Fallen in love with a married man

[Sosounhappy]

It was meant to be just sex but after 10 months i love him

No of course not 40Clock. A PP had said that the wannabe cheater should break up the family before they go off and shag, I'm saying I don't think that is a more 'decent' thing to do than just going off and shagging. Neither is what most 'decent' people regard as decent, but then these decent people are probably not in sexless marriages.

A spouse who is cheated on will obviously do what they think is appropriate for their family. I don't know where you got the idea I thought they were the villain. The villain of my own story was the fact that events happened which made my marriage sexless. We dealt with it in different ways.

Ahhh, so you think the DW has no right to know if her DH is sleeping with someone else so she can make a decision as to whether she is happy to continue in the marriage? I seriously can’t think that any wife if she knew her DP was being unfaithful would actually turn a blind eye and let him get on with it. Most women have more self worth than that, and those that don’t usually have very low self esteem brought about by being in a controlling abusive relationship. To suggest that a woman would only be decent if she remained in the marriage and allowed dh to sleep around doesn’t make you the smartest cookie in the jar - particularly as it would make DW vulnerable to stds. But I guess you have to come up with something to justify your skewed morals.

You've said you're not his first.... I wonder why his wife won't be intimate with him then, it's obvious she knows what he's been up to. As soon as his bit on the side gets too serious, he fucks them off and finds another "just sex" woman! He's a disrespectful twat OP and his CV does not read well.
He's made you feel like a hero because you're providing something his wife (apparently) won't - would you want to be tender and intimate with him if decided to be with you, but went off and shagged his wife every so often behind your back?

Of course she has s right to know, You’re wilfully misreading what I wrote livelove, you’re assuming every wife doesn’t know and you’re ignoring that when I was a DW I quite happily turned a blind eye - not because I have low self-esteem but because I have too much to let my plan for my family be derailed by the fact me and DH weren’t having sex and he was finding it elsewhere. It just really wasn’t that important to me. I know that’s a bit unusual but that’s my point: there is more than one possible narrative in these things.

Sosounhappy - I don’t understand how you can do this to another woman and you know he’s a lying piece of shit don’t you ? His wife will walk away with her self respect, you wont.

Are you a neighbour of him?

Keep believing his sexless marriage lies.

He lies to his wife, to you, to other women he’s having sex with.

Be mindful who you open your legs to next time.

but I think that breaking up a functioning family home is worse than sleeping with someone else while still married

The only person breaking up the family home is the one who is unfaithful.

If he is married his wife needs to know...My ex husband had an affair wish I had known.

Those were your words in January when the man you’d been seeing since May went off the radar. Posters surmised that he was married because he always came to your home and never stayed the night. You were suspicious. When he surfaced after several days, you were determined (after 8 months) to find out if he is indeed married. Obviously he is or perhaps this is a new man.

You are treating his wife the way your ex husband and his OW treated you.

I hope this poor woman finds out and you get what you deserve...SHAME ON YOU...how would you feel if this was your husband....I am disgusted to read what you have written...once a cheat always a cheat....his wife deserves more than him....nothing worse than a cheat or a liar...YOU ARE BOTH CHEATS AND LIARS....cheAting on his wife and lying to her and also to yourselves.....

soupdragon obviously in the ‘omg I’m sexually frustrated, everyone’s life has to go to shit’ Scenario it's the one being unfaithful who is breaking up the home, not the party who is not shagging around. But there are two parties to a sexless marriage, and it being sexless with one party shagging around does not necessarily mean the home has to break up. People have choices, parties to a marriage can be open and discuss things and find what works for them.

This is fake . 100%. People who post here usually have a backstory . Nothing here , just a couple of lines .
Obviously someone is a bit bored and wants a bit of attention / to wind up everyone else .
If on the 1% chance it’s real ,- you are NOTHING to him , other than a free prostitute .He doesn’t love you , or want you , if he did he’d be with you . You’ll get hurt , like his poor wife if she finds out . She won’t deserve it at all , you definitely do , in spades .

@Dontletitbeyou amen sister

This is real just trying to keep it unidentifiable. We met online dating. I did not know he was married to begin with but was suspicious. He has confirmed and discussed his marriage

End it. Do it today. Learn from it.

You either have self esteem issues where you are happy not to have the relationship that you deserve.

Or you are afraid of commitment and this type of relationship suits you as you can say well it didn't work out it's not my fault.

Normally two ways these end-
You get hurt as she finds out he stays or he just wants to stop

He does leave his family and you get together but you can't trust him or he cheats again.

Either way you get hurt

If he's OLD then I doubt you're the only one he's shagging around with

He bought me a valentine's present

You continued dating him when you found out he went OLD to find a mistress?!

Suggest not dating until such time as you have improved your self respect and raised your bar!

You're just on a wind up now

He bought me a valentine's present Total winde up with drips of info. OP if you're genuine stop being so bloody naive acting like you are a stupid person.

What would you like to know emerald

Im dream of the day the same thing happens to you

Already has user my ex cheated

If you met on line then tell his wife.
Send her a screen shot of his on line profile a long with screenshots of messages he has sent you.
He will probably delete you from his life as all this 'my wife doesn't understand me,' is bullshit.

If course most people would like to have their cake and eat it.
He is using you op. As someone up thread posted, a man to who sex is so important would not stay in a sexless marriage.