Ex has reported me to social services

[Peanutbuttermouth]

Just after some advice as I don't have any experience of this.
My ex is abusive. I did the freedom programme and was slowly trying to put boundaries in around him seeing our kids (contact not in my house etc). He was outraged at these new boundaries.

Our dc are 8 and 6. They're ace. He very rarely sees them. When he does come round he calls me a prostitute etc in front of them.

During lockdown I have been putting a movie on for them in the evening and going for a 20 min run. I was running the other evening and bumped into my ex. So of course he then knew I was leaving our children in the house and has emailed social services copying me in. I've just called them and asked what will happen and they said someone will be in touch to investigate the claim. It is true that I left them to go for a run and I don't plan on denying it.

Any advice or experience would be really appreciated.

He's vindictive but you were wrong. 6 and 8 is way too young to leave. I appreciate this is an extreme thought but what if someone realised you were doing it and broke in

If you've been doing this daily you'll probably be investigated by social services. I doubt it will be a quick chat and that's it. Nipping to the shop across the road as a one off is one thing, but doing this daily is negligent with such young children, and I say that as someone who is a fairly relaxed parent.

Why would ss be expected to swallow "it's ok, I know the risks now"? She clearly didn't/doesn't, or it wouldn't have happened

He sounds terrible. But you really shouldn't be leaving your children alone, they are too young.
Can't you do your daily exercise with your children instaed?

You shouldn’t be leaving them.
At that age they shouldn’t be out playing at the park without an adult either.
Maybe it’s a good job if SS do get involved.

I would never have allowed mine to go to a park on their own at 6&8 years old. They are far too young for that. And i would not have left them in the house on their own either.
I would have serious concerns about the safety of your children for both of those things.

I wouldn't mention to SS that you leave them in the park alone with a phone and a GPS watch. This isn't appropriate either.

Involvement with SS isn't necessarily a bad thing. The can give you guidance on what is and what isn't safe behaviour on your part and when it is time to start giving your older child more independence.

@worraliberty no I don't really understand. I can see it's not considered the norm on here but where I live there are packs of kids roaming around from the age of about 4 (with slightly older siblings). I always thought of mine as well looked after in comparison. They're sensible and have dealt with an emergency before (called ambulance for me when I collapsed).

A sensible 8 year old alone, probably fine for 20 minutes. But an 8 and a 6 year old seems ill-judged.

You were very unreasonable.
I would not have left them at that age and you say they go to the park too which is not very responsible. Okay for the 8 yr old but not 6.

Yeh your in the wrong here op. No way would i leave an 8&6 yr old alone so i could go running . Nor would i allow them to be going anywhere alone (ie park)....v irresponsible of you, and you have also given your ex ammunition against you

They go to the park alone, too... Wow.

Yes I agree that ss involvement isn't a bad thing. I'll welcome support.

So are going to stop leaving them alone op?

Does nobody else ever leave their children in the house? Yes, but my DD is 10 1/2 and isn't in charge of any younger siblings.

They probably are a bit young to be left alone OP but I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it, luckily nothing happened to them. If SS do call I’d be honest with them and say you had thought it would be okay but have since discussed it with other parents who have pointed out the risks (accidents in the home, fire, break in etc) and you haven’t left them alone since you saw your ex and you won’t do it again in the future. Stay calm when you speak to them. Hope it goes well (& don’t leave them alone again!)

Park is just at end of road. If I walk out of my front garden I can shout them and they can hear.

don't see how it is any different to kids playing out at the park on their own and mine do that too.
I'm sorry but I didn't let mine do that either until they were much older. I don't know anyone who did though, and my DD doesn't let her children out alone now. Maybe it's depends where you live?

Seriously? Frankly if you think that's ok, god knows what else you think is ok. What if one of them had started choking on something or there was a fire or you got knocked over by a vehicle while you're out? No what you did is not ok. Poor kids

They shouldnt be going to parks at the moment anyway....theres restrictions!

Regarding park - would you see /hear a sex offender with them?

Bloody hell..

My eldest did not go to the park with friends until he was at secondary school. And i dont think i left him at home alone until then either. His younger brother has autism so he cant be alone at all.
Maybe your views in what is acceptable have been skewed by seeing children that young out alone, but they are far far too young to be alone, at home and also outside the home on their own

Oh God, it gets worse!.
This isn't good.
I'd not be mentioning you allow them to the park alone either....

My DC are 10&9. I don't allow them out of my street. Really don't care what other parents do or don't allow. I'd not leave them while I went for a run either.