What job does he do OP? Is he actually a genius enrepreneur? Or a small-scale businessman? Or employed? (His 'we've got to turn this to our advantage' comment sounds very Del Boy, 'this time next year we're going to be millionaires!')
Who looks after the family finances? If you have access to the family budget, or manage it yourself, you know what position you're in. It sounds as though he's keen to keep you in the dark, in fear and in thrall to 'his truth'. So my bet is that he doesn't allow you access to financial info. Have I got that wrong?
Have you both forgotten that single people, most younger couples and many couples with children, work full time and look after themselves domestically too? Doing both is completely normal. Doing a normal full-time job is not that big a deal, or so very tiring. It's ordinary.
The sort of people who have their lives arranged so that they can concentrate solely on work, so have their domestic lives facilitated for them, are rare geniuses: Oxbridge dons who live in colleges like monks (does that even happen anymore?), wealthy businesspeople who pay domestic staff, high-flyers who have forgone family for careers and, that special group, much discussed on here, the 'facilitated men of Mumsnet', who, in the examples I've read, are mostly City high-flyers, who keep and are kept by their wives (like extra demanding children) in a parallel domestic world in the home counties.
Finally, I have found, with some people I know, that if you mentally preface everything they say with the phrase 'It would be convenient to me if...', then it all suddenly makes so much more sense.