Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Let's sing our husbands praises

223 replies

Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 09:10

Good morning,

I've read so many posts on here about how their DH is driving them crazy.

But let's take a moment to sing our praises for all the amazing things our husbands do.

My husband has been waking up every morning to make the kids breakfast and allowing me to have a lay in!

He's been making us all delicious treats like chocolate crepes and other goodies to randomly make us smile. He constantly thinks about my comfort, as I'm working from home and he currently isn't due to the virus. He even made me dinner last night and usually I would be the one doing most of the work during a normal week as I work from home and he works into the late evening with his work. He also has been great with the kids, helping with their homework, making sure they are happy and having fun.

He is truly amazing! Feeling very grateful 🙌

What are you grateful for?

OP posts:
Porpoises · 20/04/2020 16:53

*fake

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 20/04/2020 17:02

Your husband has made his children breakfast, ‘allowed’ you to have a lie in and made dinner. And because of this he is amazing a you think you should sing his praises. Confused

Sorry but I refuse to sing my partners praises because he acts like a partner and father should. It’s that sort of thinking which makes it acceptable for so many men to behave terribly and not take responsibility as if that’s the norm and anything better than that is something to be amazed at.

SandyY2K · 20/04/2020 17:07

Except the board is pretty much full of women in shit relationships asking for support.

An entire thread about how fabulous your relationship is as an example of how those women are just plain doing it wrong doesn't seem supportive to those women.

You can't please everyone in life.

I don't agree it's unsupportive....and maybe those in abusive relationships can take something from this thread and if not...they can move on to another thread.

The Duluth wheel is used to show victims of DA what the flip side to an abusive relationship looks like....because believe it or not, a lot of victims don't realise they're in abusive relationships.

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 17:25

Wow I'm really disappointed with the amount of negativity that has sprung from this post when it was intended to bring joy. I never set out to offend anyone 😔

OP posts:
BertiesLanding · 20/04/2020 17:26

As a counsellor, I have become cynical about posts that "sing people's praises" - in the same way that I am wholly suspicious of social media posts, for example, where people extol the virtues of their significant other. Typically, I've found them to be a defence against something - whether it's the relationship itself or something a little more distant, but where there's a string of recognition being plucked anyway. Of course, these things are unconscious, and will be the last thing a person will want to look at.

To put it in this part of the Talk section is tone deaf at best.

Ihavenoregrets · 20/04/2020 17:27

Wow I'm really disappointed with the amount of negativity that has sprung from this post when it was intended to bring joy. I never set out to offend anyone

Read the room

BertiesLanding · 20/04/2020 17:27

I'm not offended. I'm frustrated.

CandyLeBonBon · 20/04/2020 17:30

You're very lucky. Congratulations

CandyLeBonBon · 20/04/2020 17:32

Actually you remind me of the guy phoebe dated in friends (the Alec Baldwin character) who Was Just So Positive.
There's nothing wrong with counting your blessings. There's everything wrong with sounding smug and tone deaf.

But yay! Go you OP! You got a good one.

Waterandlemonjuice · 20/04/2020 17:34

And you’re a counsellor? Are you sure?!

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 17:34

Yes I'm thankful to all the women who understood and appreciated the concept of the post. I find people will always look for negativity even when it's not there. I love hearing about other peoples joys which is why this was created, no other reason. Of course everyone has their ups and downs but this was about having gratitude for the good that we all have. Sorry for anyone going through a tough time, was no way intended to upset anyone. And I didn't know this board was an off limits for Happy posts, I know now for the future!

OP posts:
SallyWD · 20/04/2020 17:37

My husband is lovely. I've been with him 17 years but it still feels so fresh. He is always kind, calm and reasonable. He is a real family man.

SallyWD · 20/04/2020 17:38

Lovely idea for a post by the way OP ❤️.

Original poster
Gratitudeiseverything · 20/04/2020 17:41

Thanks @SallyWD - your husband sounds like a gem! 😁

OP posts:
Yogawoogie · 20/04/2020 17:43

Dh got laid off (thanks coronavirus) and found a new job the next day. He’s working so hard 7 days a week in a job that’s not particularly exciting but he said that he needed to work. (I’m also working).

I used to like reading positive posts about marriage because mine (exh) really wasn’t positive. If I had listened to my mother I might have believed that it was supposed to be shit or that it was my fault. The relationship board, one poster in particular and hearing that not everyone was treated how I was being treated saved me. I left, met my lovely dh and I’m now happy. He can be an arse at times but so can I.

RedandBluebox · 20/04/2020 17:44

BertiesLanding this is why I gave up going to a counsellor. Dangerous and misleading rhetoric made up for the sake of keeping a job. What a load of rubbish!

Seems there are lots of incredibly sensitive people out there. I wouldn't want to be with someone who refuses to acknowledge their partners good qualities

How miserable!

CandyLeBonBon · 20/04/2020 17:44

Op if you'd worded your original thread title a bit less evangelically you might have received different responses. I think the problem is, you're talking about what SHOULD BE perfectly normal behaviour from a partner (of either sex). Kind, thought, calm and loving.

So many women on here have nothing like that. Their normal is so different to yours and to suggest that we all 'sing our husbands' praises' as a title sounds extremely tone deaf to a lot of women who would give their right arm for what you're describing.

If you'd written 'to be really glad I've got a good'un' or something similar you may have achieved your aim. But your op just came across a bit 'stepford wives' I think.

I'm a single mum and have been for 10 years. Even when I was married I didn't experience what you're talking about. I get you want to spread joy but evangelising you're relationship on a forum where many women really struggle with difficult relationships seems a bit smug.

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 20/04/2020 17:50

I think the problem is, you're talking about what SHOULD BE perfectly normal behaviour from a partner (of either sex). Kind, thought, calm and loving.

Yes, exactly. Describing what should be normal behaviour and saying someone is amazing for showing those behaviours is really damaging I think. Women get the impression that it’s uncommon and therefore settle for much less and think that’s ok.

BertiesLanding · 20/04/2020 17:53

RedandBluebox - That's why I initially stopped therapy too. It works for some; it doesn't work for others; there are good therapists and bad; and there are people who will do anything not to face themselves.

Fuckmyliferightnow · 20/04/2020 18:01

This post doesn't make me feel positive or happy. It just re-enforces that there many lucky people out there that have no idea how the likes of myself feel to be trapped in a miserable life, with awful partners and no way out.
I don't want to bring anyone down and it's lovely that you are all in loving relationships but it does leave an unsavoury taste in my mouth.
It's a bit like stealth boasting about how rich one is.

GinWithASplashOfTonic · 20/04/2020 18:05

I'm single and I'm going for totally different direction and agree with the OP and her reasoning for starting this thread.

The dating world is pretty vicious and some people have left crappy relationships recently. So it is nice to know that there's some good guys out there. Because sometimes they just seem to be mythical legends

Also I don't care what topic it is in. I access a lot of the threads on my active topics list. So it wouldn't matter what topic it is in. If I like the sound of a title I'll click on it.

Also Mamansnet's suggestion of a good relationship topic isn't a bad idea

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 20/04/2020 18:16

I'm not offended by this thread, I just don't think it's necessary to sing my dps praises for taking the bins out or making dinner a few times a week. Just things he should be doing, you know, if he wants to live here.

RedandBluebox · 20/04/2020 18:18

Seems there is a lot of bitterness out there

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 20/04/2020 18:24

Bitterness ffs 🙄

PlanetMJ · 20/04/2020 18:25

I'm not offended by this thread. I just think it's at best insensitive to put it smack bang on a board where women (and men) come for support in some awful circumstances.

It's like being in a conversation with a friend who is pouring their heart out about an abusive partner and saying "yeah that's terrible, sorry you and your children are being terrorised but let me tell you how amazing MY husband is lolz, let's try and be positive!".

It would jar with the conversation, however well meaning. That's what this thread feels like here. In a "chat" conversation, fine, appropriate. But it seems such a weird response to have when you're reading the threads in relationships to think "I know what'll cheer them all up...hearing about my hubby taking out the bins"....