Dating Thread 188 - Living and Loving in the Lockdown

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

The next stage of lockdown is meant to be clarified today so I'm waiting for that until making any decisions. It's all so confusing, one minute you can meet up as long as you stay 2m apart the next minute you can't.
I think it would be hard trying to stay 2m away from Mr Army.
There hadn't been any clarification on when you can see your family that you don't live with or friends/partners etc. There might be some later.
At the moment everything that the government has predicted to go back to being open on certain dates is only just a prediction depending on the infection rate.

It is hard being with someone 2m away and wanting to jump on them. I'd rather see my partner than not though. I miss him and I enjoy our walks. If he had not wanted to see me I'd have been hurt and not taken that as a good sign. I'm sure others will think differently though.

The full exit plan has been revealed and the main points are:

families cannot meet up even of they stay 2m away.
Families and friends could be allowed to mix in 'bubbles' from June if the battle against the virus goes well.
Garden centres to open from Wednesday with social distancing in place.
Can go and exercise more than once a day.
Outdoor sports like tennis and gold will be allowed but only with one other person from another household.
You can go to work where possible in certain sectors but those who can work from home should continue to.
Hospitality and non-essential businesses to remain closed.
Majority of schools to remain closed until September.
Reception, year 1 and 6 will go back in June but parents will not face fines for not sending their children in.

Unfortunately it looks like it's going to be at least another 3 weeks before we get to see any irons etc

I've found today and last nights messages so confusing - and now i really don't know what to do. I can't meet Mr Mobile until the weekend anyway as have my kids here with me - so I'm hoping the message will be clarified during the week. I do think I will want to see him - all be it at a distance as that will be better than nothing.
God the timing of this virus couldn't of been worse as really feel like i finally found a nice guy and now I can't actually see him!!!!! I feel like crying.

@iamthrough I think we must have posted at the same time. The full exit plan has been published and it says that you aren't allowed to meet friends or family even if you stay 2m away.
The virus/lockdown really couldn't have come at a worse time for many people and it really sucks

@dancerinthemoonlight the issue we all have is the confusion. I've literally just read on the BBC website that you ARE allowed to meet one person outside????

"People are also allowed to meet one person from another household outside." This is a quote form the news story
And it doesn't mention anything about "bubbles" or garden centres opening Wednesday or playing Golf or tennis with another person. In fact if you're allowed to play Golf with someone from another household as you say then why can't you meet 1 other person in the park - it just makes no sense and is doing my head in. I've already been in tears twice about this and the confusion is a nightmare.

@iamthrough that is the confusing part. I suppose it's because you might play tennis or golf and no other member of your household does and you can't exactly play tennis alone.
Along with that you are allowed to talk to people of you are sunbathing as long as you are 2 meters away.
Maybe it will depend on how you and your iron view those rules and if you are in a place where police are moving people on etc or where there is little to no police presence.
I know for Mr Army it will be a no meeting until the rules say we can but then I suppose that's what being in the army means. Having to follow rules to the letter.

I copied the new rules from a newspaper article that was only an hour old so it looks like they released the 50 page guidence around 2ish

Yeah I totally understand this section to mean you can meet 1 other person providing you stay 2m apart.

I interpret it as you aren't meant to.
I don't think there will be any change for me anyway as Mr Army is used to following rules and is following them to the letter.

Dr Ranj has put a little guide on the new advice.

They were saying you can meet one other person, but alone. But what’s the difference (apart from crowd size) with me and MiniSJT meeting a friend and just me meeting a friend.

Full guidance is here and applies from Wednesday

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do

The link to the gov plan if you want to read it all.
It is quite vague in places because it depends what happens in the coming weeks

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/884171/FINALL_6.6637COO_HMGC199_RecoveryFINALL_110520v22_WEB11_.pdf

Some key points
" as well as exercise, people can now also spend time outdoors subject to: not meeting up with any more than one person from outside your household ; continued compliance with social distancing guidelines to remain two metres (6ft) away from people outside your household; good hand hygiene, particularly with respect to shared surfaces; and those responsible for public places being able to put appropriate measures in place to follow the new COVID-19 Secure guidance.
People may exercise outside as many times each day as they wish. For example, this would include angling and tennis. You will still not be able to use areas like playgrounds, outdoor gyms or ticketed outdoor leisure venues, where there is a higher risk of close contact and touching surfaces. You can only exercise with up to one person from outside your household – this means you should not play team sports, except with members of your own household.
People may drive to outdoor open spaces irrespective of distance, so long as they respect social distancing guidance while they are there, because this does not involve contact with people outside your household.

Schools:
"Schools should prepare to begin to open for more children from 1 June. The Government expects children to be able to return to early years settings, and for Reception, Year 1 and Year 6 to be back in school in smaller sizes, from this point. This aims to ensure that the youngest children, and those preparing for the transition to secondary school, have maximum time with their teachers. Secondary schools and further education colleges should also prepare to begin some face to face contact with Year 10 and 12 pupils who have key exams next year, in support of their continued remote, home learning."

Ahh feeling really weird about the whole lockdown lifting now. My friends are all over WhatsApp arranging to meet up one on one once kids are in bed, so feeling left out about that as I can't as no partner at home to look after the kids etc.

Also I'm feeling really frustrated not knowing when I'll see my boyfriend. For various reasons I think the only way it would work was if he moved in with me. Which I'd absolutely love, but could be too disruptive for the dc.

When lockdown happened I never thought it would be this long until we saw each other again.

I am in Ireland and the messages about when and who you can see outside of your family are much clearer I think. Well I’ve decided to jump into this online dating thing - started chatting to the guy with no profile pic out of boredom and moved to whatsapp so have been messaging a little back and forth. He is only dying to get together and keeps asking me when I’m kid free etc and he wants to cook for me etc - he asks me the same stuff over and over because I think he has probably loads of messaging going on and forgets🤣 I really have no intention of starting anything with him but he is an amusing diversion. I got a notification from POF that I had a message and when I checked it (from someone else) he was online so he’s doing what I’m doing and keeping his options open! I know he just wants a hook up type thing and that is just not me so should I just stop all contact now or enjoy the chats for what they are- 2 strangers passing the Time!

I’ve been really dilemma-ing now all day!

I think my impatient side is wondering do I go back on OLD or not. Do I continue the friendship and see what happens, what if I am all like ‘snog me now’ if we meet and he is too shy to. Why am I thinking about this so much 😂 argh what has happened! I’ve been so ‘friend’ with him. Am I just feeling horny today (probably yes). I’m so used to men trying to get in my pants I am bamboozled by one who is not trying at all!

I have tried to be flirtier/more open generally to gauge him a bit and I have had a few responses that seem to show me he doesn’t think the same way as I do, or he is just trying not to jeopardise anything. He is giving nothing away. But still texting me!

I’ve looked back and I have sent him some songs that have sexual type lyrics (not gross ones obviously), a nice photo of my bum in short shorts when I was sunbathing, me with make up on looking nice, told each other about how we wear no pants at home and we have talked about strippers and dick pics (both agreed gross) and he’s all very ‘I am so innocent about this stuff’ either he is very innocent or he’s a dark horse pretending.

I’ve gone back on Tinder. Executive decision

Good for you Menora
Friendship is great but we all need a little flirty chit chat occasionally.

I had a quick look on POF, loads of people online. But I don't feel like I want to unhide my profile just yet. By the end of the month I expect I'll give it a try again.

I can’t over think this. I do need some level of flirty stuff going on too. Not for self esteem reasons (I do think he likes me) but compatibility

I can’t bring myself to look at POF and I also am keeping my radius on Tinder on 1m
I do not want to see Mr M and he is in my age bracket within like 23 miles or something

I don’t recall @Menora, did you already meet or is ‘return’ a reference to re-establishing a conversation ? I’m the reserved sort so I would imagine he’s giving you due consideration and also feeling out your intentions given this is a second attempt. It’s very difficult at the moment as there is no end in sight and I’d feel worried about us getting attached through text with the physical attraction unconfirmed. Though I think you did video calls ? The issue may simply be that he took the friend vibe at face value and enjoys you for the person you are without needing to escalate the situation towards an immediate encounter. I always thought it was a rare thing to be chatting to someone on my wavelength and cherished it when it happened.

@HairyArsedMan

We never met - but in part as he never instigated it and I met Mr M. We chatted for a few weeks then I stopped then I got back in touch with him. During that time Mr Return didn’t message me again but he did say he wanted to (but didn’t) he is not very confident in this area at all I think.

He is so nice, chatty, warm, funny, sweet, interesting, intelligent - he’s so lovely. I just don’t know if he lacks confidence or I would be too far out of his comfort zone. He calls himself a geek all the time. I am actually happy to wait to meet him I just now have become unsure of how he sees me and if it is just a friend or not. He is hands down the nicest OLD person I have ever communicated with

We have had great video calls and phone chats too.

But I am feeling impatient and probably frustrated. I’m half happy with low key friendship with no pressure and the other half of my wilder side wants some ramped up flirting 😂

@Menora he might just be really bad at online flirting. But there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open regardless.

Something really weird has happened with Mr Vegan. So Sunday I drove 12 hours to pick dd up from her dad's. By the times I got back, I couldn't finding a parking spot anywhere on our street. I was tired and couldn't be bothered driving around aimlessly trying to find parking, so Mr Vegan said it was OK to park on his driveway overnight (he doesn't have a car so doesn't use it). Anyway, I did and he obviously came to the door and said hi and we chatted for a bit as dd was asleep in the car (still more than 2m distance) but it seemed really awkward. We've gone from speaking 2 to 3 times a day, to barely at all. We had about 2 phone chats last week and then he didn't get in contact Saturday. Sunday we had a phone conversation after dd fell asleep in the car for like the last 45 mins of the journey. Nothing today at all so I thought I'd wait and let him make the first move. He sent me a text at 6pm, I replied and asked him a question immediately , but no response. I think he's getting bored of me 😔

I think if he’s come back to messaging you, maintains conversation that is “warm, funny, sweet, interesting, intelligent”, he does not see you as just an online chat friend. Not many blokes reveal themselves that way early on. Sounds like he’s being respectful of you now as he was back when you broke things off to talk to Mr M. Also all of those qualities you attribute to him are actually something you’ve both created, so give yourself a pat on the back rather than considering yourself out of his comfort zone. Obviously as a very remote observer I have not a clue about the compatibility question, but both of your values seem to have produced something that is pretty damn infrequent in online dating, in my opinion.

What has happened with Mr Vegan? You were getting on so well? Can you trace it to an incident? Or is it more him going quiet?