Dating Thread 188 - Living and Loving in the Lockdown

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@paul20 Fabswingers is probably what you are looking for

Agree all this lockdown time is just massively about overthinking. Am usually busy but now glued to WhatsApp. Have been compulsively messaging loads of irons on various platforms just to keep occupied, but have to admit to myself it is just a distraction technique as am quite horribly over invested in Mr Beard and have no idea how to ride it out. Almost glad to be back in work on Monday though my concentration levels are zero! Can barely even watch TV any more!

Does Tinder and Bumble work or are they just rip offs and a waste of time.
And which is the best site to get laid after lockdown.

just try it and see.
Why do you keep asking?
No one knows (or cares) whether you will get laid after lockdown

@paul20 You do realise they aren’t mail order sites like amazon? They’re actual human beings with feelings on there.

What's wrong with my brain? The lady (haven't figured out a name and there is only one) started a conversation today and she was the last to speak. That's a first. I got excited initially, but I've left it for an hour and a half and I am kinda thinking I can't really be bothered to answer!!!! I think the reason is that I was kinda used to not chatting much and I am thinking if I reply, then I will be waiting forever for a reply, so I'd rather just leave it for the moment.

Does anybody else's investment levels seem to go over all over the place almost on an hourly basis? Or am I just neurotic?

@paul20

Just hire a prostitute and be done with it.

@shitwithsugaron thanks he has agreed to that do we ll see.
@paul20 with all respect it’s hardly the most important thing at the moment and there are ways and means if you get my drift

@MrDrummer I mainly don’t make much effort initially I guess as I have been messed around a lot I don’t tend to get too invested anymore . I think I have hardened up now probably due to my last relationship I would just go with the flow it’s not a normal tone for anyone at the moment.

@UtterSocks yes I can’t watch tv. @MrDrummer I think we are all just drained and anxious at the moment. If it was a normal time we could be out all day on a sat so you don’t need to reply right now.

@paul20 who were you having sex with before lockdown ?

Im filing my weekend with cooking very complicated meals. With a nap thrown in.

I just feel so annoyed with life after having a shit few years I’d sorted myself out financially, had lots of plans with family and friends and had met someone nice and now I’m wasting more of my life. But I can work from home and there’s a lot of people a lot worse off

@Jane1978xx that's exactly how I feel, that lockdown is wasting my time, makes me unreasonably cross if I give it too much headspace

@dancemom depending on the way I look at it I’ve wasted the last 2 or 15 years of my life 🤣🤦‍♀️. I won’t moan as I’m safe and secure but I am a little jel of those who have a partner they adore with them

@MrDrummer i wouldnt reply. Look at me, I always reply quickly and now I'm stuck hanging after revealing something extremely personal to my iron and him not responding. Don't be like me!!!!

All, do you have tinder read receipts on as an option? I never realised it was an option.

Thanks for the new thread @JeSuisPrest.

Hope everyone is doing ok. All ok here, other than I have realised that it’s perfectly ok to be with someone and not want to live with them! Mr Ad is missing his hometown (well, where he currently lives and has friends) and I am missing my own space and dating each other and looking forward to seeing each other and still having your own time in between. I feel like we’ve skipped a few years and I’m not ready for that permanently. Even the sex is starting to dwindle and I am NOT ready for that!

@Eesha I just checked and mine was automatically set. Never realised it was an option either.

Strange times for sure. I just unmatched 3 bumble irons. I have one who sent me a message last on Tuesday. But I can’t even be bothered to worry or wander. It’s hard to keep up a convo about this lockdown- and we haven’t met. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to chat and chat for 6 weeks and then meet up and there’s no spark. So we’ll see.

@Sunshineandflipflops . I feel you. I love my space. I don’t see how I can share it with anyone.

• left just the one. And I know he’s lied about his age. ( shaved off 5 years ).

If we do meet up and he doesn’t mention it... ? Does this happen a lot on OLD?

@myfabby my last iron had shaved 5 years off his age, I didn't know until 3 months in. It was a combination of that and a lot of other red flags that caused me to end it.

@Sunshineandflipflops I’m sorry to hear that. Could he move home for the second half of lockdown? I think it’s within the rules if he lives alone?

@TigerDater I think he’ll stay now for the duration but we had a chat earlier and both agreed that while it’s been nice, we are both happy to go back to how things were when things are relaxed. I don’t see that as a bad thing though as we never planned to live together.

When I say how things were, I mean a night in the week and EOW together. That’s enough for both of us.

Although he’s just cooked dinner AND washed up so maybe I’m being hasty...😂

This house is still half owned by my ex also and while he’s been fine about Mr Ad being here for lockdown, I think he’d have an issue with him staying here any longer and I wouldn’t blame him.

I'm going to catch up properly with the last 2 pages in a sec, but Skype "date" Update...
So Mr Vegan said he was going to order dinner, instead during his walk he had cooked dinner and left it on my doorstep (in Tupperware ready for me to reheat). Mr Vegan is a chef and it was amazing 🤤.
We then had a 4 hour Skype conversation where we also watched a film together. He dropped the L-bomb and I didn't handle it too well though and now I'm rethinking everything. I do really, really like him. The sex was mind blowing and I love talking to him and we have very similar personalities and interests but enough differences to keep us from clashing. I can see a future with him. But I'm also getting cold feet since he said that.

@cheesecakeaddict not sure if you have already said but how long have you been seeing Mr Vegan?

@Dancerinthemoonlight so we matched on tinder just after Christmas and since January we have been texting/skyping. We didn't actually meet up until a month before lockdown and only met face to face twice before lockdown. Every day since we have been texting if not skyping though... Sometimes twice per day.