Husband says I smell

[bluespirals]

I've been living in a miserable, almost sexless marriage devoid of intimacy for too long. I've got to the point where I blame myself, I think I must be unattractive and it's not just my husband who doesn't want me, no man would want to.

I could cope with no sex if the rest of the relationship was good, but he spends all his time on his computer and gaming. I believe he is impotent and has other health issues that cause a lack of libido, but he won't speak to the doctor about it despite it going on for about 3 years. When we would have sex he would get extremely tired very quickly and feel ill afterwards.

I do not ask or nag for sex, but I have brought it up as part of general discussions about our relationship. I've said I'm unhappy, it's making me depressed and I cant live like this for the rest of my life. That I would like him to seek medical help for whatever is stopping things. He always shouts at me and dismisses my feelings.

We have had sex twice this year but both times only a few minutes as he became tired and lost his erection.

Today I told him I don't think I can be with him anymore if he doesn't care about my feelings, I'm so miserable and would be happier alone. That I feel so unwanted and don't deserve to be in a miserable marriage like this, I'm not even 30. He then said he finds the smell from my vagina off putting during sex and I'm disgusting.

He's never mentioned this before so I don't know if he's saying it to be hurtful or if this is true. Yes there is a faint odour at certain points of the month but isn't that normal?

I just feel so unsexy and horrible

He's being a Cunt!
And it's that simple!

He's an arsehole

My vote is he is just saying it to deflect from his issues and blame you.

It’s him, not you

You are so young!
Be free and find someone who loves to have sex with you. You have a life time of feeling desired ahead of you!

Oh, and do his gentlemen's vegetables smell like a bed of roses?

Hes projecting. Hes embarrassed by his own issues which is why he's not challenging it at the doctors and so is projecting onto you.

He said it to humiliate you.

Could he be gay?

This is completely nothing to do with you.
I would bet on it.
You need to move on. There'd be no coming back from him saying something so rude to me.
No chance he is gay? Been using you as a cover because he is worried about being honest?

I also think he’s deflecting his problems on to you

Not even 30, leave this unhappy marriage. There is a while world out there for you. Do you have kids?

It sounds like he is just being hurtful to you to distract from what is really going on with him. Would he be willing to go to relationship counselling with you? Or you could get some support for yourself? Places like relate to web counselling these days

Wow. What a charmer.
It's not you, it's him deflecting his issues on to you. Please consider leaving him and not wasting another minute of your precious life with this awful man.

I'm not even 30.

Omigod, start planning the rest of your life. Seriously. It will be so much better than this.

Could he be gay? I know that is a cliche on here, but it is a possibility if he is so disgusted by your bits, and the fact he doesn't get an erection. Needless to say, whether he is gay or not, he is covering up his own issues and attacking you to deflect you.

All vaginas have a smell to them. It’s normal. Leave the rude git.

Please please please don't think any of this is your fault. He sounds cruel and nasty. You deserve to be happy and respected. You're far too young to let this carry on.

If you leave I promise one day you'll look back and realise how truly awful you're being treated.

You deserve to be happy and loved , the fact that you are not at the moment is a very good reason to question whether to leave your marriage, your husbands comment should cement this.
I’d bet my house that you don’t smell and he’s using this as an excuse for his own failings.

Wow he is absolutely disgusting.

I can guarantee you the problem isn’t you.

He’s impotent and trying to blame you.

Please get out of this toxic relationship and seek help with a counsellor or therapist.

What a horrible situation and man. Make the choice to want more for yourself. You deserve so much more than this bastard humiliating you.

I wondered that.
I have a gay friend
I was talking with another female and he just said he'd never seen a vagina and never wanted to.
Most ( heterosexual males) can't get enough viewing time.

What an absolute horror you have found yourself stuck with.

Tell him he can sling his hook.

That’s definitely not true, it’s a smoke screen to divert the attention from the fact that he is the problem.

I completely sympathise. My boyfriend brought up my smell during a counselling session and it made me feel very insecure. He admitted he'd avoided oral sex for 3 years because of it.

If he's not trying to be helpful e.g. suggesting you have an infection then it's very tactless.

It’s possible.

Some women have bacterial vaginosis and don’t realise it as they’ve become nose blind. It’s a very strong fishy smell.

I’ve had female friends and acquaintances have it and not even realise, one friend sadly smelled so awful that when she came into the bedroom I was staying in on a caravan holiday I had to open the window and hang my head out as soon as she left as it was so overpowering I was on the verge of throwing up. You can also smell it in public toilets sometimes when somebody has just walked out. It’s just awful.

Quite aside from the rest of your relationship I would see your doctor and ask for a swab to check for BV, thrush etc. He might be being mean to get at you but he might well be telling the truth after feeling scared to say something for a long time.