Feel like husband doesn't care

[Chickencuddle]

Feel like his priorities are football and sex and then the kids and everything else and then me at the bottom. I know I sound like a spoiled brat. But I dont need much. Just feel like he doesnt care about me.
For example I have been very poorly recently ended up in a and e and still feeling very ill on the way home from A and E he grabbed my hand and made me touch his boner. I was like why have you got a boner now. He was just like "can you sort it out for me."
The kids were asleep in the back but could have woken up at any minute. I said no u felt awful and anyway the kids are in the back and it's not right to do hat when they are there.
He was all aww you could just Bob your head down or use your hand and be discreet.
Etc.
I was talking seriously the other day about going back to work to help with Bill's etc. Maybe doing a short course to get back into work. He wasnt really listening and then just said
Aye well you dont have to sell your body in the meantime.
I was like what? As if I would ever do that and I just feel like that's all he thinks I'm good for.
Asked him to watch the kids for an hour the other day because I was feeling so ill I thought I might pass out and he just complained about not being able to watch football.
The only time he hugs me or is nice to me is if he wants something.
Everything is a sexual innuendo and always dry humping me. I just feel like a piece of meat someti.es and just wish he would back off. Let me get better and be caring.
Am I being a brat or what?

I can make a phone call I get 2 hours once a week while waiting for one of my children to do one of their hobbies. He takes the other kids this day while I wait. That's really the only time I get. I'll try and phone. I've tried to phone before when he was doing all the stuff 3 years ago but I wasnt brave enough to actually tell them once I'd phoned. It's hard to say it out loud. Much easier to write. What a wimp huh?
What if I'm wasting their time? Will they get angry if it's not abuse and I'm holding up the phone for someone in danger. I'm not in danger.

Ok, then we're agreed that you've going to use that time to make a call to your local domestic abuse organisation.

Put your post code or area into the link I gave you above and check that there is local help available please. If not I'll direct you on who to contact. Please don't post on here where you are. I would it for you but don't want you to let anyone know where you are.

Please check and let me know if there are organisations near you.

Thank you I'm sorry I'll check tomorrow and let you know husband coming now

OK. I'll wait to hear from you OP. You're doing really well.

Just wanted to tell you that you are worth so much more than this OP. Sounds as if you have been told you are worthless all your life. It's not easy to change that way of thinking - please don't feel that you are stupid or wasting people's time if you need to think things through, or if you are scared of a future without him. Step by step.
Please keep posting. Apply for that teaching assistant course, keep seeing your friends and maybe confiding in them.
Do hope you have the strength to make that first phone call and then the courage to speak to someone in person. Take care.

He doesnt love you OP. Can you imagine treating someone you loved the way he treats you? Telling them they're average, they'll never be anything special.

You deserve to be loved wholeheartedly. Your children love you. You could meet someone in the future who treats you like an equal. Who doesnt constantly touch you sexually while you're trying to get on with things in the house.

I saw that meme you mentioned and it made me feel sick. I had an ex who would forcefully kiss me when I didnt want to be kissed. He would touch and grope if he got the chance and he would dry hump at every opportunity. The last time we had sex I was crying because I didnt want it, he knew I was crying but he wanted sex so he got it. It took a really long time to realise that was coercive. It doesnt have to be screaming and kicking to be rape - it's the absence of yes. I broke up with him the day after - I know it was easier for me because we weren't married and there were no kids involved.

The first time I had sex with my now fiance I cried and he stopped to check if I was ok - I was crying because I had never been touched so gently by a man before. We stopped and he just cuddled me all night - on our third date!

There are good men out there OP and you could have the same thing in the future. And even if you end up alone, the freedom of knowing you wont be mauled constantly, forced to think of his dick, forced to touch him - that freedom is amazing

Lefkosia I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm glad you have a happy ending. Well done for being strong. Unlike me. But maybe if I was crying my husband would have stopped but I didnt cry only when he couldn't see me. Not in front of him.

I'm awake because my baby woke to feed and my little girl woke needing medicine and crying. I was feeding the baby and cuddling dd. Husband wakes up and I told him she needed medicine and could he go get it. He moaned and got out of bed. 4 mins later no sign. I shot him and ask if he has medicine. He doesnt answer. Shout again. He gets says "for glass sake was trying to sleep"he had gone to dds bed to sleep away from the noise. He did get up and get the medicine. But seriously.
When he came to Belfast night I knew he would want sex the mod he was in. He tried it on and I said sorry I'm still not feeling too good and it's late I'm tired and need sleep before baby wakes. He kept going on and on. Trying to persuade me must have said no at least 12 times. Hes groping me the while time. Then he got up and I thought that was it. Next minute hes on me naked and then brings his dick up to my face. Waving it in my face I turned NY head and (sorry for description) he kept slapping his dick on my face.
I was like what are you doing. Get off I've told you I'm tired. He did it a few more times laughing then got off. But he just thinks it's a joke and funny.

Anyway now I'm up I've checked the link. The freedom project there are none in my area
The domestic abuse help there is a refuge an hour away and an LGBT number but I think that's it unless I'm doing it wrong? We are very rural. I bet if we lived in a city there would be loads.

He slapped his dick in your face. My god Chicken you poor thing.

I want to kill this piece of shit

OP if he demands sex acts when the kids are present, that is a child protection issue. That is abusive towards his kids. SS would take action were they to find out. This is SERIOUS. One comment they make at school or nursery and you will be FORCED to deal with this, so however difficult, you need to feal with this now. Immediately.

deal

And...big hugs, you sound fab and life holds better things than this abuser

Omg. Him groping you when you've said no is sexual assault by itself. Then hit yin g you in the face with his dick is one of the worst things I've heard on here.
Please leave this man. This is heartbreaking to read.

turnandfacethenamechange
I'll be your alibi.
DH will too.

The children were not present fizzy unless you mean from my first post. But then they were asleep?
It didnt hurt. It's more annoying and just leave me alone type thing. He thinks hes being funny.
I'm shocked when people react to things like this. Also he may think I dont mind because I'm not really reacting much just laying there. He may think u find it funny. I just cba with the fall out if I make it an issue. We have had conversations about stuff like this before and I always end up feeling like hes fun and I'm not and any normal person would like it and then hes grumpy etc I've told him before please if I say no. Listen the first time. We argued about it but I persisted and he eventually said ok. But it never lasts and we must have had at least 10 of those conversations. What's the point anymore.
I am seeing though that I think I need to leave. Just because being around him sometimes feel uneasy or worried and tense and it ahouldnt be like that.
Just the kids I worry about

Quite simply... yuk

He's treating you like a piece of meat

He is revolting. He is a bully. When you object it is not because you are “boring”, what he is doing is horrible.

He's grim OP. Stop making excuses for him 🤮

Oh my god. He's absolutely vile. No one NO ONE would find his behaviour towards you acceptable.

If you are married you have rights regarding his money and the house as the law sees to it that an ex husband Supports his children.

You are being abused by him, no question.

Honestly OP I'd go to the police and report him for sexual assault if you can't see any other way out.
If the man can't take no for an answer and thinks it's ok to behave like he did last night he deserves to be reported.

And this morning came into bed after sleeping in dds bed due to dd getting up.
First thing jumps me with his boner. Then takes my hand and puts it on his boner. (A the while I'm talking to him about normal things and make it clear each time I'm not interested)
Then I said I'm starving better get up for breakfast he pushes my head down under the covers as far as he can towards his dick. I come up and I'm like...seriously? Can you just stop. He was just like "you said you were hungry?"
I'm sure this would be fone in a normal relationship but he will keep this up morning and night until I give in because I'm just so tired of it.

I've just read on more & can see that you can see what he's doing. I'm so sorry for you.

That is revolting, Chickencuddle. The man has no respect and no restraint.

I dont want to get him done for abuse I dont want to ruin his life. If I leave I dont want anyone to know he was abusing me.
When I was younger and abused it went to court and there wasnt enough evidence it was a horrible time I felt like people didnt believe me and I'm not going through that again.
Who would believe me and theres no evidence? Sometimes I wish he would hit me so I had evidence and something solid to go on. This feels like a grey area.

This is awful op. You need to get away from this abuse as soon as possible for the sake of yourself and your children. You are repeating the abusive childhood you had for your children.

This man does not care for you, he just enjoys abusing you. Please get some help from some of the links posted above.

and I hope you get away soon.