Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

My ex husband has asked if my daughter can stay with him for a week. Just in case he's not able to see her for a while after. He was a shit husband but is a great dad, so I'm happy for her to go.

But that means I've got a week by myself with nothing or no one for company. My sports have shut down. I work on my own anyway. And I don't have any irons, fwbs or similar to keep me amused. The evenings are going to seem very long and dull.

Meanwhile Mr FO suddenly reappeared today. He sent a message asking how I was. I had great pleasure telling him to FO! I think he's finally got the message. Hopefully.

Thirty I feel the same regarding sex, since splitting with ex husband 5 years ago I haven’t gone more than a month without sex 🤣, I feel I’m in my prime and now I have gone 5 months I am starting to worry that I will never have it again (I know I could have it this Sunday if I want). It could be the worst thing about this bloody virus. All those couples in self isolation will be getting loads 😢

@Jane1978xx

No I’m not back with him
We have stayed in touch though. I think this very funny and strange situation in the world has kind of made us value the people you can talk to? I don’t know

@menora I get you and especially if you can still get on. Wasn’t sure if I missed something

dollface I wouldn't even consider meeting a stranger in a pub right now. That's not social distancing.

No he's not a stranger ! I've known him 10 years lol he's jut some I been seeing for months. We only going to a quiet secluded pub anyways I'm wearing gloves and scarf etc over my mouth and I won't be long anyway x will b last time x

Love I'm working from home and have to log on at a certain time, plus have the kind of body clock that pings me awake between 5 and 6 am so I'm up 😂 I always wear make up and even more so now I'm on Zoom so much 😂😂😂 My local FB group has a personal trainer doing FB live workouts so I've been doing those. Still not seen anyone in real life since 6 pm yesterday .... Mr BC is now coming over 😃

@Jane1978xx
He’s actually been a good person to talk to. He’s been good to talk to about my DD not getting to do her exams as he’s quite practical, and he’s been getting a lot of fake news sent to him so he will often ask me if it is true etc (I get the real info from work 😂)

I told him I deleted my FB for my own sanity as it is horrendous right now with fake shit and endless whining on and making me feel worse. He also is now sick of it and thinks it’s making him feel depressed so he’s also taking a break

He can no longer go out to the pub all the time so he’s got way more time on his hands 😂

That’s just what we chat about mainly

I take it all back he has gone to the pub anyway 🙄

@Menora, careful. It sounds like he’s playing you I’m sorry. Hope you aren’t investing loads in him.

Am I just super needy ? Is it odd to expect irons to text especially given we are all stuck at home with less and less to do .. I’m very new to all this but both irons start off with you are so interesting to chat to then messages dwindle! I don’t Text first, I’m not talking about ex, politics etc. I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong ...

Mine doesn't all the time. But I know he has alot of his plate and so I'm trying not to be needy. I'd like to see him more. Once a week ain't quite doing it for me but his free time is limited so I gotta just put up with it for now I guess.

Anyone had their guy over ? Or going too ?

Yes dollface I'm still having my bf over. He is minimising his contact with others although he is still going to work. Not sure how long we can continue before being in lockdown.

@menora I hope he's not taking advantage of your good nature. He has always sounded a little immature.

@sunshineandflioflops it sounds like you are enjoying having Mr AD at yours. Is you ex being ok (you still jointly own house?)

myfabby just talk about the things that interest you (I agree not the ex). If that’s politics, fine. They’re supposed to be getting to know you, snd your interests, and you them. If messaging falls off, it’s because you’re not right for each other, so you can move on.

Hugs from the appropriate distance to all. Big ones. Especially to those on their own or struggling to cope with cooped up DC. ant are you ok, you said you had a temperature?

Bizarrely I am on holiday in a hostel in the mountains with my adult DC and their partners. They’re driving me crazy already but man, it’s beautiful here. If lockdown means I can’t get back, so be it 😂

@dollface19 no I'm not, he wasn't well, now I'm not well. I'd say another month before we see each other again. Still in contact but it's a different time at present and dating is low priority for me.

@Notcoolmum Well it was going fine but he has a bad back at the moment and is also stopping smoking (mostly due to cost and me not being that impressed with it) so he is like a bear with sore head. Hard to give him space when we are both wfh at the same table.

I told my ex that he was staying for a bit as it's pretty impossible for him to work form his own home and i don't want him to be really isolated and to my surprise, my ex said he was ok with hit and that it's good to have someone around (for me). He even brought us an office chair from his work to help our wfh situation. Mr Ad met him the other day too. He's really not a bad guy (just shit at being faithful) and times like this make me want as little drama as possible.

But anyway, if Mr Ad carries on like this, he will be going home at the weekend! Mt sympathy only stretched so far at this stressful time!

batshit glad you are seeing Mr BC. I live with my teenagers but they don't talk to me! Work is crazy busy but not sure how long it will be as my sector (education) is mainly closing down.

I'm still seeing Mr B. It's a strange thing as he is not my partner but after 9 months he's not a casual date either. We are important to each other and seeing each other matters to us. Not sure how long we can continue though.

Hi. Posting here rather than AIBU as you lot know me!

So, still with MrGardener, see him almost every day now his son has left school and he doesn't have to go home.

My STBXH moved abroad 18mths ago and visits sporadically to see our DS and his other kids. He stays here, I don't like it but it's still half his house so nothing I can do.

He planned a trip to the UK and still continued despite my protests. I told him to watch the news, turn back! But no, he came. Thankfully we have a caravan so I told him to self isolate for 2 weeks before he even thinks of visiting/staying here. Yesterday I get a msg to say that he was returning today, just 5 days after travelling by car through Europe to UK. I told him to not be a selfish git and stay away as agreed. He just doesn't get it. My Mum and MrG are in the category that should be self-isolating. They have both said that if he returns to my home then they will have no choice but to not see me for 2 weeks.

I'm sure you will understand that this is an awkward situation anyway, without coronavirus. My STBXH is now stranded in the UK, which I warned him would happen. He thinks he can just waltz back here, live off me, spread germs etc. I can vouch for my own sanitary care in order to protect my Mum and MrG but not my STBXH's!

AIBU to refuse him entry and what if anything can I do about it?

@TigerDater- thank you ! I hadn’t looked at it at as a test to see if we are compatible. Makes Absolute sense. I’ll be myself and remember that then being funny, flaky or withdrawn is not down to me.

@Notcoolmum - I feel the same about Mr N Not a casual date, not a "partner" but it's really tough not to be able to see each other right now.

We also really need to have a proper talk about where things are going, meeting children, the future. But this has made it hard to think straight.

I've been the most stupidest girl in the world !!

@dollface19 I hope you're ok.

I sure wish right about now that I hadnt blocked everyone and could get a bit of sexting action. Cold turkey girls.

Haha @supercali77 time to unblock. See who pops up? 😂

@jaggysplinter we have done the meeting kids etc. Def feels like we are in this together. Which is nice. So won't enjoy the enforced lockdown. Even though I understand it's necessary.

@toooldforthis67 not at all unreasonable but not sure joe you enforce it. Maybe send him the itv news report that in Italy no one over 60 is being put on a ventilator. That's pretty stark.