Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Is dating virtually on hold now or just messages for now? Very confusing with all of these social distancing guidelines. Meeting up with someone and being 2m apart at all times seems a bit weird when dating. Are people just knocking it on the head for a few months?

Morning all 😀 anyone seeing their FWB or BF tonight before lockdown tomorrow?? Xx

I wouldn't be dating anyone new but someone you have been seeing is up to you and having no symptoms

Mr Ad came to stay with us on monday when he was told to wfh as he can't work from his one room in his shared house, especially with a bad back. I also think living in a shared house is more risky at the moment as Mr Ad is clean but his housemates not so much.

No idea how long he'll be here but actually, it's quite nice to have the support and company. I might be saying differently in another week or two...!

My kids will be going between here and their dad's as normal but I've cancelled everything else.

Glad it's going well @sunshineandflioflops I think I'd quite like that but my kids not so much. Mr B stayed overnight one night this week and my DD very worried he was moving in.

I had been speaking to Mr Mobile for last 2 weeks and we had first date booked for drinks Friday. We've decided to meet for a walk on Saturday instead now...as for social distancing.... its going to be odd for a first date.... but so far no one we know has any sign of the virus so I think usual precautions would apply TBH, if I want to snog him I will and only gut instinct will tell me if thats appropriate. as for future dates if we get on..... who knows. We've agreed to play it by ear.
I already work from home - so when the kids aren't here I effectively ALWAYS virtually self isolate anyway - and all my other social activities have been cancelled. So I figure I'm already low risk in terms of mixing with people so meeting 1 person in the open air is as about as low risk as it can get.
I did have a 2nd "iron" who i met before all this kicked off - but he was all innuendo and suggestive talk so I think he was expecting things to get physical very soon - and regardless of Covid-19 i would of ended things with him anyway - and I was feeling very conflicted about speaking to 2 guys - so all hope snow hang on Mr Mobile for the foreseable future! Fingers crossed we get on!

I’m going to try and see Mr Ski on Sunday as long as we are not in lock down. I’m stressing about ex husband, he’s going through a mini breakdown and if we are out into lock down he will be confined to a B&B room as he has just split from his GF. I know he’s not my problem and I can’t think of anything worse than being stuck in lock down with him so I don’t feel I should offer for him to come here. He could help look after the DD’s but I think it would be more like me looking after a extra child.

@menora are you back with Mr M now ?

@lovemusic I saw my bf last night. There was a lot of sex last night and this morning . No idea when I’ll see him again now 😥. I’ll have dd all the time anyway

Jane that’s my issue, I have the DD’s now pretty much all the time, their dad usually has them Sunday but now he’s split with gf he has nowhere to take them and he shouldn’t be taking them out and about. He will have to look after them here and I can go and meet Mr Ski for maybe the last time for a while.

Well MrNNs employer have laid off all trainees, so that’s him out of work for the foreseeable he’ll be fine as I can support him. But we don’t know if this will delay his citizenship. Who knows when he’ll get to see any of his family, none of them live in the UK.

But what about those on their own, surely the new UC rules regarding number of children etc will be scrapped during this.

simon
The 2 child rule only applies if you have a 3rd (or more) child born after 6/4/17.

So if you have 6 children all born before this date you get money for every child.

Exceptions are twins/triplets, rape victims and people who are adopting/have guardianship over extended families children where the alternative would be the care system.

I'm working from home for 2 months (well that's what work are saying at the moment). I live alone. It's going to be very damaging to my mental health to be alone for so long. I'm absolutely sick of social media wittering on about how we can all spend lots of time with our families, playing board games and so on ... lots of people live alone I'm just sorting out Zoom chats with some friends so I can at least see some friendly faces.

Mr BC didn't call yesterday and said he was rethinking seeing me tonight. I might have had a slight meltdown over WA

@BatshitCrazyWoman if its any consolation, I feel the same despite 2 toddlers. The thought of being trapped in my home really heightens my anxiety levels! Hopefully Mr BC comes through for you. I haven't seen my FWB in a month now so think it will be a long while before we see each other again.

@BatshitCrazyWoman this is what people in families don't get. I said to my friend this morning I might not have a face to face adult conversation for months and she helpfully said that's not true as I'll be able to talk to exH when we do changeover.....

We will be so bloody isolated. I'm very scared about it. And my hobby venues are slowly shutting as they will so I'm worried for my mental health.

Those of us with children at home will at least have some company. I'm trying to see it as a chance to actually spend time with my DCs but clearly it's not going to be all board games and sing songs.

Financially I'm ok currently as I get a student loan. Whether my house sale falls through who knows.

@SimonJT that's very scary for mr NN. It must be awful being in exile. Luckily he's got you.

For those of you who won't be seeing your irons... sexting and phone sex is most enjoyable. Not the same without a post coital hug though.

It's all very surreal isnt it. I only really have two irons that I have met. mr mechanic I've seen lots but he doesnt know what he wants (so he says) so is more FWB. I'd said it wasnt my thing but might have had some flirty messages yesterday so might come in handy over lockdown haha. other iron mr local I met last week, haven't quite figured him out yet and he doesnt seem much of a texter.

I'm not looking forward to not being able to go out and date. also to chatting to new irons for long periods without meeting. I might try and call and vid call or something more to try and get to know them better or more true than thru messages. hope that makes sense.

also in general, if I cant visit my parents who live with my gran I'm not sure how I'll cope general. I'm already pretty lonely if I'm honest. vid calls etc will help I suppose.

I wish we do go on lockdown while I'm on a date so I could have someone to snuggle watching telly 😂 I'd have job explaining to my dd tho lol

oh one of my irons mr supermarket is a confirmed covid case. I wonder if that means I could see him when hes better without worrying about catching it or spreading it ( as hes already had it) lol.

I'm joking I'll be locked up in my house for the foreseeable I think 🙁

I have a feeling Mr Ad will be staying with us until most of this is over. If he goes home I'll not only not see him for God knows how long but his mental health will be significantly affected by living in one room for weeks on end.

The kids like him and they spend quite a lot of time with their dad (who is also wfh now too) so as long as he pays his way with food (what there is to get hold of!) then it's fine. I'll just be going out for more runs than usual but at least I can still do that!

@unambiguousbeard I'm sure you're delighted that you'll have your ex to chat to at handover 😂

Unless there is a total lock down where people cannot leave home at all. If you stay in 2 weeks and are symptoms free and a friend or relative does then in theory you can see them

Batshit I think many of us feel the same. My advice to anyone who feels there mental health my suffer is to make sure you get up the same time everyday, get dressed, do your make up, go for a walk (if you can) and have a routine which includes some fresh air and exercise. It so easy to just give up and veg out all day in front of Netflix and stuff your face with unhealthy food, once you get out of routine it’s hard to get back on track. Use social media to talk to people, phone your relatives (my mums calling me every day) and remember “this won’t last for ever”. We just need to make the best of a really shit situation.

I don’t think I will be dating after I see Mr ski on Sunday, it’s just going to be too tricky until this has all calmed down . I think it’s actually the longest I have gone without sex, almost 5 months and counting 🤣

No there's not a lot of point in dating we won't be able to meet anyone. In the plus side (?) everyone will be very keen when we do come out the other side. Apps will be overflowing... although I'll have to take new pics with all the weight I'll pile on not being able to exercise properly!

@BatshitCrazyWoman I feel the same and my friends who are in couples just don’t get it. I’ve been on my own for so long and there’s no realistic prospect of that changing for many more months now. I’m trying to focus on the positives - I have lots of hobbies I can do at home and have been Skyping friends every day - but the loneliness is already painful.

I haven’t had sex for 3 months. I have a high drive and ideally like to do it every day. I know it sounds dramatic but I feel like my youth is just wasting away.

I can’t believe just as I’m doing ok in the dating (and sex 😂) world we may be on lockdown!
I’m the same as many here, I’ll have my children but no one else. My ex hasn’t seen them for 10 days (not isolating, just an arse), hasn’t even asked if we’re ok. He can’t ask me because I had to block him and the police are involved, but he doesn’t even message his children. I’m quite scared of what’s to come with regard to this virus, having to deal with it alone.
I’ve got 3 irons too, and one is really local and looks promising but I can’t even meet him!

I was meant to hav my guy over to my house but I don't want him too so he's suggested a very quiet local pub that's still open 😱 for a few drinks !