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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp constantly moans about my boobs

346 replies

Mumofthree1984 · 13/04/2020 16:05

Sorry for the rant but I'm so so so pissed off. Dp constantly moans about my boobs, yes they are quite big a 38 DD/E he hated me wearing balcony bras so I took him with me to get fitted in M&S into full cup bras (his choice) a pack of two padded and 2 lacey, he was ok with these at the time. My black padded one has somehow gone missing, I'm. Sure it's in the house somewhere but with 5 of us living here probably got mixed up somewhere. Any way he hates me wearing low cut tops, when I say low cut they aren't the type that my tits are literally hanging out, in fact u can't even see my cleavage just my chest. He says it's if I. Lean forward u can see done some of them. This is becoming very very very draining. I even ripped a bra off in an argument well actually 2 now, we were going up to the cemetary to visit my dads grave, all ready to leave and he starts, we'll that tops a bit revealing, i was so angry, it's not even showing anything! I ripped the top. Off anf the bra, so. Now I'm. Down to 1 bra yes 1, i refuse to buy anymore, I can't afford it, i said why don't we just cut my boobs off, that's the last option we have. I'm not wearing turtle necks all year, so. Now I'm sat in my pyjamas really annoyed whilst he is in my room. Going through all my tops! I've had enough seriously enough

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 13/04/2020 16:14

Wtaf? Why haven’t you kicked him out?

LouLouLoo · 13/04/2020 16:15

Alarming behaviour.

Has he always been like this?

zenasfuck · 13/04/2020 16:15

Why are you with him? This level of control will escalate. You are in an abusive relationship. Start making plans to get out of it

Tableclothing · 13/04/2020 16:15

Get him out of your wardrobe and as far out of your life as possible.

DamnShesaSexyChick · 13/04/2020 16:15

Yuck, you're actually trying to conceive with this freak

CtrlU · 13/04/2020 16:16

You said DP so I’m guessing you not married (not that it justifies his behaviour) but it does give you all the more reason to leave this arsehole before it gets too serious.

I’m not sure why you even let him have control over why bra’s you wear ?

Tell him to put up and shut up or sling his f*cking hook !

Parker231 · 13/04/2020 16:16

He doesn’t get to decide what you wear and what is and isn’t acceptable. Where whatever you want.

Never take him clothes shopping - go online and order some lovely bras which you like.

Likefootball · 13/04/2020 16:16

You should be the only one to decide what sort of bra you wear if any.
Your boobs your choice.

RandomMess · 13/04/2020 16:16

😳

Presumably he goes around looking at other women's tits all the time and therefore assumes every other man behaved like this.

Get rid, how dare he!!!

AnotherEmma · 13/04/2020 16:17

LTB
Controlling abusive shit of a man

Rewy · 13/04/2020 16:17

He’s a Pratt

Nothing2doooooo · 13/04/2020 16:17

Going through all your tops?! What the hell?

First of all, please stop ripping clothes and bras. Waste of money!

Secondly, he has a problem. Insecure about something or really doesn't like big breasts. Well tough! He married you and you have them. He has to work on it! I doubt you were flat chested when you met, were you? And even if you were, they've 'grown. Nothing you can do. He has to suck it up. (Pun both intended and not!)

He needs to come right out and say what the hell is his problem and you need to demand that from him! He's pestering you and harassing you about something natural to you. That's insane.

chickenyhead · 13/04/2020 16:17

the missing bra that he chose...is he secretly wearing it? Maybe boob envy Grin

Guiltypleasures001 · 13/04/2020 16:17

String him with the last bra

Mumofthree1984 · 13/04/2020 16:18

Its driving me nuts, and tbh this is the only thing we argue about, he has just brought down the very few tops I. Own and said yiur right u don't have many tops do u, urm no and I can't afford any more cause all my money goes on everyone else, I never ever buy myself anything, ive told him I will just love in my uniform and dressing gown, fuck him now, I'm. Not even going to cemetery now, ive told him he would rather I dress Mr tumble, he doesn't want me looking nice. I'm body and weight conscious as it is and it's really really making me ill,

OP posts:
Candyflosscookie · 13/04/2020 16:18

Controlling paranoid behaviour. One step away from turning into a fully abusive prick. Actually just rereading, and him checking your clothing ticks that box too. I agree with the PP who said it's about his "ownership" of you and your body. You need to LTB and I very very rarely say that on here. It will only get worse.

BumbleBeee69 · 13/04/2020 16:19

OMG OP... I can hear the despair in your post... 38DD is not overly massive it's quite standard .. and who the fuck made him boss of your figure... Confused

tell him to PISS OFF and you wear what ever you want.. and by the way I'll put money on HIM hiding your bras OP. Flowers

Kaykay066 · 13/04/2020 16:19

Why are you ripping off your bras? Unless it’s to wrap round his arsehole neck?
Literally no man will ever dictate to me what kind of bras I wear or what I wear if he doesn’t like it he can move on. You sound like you’ve got a decent chest as do I. Have you asked why he feels the need to be such a controlling arse? Why are you reacting by ripping items you need? I’d tell him calmly you will wear what you want when you want and if he doesn’t like it he can stay at home and pack.

drunkenflamingo2 · 13/04/2020 16:20

Get a copy of 'Living with the Dominator' by Pat Craven. Chances are the book will help you to spot lots of other abusive and controlling behaviour. In which case please leave as soon as you can because typically the behaviour becomes worse once you fall pregnant.

Irial · 13/04/2020 16:20

Oh love, you deserve so much more

Parker231 · 13/04/2020 16:21

Get dressed and visit the cemetery. He can stay at home but don’t let him ruin your visit to your fathers grave.

icelollycraving · 13/04/2020 16:21

Jesus, can you leave him? It’s not going to get better is it?
How long have you put up with this? Awful.

Mumofthree1984 · 13/04/2020 16:22

He has told. Me. Yes he doesn't want any men looking at them, not. Much I can do. Unless I walk around in a cardboard box

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 13/04/2020 16:22

He went bra shopping with you??
He’s deciding what’s appropriate??
Please get rid of him.
He’s clearly a sleaze himself and assumes every other man is like him.
Is it your house? do you have kids?

Wearywithteens · 13/04/2020 16:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.