Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Ah, sorry @Marlboroandmalbec34. We have to give things one last go or we'll never know. A few of us have done the same (most with similar outcomes!)

So Mr Ad has moved in with me FOR A FEW DAYS as he can't easily work from home where he lives and is now required to. So far so fine but I don't think I can ever live with a man again long term!

I like my own space too much and I now appreciate the independence that was forced on me over two years ago.

We are also both now wfh so it will be a real test

Oof I’m sorry to hear your news marlboro 💐

sunshine good luck! Much as I adore Mr GN I am resisting the hints he has dropped re moving in temporarily. Partly because I don’t feel in these tricky times that he should be far away from his DC and elderly DP, but also because he is (yuk) a man and I don’t want one in my lovely calm home 😂

@UtterSocks glad you had fun! Feels good to get rid of the cobwebs, how are you today? Hopefully none of the post sex hormones you were worried about.

Marls doesn’t seem right to say welcome back! I’m sorry to hear things didn’t work but as said at least you now know.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 sorry things didn't work out, at least you gave it a real try though. That was important for you to see. Onwards and upwards.

@Eesha and @TigerDater He could do, but, it’s a minimum 12 weeks (due to who he lives with), and could easily be longer. It’s okay (I don’t mean to be a completely miserable bastard) and I’m enjoying having him around. But, not ideal due to only knowing each other eleven months and MiniSJT for five months.

He got to witness a full blown MiniSJT meltdown last night, someone had eaten the last oreos, he had eaten them!

Thanks everyone. Feel better for saying it. I haven’t told many people yet irl as everyone is self isolating at the min. I basically caught Mr Big in a lie last night and found out he has done some thing that I find quite disrespectful. Gutted as this time yesterday we were planning tonight’s dinner we were gonna cook together ☹️

simon bloody Oreos! Is MiniSJT obsessed with target as well? 😂

@Marlboroandmalbec34 so sorry

I'm in the office tomorrow to tidy up some bits and pieces then will be WFM. As I live alone I'm not looking forward to it (although I'll have departmental Zoom meetings so will see some friendly faces!). Mr BC will be coming over as usual.

Sorry to hear your news @Marlboroandmalbec34, that sounds shitty to say the least . At least you gave it a chance and you'll never have that nagging "what if" feeling.

I'm now WFH and plan on seeing MrC the usual amount - about 3 nights a week - we barely go out anyway because of our rural location, so we were boring farts and were staying in all the time before BoJo told us we had to do it . If Netflix goes down we'll be buggered. DD and I may well decamp to his next week (she's off school already and I can work anywhere I have a laptop) and take our supplies of 1 packet of spaghetti, 9 loo rolls, 2 tins of sardines, a jar of peanut butter, 3 bottles of bleach and a box of Maltesers with us. He'd be mad to turn us away I tell ya!

Marlboro

Crapsticks and wankstains, what a tosser, all that time invested, grrrrr!

Peanut butter, yay!

Morning just checking in.

Thing have escalated quickly this week haven't they?! Hope everyone is safe and well. I've been too busy with work and this chaos to think much about dating, have had a few chats on tinder but not really bothered at the moment and think most people are feeling the same about new irons.

I'm still chatting to Mr Finance since our Friday sleepover, he seems nice and often sends the first messages & asks questions but I don't know it just feels like the flirty stuff has died off a bit? He wasn't a sexter or anything but there was a bit of a spark and now it appears to have disappeared. Can't work out if he's just chatting to be nice which is what I suspect, or if he's just a bit bored...or if he does like me and I'm massively over analysing! But hey too much going on elsewhere to really worry about it which isn't a bad thing.

Not sure how this has happened but the thing I have with the guy I met off Fab has reached 6 months today.

Officially we have a flirtationship going on, in reality it's so much more but I'm definitely not bringing the subject up as I planned to never have a relationship again and I dont ever want to be hurt again and he knows I would run for the hills if he brought it up so we've reached stalemate.

We both agree what we have is amazingly fantastic and we're both really happy so really there is no need for labels and we'll just continue as we are.

Thanks everyone on this thread (and those who came and went) for all your love, support and advice - it's a great place to hang out

I'm really sorry to hear that MrBig has been a total arsehole @Marlboroandmalbec34. I hope you're doing ok.

I'm not sure anyone could resist those supplies @JeSuisPrest.

We've got MrSG's kids all week because his ex announced she had a cough and needed to self isolate (on Monday morning, after we'd had them all weekend). It's a bit of a logistical nightmare because now I can't do any school runs (since BoJo stuck me in the same category as the elderly) so he's got to do them all while trying to WFH in a pretty demanding job.

That said, his youngest (who I'm looking after during the day) has just now developed a bloody cough. So I think they'll be going to their mum's for a fortnight, while MrSG, DS2 and me all hole up here. DS2 has moderate asthma so that's an issue as well as the pregnancy. He's doing a school run right now, so I'm awaiting his response to my message. Gah.

@Marlboroandmalbec34
Sorry to hear things didnt work out with Mr Big, you gave it a really good go and hopefully you wont have any regrets.

Remember you are the prize and you deserve the best.

@DisasterousManagementPlan
Sounds a nightmare for you all, I hope Mr SG agrees with your plan and you all get through this without too much ill health.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 so sorry to hear that. Never a good time but I think now just feels very isolating for us all.

I went to see my iron last night. We hadn't seen each other in about 2 weeks. It was lovely and so nice to have human contact! I've now returned home and hope I'll see him again soon. I didnt realise how much I missed being around someone til I saw him.

Daily life is already beginning to feel very different. I hope everyone is doing okay and no one is worrying excessively about someone close to them.
Saw Mr Photography last night and we had some lovely sex. Nice to be intimate with someone when other parts of life are making you feel a bit isolated or vulnerable. I won't be seeing Mr Cocky for a while he has cold like symptoms and once my DDs are here 24/7 he won't come round. I have 2 other local irons ( met both of them previously ) so I will see how things go.
Slightly random question - how do people feel about ' recycling ' sexy lingerie and toys with new partners ? Hope that doesn't sound too 'eurgh'.

@onesmallstep lingerie is fine it’s just clothes . Toys I guess it depends what it is , if it’s for you fine I guess

Lingerie, probably yes unless it's something you've actually worn during sex (eg crotchless panties etc) or he's come on.

Sex toys, no. I wouldn't. But I guess there's a scale, as in butt plugs (yuck, no, never) to bullet vibe (that's just for you, really, so maybe ok).

Do some people really throw underwear away if they’ve worn it with someone else?! Just shove it in the washing machine.

Same with toys, I don’t grow a new penis each time, I just wash it, and surely a toy can be washed more thoroughly e.g bleach or stick it in the dishwasher.

Some of us are probably just a bit germ phobic and clean freaks! I include myself in that category.

Thanks you all for the support. Bad timing as to get over it I need people and wine 😂

Hope everyone is ok! disasterous worked out who you are. Gosh that sounds hard:l. Hope all is well with the pregnancy

Lol at @SimonJT glad someone came along with a bit of sense!! Though I did throw out a whole lot of sex stuff after stbxh moved out I just didn’t want the memories/associations!

A friend gave me a good talking to about what exactly I’m getting from mr scenery and was very clear it’s not normal to not be flirty moving towards having sex or having sex at this point, she is of course right so when he said datings on hold for a while and no mention of video dating or calling I’m good with that!
But I now have a social with mr old this evening, I’m of the opinion I’m not in an at risk category, neither is he, we’re both still well, the kids are in school so a much higher risk of infection, and I want to support local business as they need it, they’ve rearranged their seating to promote social distancing and mr old has said he’s respecting a 1m exclusion zone!! I’m so over invested in him but in a healthy way I hope, I’ve really missed his texts and now he’s back he just makes me laugh so much as well as he’s just so nice!