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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Let's sing our husbands praises

223 replies

Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 09:10

Good morning,

I've read so many posts on here about how their DH is driving them crazy.

But let's take a moment to sing our praises for all the amazing things our husbands do.

My husband has been waking up every morning to make the kids breakfast and allowing me to have a lay in!

He's been making us all delicious treats like chocolate crepes and other goodies to randomly make us smile. He constantly thinks about my comfort, as I'm working from home and he currently isn't due to the virus. He even made me dinner last night and usually I would be the one doing most of the work during a normal week as I work from home and he works into the late evening with his work. He also has been great with the kids, helping with their homework, making sure they are happy and having fun.

He is truly amazing! Feeling very grateful 🙌

What are you grateful for?

OP posts:
KellyHall · 20/04/2020 18:27

Thank you for a lovely, positive thread! I did one at Christmas too, positivity is so important in life, especially at the moment Flowers

My dh has gone from being out at work all week to being effectively a stay at home dad because I have gone from being dd's main care provider and part-time worker to having a lot of extra work to do. He's had to adapt to his new daily life in 3 weeks, whereas I'd been doing it for 3 years. And we're all doing well: our home is cleaner (not tidier, we have a 3 year old in lockdown!), we're eating proper meals and he made us an assault course in our garden to keep us fit.

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 18:29

@pp I never read the chat forum. I created a topic and selected relantionships because it felt like the most relevant forum to post in!

OP posts:
Ribwort · 20/04/2020 18:29

Describing what should be normal behaviour and saying someone is amazing for showing those behaviours is really damaging I think. Women get the impression that it’s uncommon and therefore settle for much less and think that’s ok.

Exactly. DH is great, but not because he does the cooking and laundry and half the childcare. That's his job as one of the two adults and parents of a young child in the household.

In fairness to him, he would think I'd had a neural incident if I went about starting internet threads about my gratitude for him looking after his own child.

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 18:30

@KellyHall love this! An assault course sounds amazing, wish we had a garden to be able to do this.

OP posts:
LionKingOrTigerKing · 20/04/2020 18:33

Aw this is lovely.

Me and DH are both still working, he lets me sleep in at the weekends, (I struggle with fibromyalgia) he gets up with both DC, made me breakfast in bed on Sunday, and has been sorting the garden & doing housework. More so as we've just had a miscarriage. He's always been a gem and looks after me. I'm so grateful for him

Actionhasmagic · 20/04/2020 18:33

I am so grateful for my husband. He looks after me like no one else has before. He does more of the household jobs than me and constantly makes me laugh. I have been in bad relationships before so it’s nice to be able to be proud of who I am married to.

PlanetMJ · 20/04/2020 18:35

Have you read many of the other posts on this board OP?

LassoOfTruth · 20/04/2020 18:35

I think it's a perfect time to have some positive threads tbh! We're both WFH at the moment while also looking after our 2 year old. I'm heavily pregnant with our 2nd so have been slowing down a bit lately. My DH is and always will be a messy sod but he has been:
Taking the toddler for long walks/cycle rides/gardening projects nearly every day
Doing all the shopping, meal planning and cooking of dinners
Baking, often with the toddler again while I work or rest
Remembering to buy me my pregnancy-craving treats
Doing his best to be cheerful, kind and supportive despite a very stressful time at his work
Endlessly patient with me (hormones!) and with our little DD who is wonderful but very full on at this age (and missing nursery I think)

RedandBluebox · 20/04/2020 18:56

So the relationship forum is specifically for women and men going through horrific situations?
It's not!
If you think relationship is synonymous with abuse, terrible situations etc then get a grip

CandyLeBonBon · 20/04/2020 19:08

Red. Calm down. The tone of the thread has just hit a nerve for some people. Yes it's lovely that the op has a lovely husband who looks after her. It's naive to think that's the case for everyone and no one actually needs to 'get a grip' if they are in difficult relationships that don't match the OP's experience.

Windyatthebeach · 20/04/2020 19:12

Dh is a sahp. We recently got a dpuppy and he did most of the early morning wee trips letting me sleep for work.
I am not working now but he is still getting up at 6 with dpuppy!! Lie ins galore here!
50 /50 rest of stuff but sleep is my sanity saver right now.
6 dc here...

Chiyo666 · 20/04/2020 19:17

If you’re offended by the thread, don’t fucking read it! My husband died last year so everyone should not post about their husbands incase it upsets me. Not.

My husband was beautiful in every way. Everything he ever did was for me and our kids. I miss him a lot. I think this thread is lovely. It’s important to stop and appreciate our partners.

Ragwort · 20/04/2020 19:18

These threads are so tedious.

There are an awful lot of tedious threads on Mumsnet (I’ve been here for 20 years Grin), I don’t think it does any harm to show what ‘normal ‘ relationship can be like.

You could just as easily say that the numerous threads about shit DHs who do nothing around the house (“but I love him and we are expecting our second/third baby” Hmm) are just as tedious .....

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 19:22

@chiyo666 so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was an amazing man!

Thank you to all the ladies who realise and appreciate the concept of this post.

OP posts:
MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 20/04/2020 19:29

He's great and I love him. I'm lucky

Crystal87 · 20/04/2020 19:47

The one thing I'm happy about during the lockdown is that I've had him home every day. Not only because he's a great dad and an extra help with the kids, but also because I love him and really enjoy his company. I get that some women get fed up of their partners being around them constantly but I can honestly say that he never makes me feel like that.

disorganisedsecretsquirrel · 20/04/2020 19:49

Thank you OP.

Yes relationships is exactly the right place. Relationships come in all shades. Your thread is a happy one.

My DH and I are separated because of his MH and my need to put my children first. Not exactly 'sing from the roof tops' kinda stuff.. but I am really thrilled to read your positive thread.

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 19:59

Thanks @disorganisedsecretsquirrel - really appreciate you saying that!

OP posts:
Holothane · 20/04/2020 20:21

Mine brought me dr who series 11.

mamansnet · 20/04/2020 21:14

@Gratitudeiseverything Thank you for trying to spread some positivity during this crappy time. It's a shame some feathers have been ruffled, but there we are. Personally I think it's heartwarming to see people appreciating what they have and showing gratitude for it. Not everyone is so lucky, so it's good to recognise when you are.

Most of my models for relationships when growing up were who couples took each other for granted, bickered constantly and seemed to have little respect for each other. They wouldn't bite the bullet and separate so ended up being miserable for years on end. I used to think that was normal. So I feel very, very fortunate to have found something different and to be able to define my relationship as loving rather than tolerated. And I think it's important to show DH my appreciation for that, so I tell him often how I feel lucky to have him. It has little to do with how much he does around the house - I want him to feel loved and in a happy marriage, and he tries to make me happy in return.

I hope you've told your DH to his face all the nice things you've said about him on here! Grin

WaterIsWide · 20/04/2020 21:58

I suspected Relationships was a man bashing thread. This has confirmed it. I mean the people who came on this thread to moan about people being nice about their partners.

My sympathy to the lady who was widowed last year when her husband died last year.

Spain1 · 20/04/2020 22:00

Let's not!

Jennifer2r · 20/04/2020 22:03

I don't have a partner and I'm really quite lonely at the moment, I'm still enjoying your posts.

Happiness is not a zero sum game.

DoTheNextRightThing · 20/04/2020 22:05

I'd like to sing my DP's praises. We've been together almost three years, but don’t live together. Or at least we didn’t until this lockdown. I'm so glad to have discovered that being locked in together 24/7 has only proved how compatible we are rather than driven us apart. He's a star and I'll miss him when he's allowed to go back to his own place again 😂

Ribwort · 20/04/2020 22:23

@WaterIsWide, why not spend lockdown working on your internalised misogyny?