Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Not sure how this has happened but the thing I have with the guy I met off Fab has reached 6 months today

Snap, sortingitout ! Well, 5.5 months, more or less. Officially, FWB status, as he is still living with his ex. Which situation wasn't predicted to change for possibly years, but there have certainly been some big upheavals over the last few days chez lui, so let's see.....

We are certainly having fits of smushy messaging...."You're so lovely...You're so loveable"....."So are you"....without actually mentioning those three words.

I don’t grow a new penis each time, I just wash it Quote of the day
Seeing as we're on the subject, what DOES everyone use to clean their sex toys?! Surely not household bleach- how could you be sure of washing it off thoroughly enough?!

Soap and water. Which as we all now know is the best way to remove germs 😂😷

Sorry.. why are you doing a sociAl right now??

Good point there, jaggy

People are self isolating and entertainment centres closed. I’m sorry but that sounds utterly selfish in this climate. My kids school is closing and there are clear outs on supermarket shelves. I think the need to get laid should, for once take a moderate back shelf.

I’m not ok. Haven’t had a boyfriend for years or sex for months, and now it looks like I won’t for a long time. I was chatting to a guy recently who seemed promising but refused to show me any social media accounts to verify his identity and turned it back on me, saying I have trust issues (which I do, due to shit like this happening over and over again). I feel like Miss Havisham while all my friends are at least with their partners at home. I’m so lonely.

To completely change the subject, my iron (ok, by now bf) has just used the L word. I'm really not in the same head space, and I've said that. Unfortunately all by message as we can't currently see each other because of isolation/distance/stuff. I feel better for having both said what we've been thinking. But in most people's experience is that basically it for the relationship? If one of you falls in love significantly before the other, can that ever work?

I’m sorry @Marlboroandmalbec34
I hope you are ok

I am still WFH with the dog on top of me and yes, probably very idiotically still talking to Mr M. I think we finding it hard to cut each other off completely as there is a kind of friendship lurking there and it wasn’t just shagging and attraction. I do care about him I also care about myself.

He seems brighter the last day and today but he did show me something he had found (work related) and honestly if I had found something like that I think I would be feeling depressed as well. It wasn’t very nice at all

Anxiety wise I have regained a little appetite but I now am in an IBS-D stage again (or I have something terribly wrong with me who knows and can’t see a doctor about it anyway) still waiting for my results, my DD lost her job yesterday and is also in a depression. I have lost a bit of weight.

@ThirtyAndASmidgen if he's refusing to show you then imo he has something to hide. That is nothing to do with trust issues, your request isn't unreasonable. There's probably a few posters on here who could give you some pointers how to find them without having to ask 😉

I won't be going out to any restaurants or pubs cinemas anytime soon!
People are still ok with having 'dates'in their house or meals in.. and sex what about kissing ? I know it's Close contact and it's not advised, but I've been kissing him a lot over the last few months and both of us no one else! We are both asthmatic but very mild and youngish .. we haven't had sex yet but it's been forever since my ex but I won't be anytime soon!
I think before long it's guna go into lockdown ! Hope everyone is having a nice day x

Apparently lock down will start Friday or Monday for 2 weeks. I’m going for 2 weeks of sex tonight 😂

Yeah I've heard a rumour lock down will be midnight Saturday, so it's clearly coming soon.
I'm in self isolation for 2 weeks now anyway as a high temperature and headache kicked in last night 🙄 Bored already and can't see my son 😔

I'm still not sure what lockdown means, can people still go for walks etc? Can we drive to stay with a relative if needs be?

@crackofdoom Just soap/shower gel, or put them in the dishwasher (just make sure you take them out before the cleaner arrives!).

@Jane1978xx We’re on day five of our 14 days of sex, although as it looks like he’s here for 12 weeks we really should commit and go for 12 weeks of daily sex. It is exercise afterall!

@Ant330 I agree. It’s not unreasonable at all. I’m fed up with being discarded by men when I make reasonable requests like this. I have a friend who works in IT and couldn’t find my date anywhere online either. There’s no way I could continue with someone in that situation unless they have a really good explanation (which he refused to give).

I’ve been seeing someone from a dating site for a few weeks. Met up about 5 times for drinks, food, etc and seems to be going well.
I’m happy not to chat to any new people as things are going well. I log on quickly most evenings though just to see if he’s online - and he is. I’m not sure what to do.
We text on and off all evening so I’m a bit unhappy he could be chatting to others at the same time.
Any thoughts?

@ThirtyAndASmidgen don't think of it as you being discarded, you're helping the unsuitables to discard themselves. Nothing wrong with that 😉

Thanks for the interesting replies regarding lingerie and toys. Of course it seems sensible just to re use. The thought had been put in my head about the lingerie because if you start wearing stuff you already clearly owned with a new partner you or they might be thinking about who else you wore this for.
And Mr Photography asked me to take over my toys yesterday which again made me feel a bit strange. He did comment as the dildo is white and he is black ! But we laughed and had some fun with it anyway

• I should add that the dildo had been bought by a previous partner so it has that connection for me. And the lingerie is not just nice knickers but items you would probably only wear for sex so again quite a fixed connection in my head. Just listening to all the updates about school closures and I think it is beginning to hit home life is going to be increasingly on hold for some considerable time

My child is in year 11
Taking GCSE’s. She is gutted a bit
Mr M has given her a laptop to use for study as the only one I have is my work one.
My other DD is off college and already half stir crazy
I’ve got to go to some big strategy meeting tomorrow (I work in primary care) as it’s all falling apart
Mr M is worried about his little kids
None of us can buy sanitary products, meat or bog roll

adds wine to online order

I always get new bedsheets if I have shagged a boyfriend in them a lot, and I meet a new boyfriend. But not pants

@enigma18 have you slept together? Personally I'd be pulling back/talking to others myself

marlbs ach mate! That is shit.....lockdown. some books. A glass of plonk and a virtual hug. His loss x

I feel horrendous today but not totally sure if it's the half bottle of red I sunk last night with a pal after being tee total for months or if I should be isolating. Will find out after a sleep tonight I guess. I dont know how/why people are going on dates. I had to go into work today but wont be tomorrow. High risk or not I dont want this thing, too much of a gamble and the stakes are too high

I don't know if I'm going to see Mr Army any time soon. Says he wants to see me but is busy, could be the truth but I have no idea.
Nothing to do with dating but I drove for the first time post wrist surgery today. Never felt so in control of a car. I'm still 100% pain free and movement is coming back. How I'm meant to have hand therapy over a phone call is going to be interesting

@enigma18 if he's online then I would assume he is still talking to, and probably meeting, others.

I don't have any previously used sex toys. But lingerie is reused. As are bed sheets.

The idea of a lockdown is feeling me with sadness. For lots of reasons. One of which is not seeing my bf for weeks. He has had some health news about one of his parents. We need human contact.

On the plus side I've just had a wine delivery 🍷

Wine has made me feel worse tonight