Dating Thread 188 - Living and Loving in the Lockdown

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I think it's very confusing. Back to work. No public transport. Reception and year 1 kids back. Why? They can't socially distance.

And nothing on seeing close friends or family. I want to be able to see my Bf. We operate as one household and minimise all interaction. It's been 7 weeks...

All the talk of being able to mix households albeit on a limited basis didn't come to anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

It is not going to work for people that they can spend all day with colleagues but not their loved ones
But I don’t suppose you get too close to your colleagues as you do your partners!

It's not all back to work though because there are a lot of industries that still can't work.
It is all very frustrating and confusing. I don't think that the increased fines will do anything. People were already beginning to exercises more than once a day and sun bathe so nothing has really changed.
I don't think the parks where I am will open up because the government said that parks were allowed to be opened a week.or so ago and they are still closed. I'm luck enough to live rurally so there are plenty of fields to walk over.

I think it's very confusing. Back to work. No public transport. Reception and year 1 kids back. Why? They can't socially distance.

And nothing on seeing close friends or family. I want to be able to see my Bf. We operate as one household and minimise all interaction. It's been 7 weeks...

This! I can take my child to school and come into contact with all the other parents in the playground but I can't meet a close friend for a walk in the park at social distance?

I’m in Wales so we don’t follow that our only change is can have more than one walk a day.

Does anyone know if my pof profile is hidden and I view someone can they still tell?

no, they can't tell
But you can also change your settings so that it doesn't show if you look at a profile

PM's statement means nothing to me. I've been working throughout. Year 6 child is still at school. Year 9 child it sounds like won't go back until September. Still no face to face with friends and as for dating... feels like that will be the 5th of never!

Thanks Echo

Not much change as expected, my son won’t be going back to school (reception) at the start of June, I don’t see the point in sending him for four weeks. I note they didn’t mention nursery schools, or people returning to work being able to access childcare.

I can now do my daily run without breaking the rules.

@Menora Oh no, a night on the sauce always leads to trouble!

@TigerDater We were talking about last night, people say “love is blind” when they really mean “love makes you ignore all their bullshit”. Loving someone is great, I’m not saying it isn’t, but if the practical stuff, living together, marriage, kids, finances etc don’t match up it doesn’t matter how much you think you love someone, it won’t work. At the end of the day MrNN isn’t here just because I love him, it’s because the other stuff generally lines up well for both of us and that’s more important.

You also have to ask if certain things will irritate you and to what extent, will I get annoyed at having to wash and brush MrNNs hair, will I get annoyed that we can’t have active holidays together etc and obviously he has to do the same. Loving someone is one of the most amazing feelings in the world, I do love MrNN but if the other stuff didn’t match up it would make loving him pointless.

I’m intrigued @SimonJT, why do you have to wash and brush Mr NN’s hair?

He has something called arthrogryposis (i think I spelled it correctly) and for him it means he doesn’t have any muscle in his forearms and his hands are almost flat to the inside of his wrists, his ankles are also a bit dodgy so his balance isn’t great(Will from this years strictly has the same condition). So he can touched his head if he lifts his upper arms, but he can’t stretch his hands/fingers out and away from his wrist, so he can’t rub his hair, hold a comb etc. He’d normally go to a barbers or get his housemate to do it.

You can meet someone from another household in outdoor space and as long as keep the 2m rule. It is being reported on many sites and will be set out tomorrow in the document.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52612449

Ah that’s interesting Simon I hadn’t heard of such a condition before. And I like your idea that it’s pointless to love someone if everything else doesn’t fit. It’s good to keep in mind that there should be a point to all this hard work we put in to dating! It just takes some of us a long time to work out what the point is. Just not wanting to be alone is not a good enough point.

So now the Government has clarified that people from different households can arrange to meet up - but outside and 2m apart I'm starting to think about meeting up with an iron I met just prior to lock-down, we talk all the time on video calls. I'm confident he would stick to the 2m rule - but I'm wondering if actually that will make me feel worse - seeing him - but not being able to get close. Whats everyone elses thoughts on this?

I am not going to do anything else
I may go to see my friend who lives alone that is all and sit outside maybe

Mr Return has his DC anyway so how does that work he has no free time to meet me 😂 but even then I think it would be weird to meet up 2m apart for the first time although we are not exactly romantic right now anyway I have no option 😂 and I have no idea if we fancy each other!

To clarify I do find him attractive. I like his voice a lot. But I am not sure if we are compatible romantically

I'm not in England so this new ruling doesn't apply to me but I found it strange meeting friends and family, albeit outdoors and at a 2m distance, wasn't mentioned but opening cinemas in July was?!

Last night I really had to think about this situation with Mr Return as I was unsure whether it would be like ‘you can meet up!’ and how I felt about it

we did talk about it and he has the kids, so can’t anyway. Then I had to think about how I see him and this situation - just friends? Do friends really talk this much 😂 or is it cos it’s lockdown?

I purposefully have not ever looked him up on social media - nothing. It’s like he is a completely fresh everything. I also never check he’s online or anything but I think that’s cos of lockdown 😂 but he never gives me any bad negative or anxious feelings ever. But then that’s because we are mates? Or I am not very bothered? Or this is just normal? Which one is it?

he is really not my usual ‘type’ of bloke at all. He is shy (also no more talk of his ex). My usual type seems to be slightly sleazy, disrespectful, lazy, laddy and shady. Mr Return is absolute opposite but I don’t know i will just end up completely friend zoning him. I think he’s being very cautious so he doesn’t get hurt - it won’t be as painful if he never has to take any steps to show he likes me 😂 so he might be very risk adverse and therefore completely frustrating as I would have to do everything 😂

I know what you mean @menora It's difficult understanding how you feel about someone in these times. I've resolved to not overthinking it and working things out for "real" once we're back to a more normal situation (which won't be for some while I imagine) I love talking to Mr Mobile - he genuinely cheers me up, and for me I know we "connected" as we did meet prior to lockdown but that now seems a very long time ago and its getting more difficult to keep things going without actually being able to meet up. Hence why I am considering meeting at 2 m distance. I live in an area with relatively low numbers of cases so I'm actually not particularly worried about the virus - but understand that we would have to adhere to rules.

Replying to:
"Jane1978xx Sun 10-May-20 19:16:11
@Weallhavevalidopinions we’ve been together 4 months so it’s not very new. Also it’s the tone as well as number of messages , from messaging 40/50 times a day and an hour phone call to a few one word answers other days is crazy ."

Ah, I see. I am new to this thread and so catching up on what it's about.

That is a massive change then from 40/50 messages to one word. Does he have another lady - when she is around he cannot answer? Work very long hours? Medical condition that means he is unavailable? Sorry if you have covered these points before...

@iamthrough
I would need to snog him to know how I felt I think 😂

@Weallhavevalidopinions. No there’s no one else around. He’s not working but hes doing up his house. I don’t really know why the difference and that’s why I asked and got that he was uncertain about what he wanted. So I’ve left it with him and not heard from
Him so I think it’s defo over now.