you joy. A man - not even a good man who loves you and treats you well - should ever be the sole focus of your life.
“The key is in learning how to live a healthy, satisfying, and serene life without being dependent on another person for happiness.”
― Robin Norwood, Women Who Love Too Much