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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel like husband doesn't care

990 replies

Chickencuddle · 03/03/2020 12:22

Feel like his priorities are football and sex and then the kids and everything else and then me at the bottom. I know I sound like a spoiled brat. But I dont need much. Just feel like he doesnt care about me.
For example I have been very poorly recently ended up in a and e and still feeling very ill on the way home from A and E he grabbed my hand and made me touch his boner. I was like why have you got a boner now. He was just like "can you sort it out for me."
The kids were asleep in the back but could have woken up at any minute. I said no u felt awful and anyway the kids are in the back and it's not right to do hat when they are there.
He was all aww you could just Bob your head down or use your hand and be discreet.
Etc.
I was talking seriously the other day about going back to work to help with Bill's etc. Maybe doing a short course to get back into work. He wasnt really listening and then just said
Aye well you dont have to sell your body in the meantime.
I was like what? As if I would ever do that and I just feel like that's all he thinks I'm good for.
Asked him to watch the kids for an hour the other day because I was feeling so ill I thought I might pass out and he just complained about not being able to watch football.
The only time he hugs me or is nice to me is if he wants something.
Everything is a sexual innuendo and always dry humping me. I just feel like a piece of meat someti.es and just wish he would back off. Let me get better and be caring.
Am I being a brat or what?

OP posts:
BoucleEponine · 03/03/2020 20:24

They will have so many people who love them on my side it's just me and i cant give them anything like that. Which do you think they will prefer

Their mum. I'd put money on it.

ruby2019missyou · 03/03/2020 20:38

Is this for real?

Chickencuddle · 03/03/2020 21:08

? Yes it's for real.

OP posts:
ruby2019missyou · 03/03/2020 21:16

@Chickencuddle I am so sorry. He doesn’t deserve you.

Isthisit22 · 03/03/2020 21:42

You husband has raped and sexually assaulted you many times. What would you tell a friend or your daughter to do?

Completely understandably you no longer want to have sex with your husband. That alone means your relationship is dead.

Maybe if you think about it like that you can stop doubting yourself. You need to make plans to leave before he escalates back to raping you again. You already said he is becoming less nice recently.

Abusers are often most dangerous when women are leaving so please be careful. Don't worry about your children. They will be happy with you anywhere. They will see through their dad's veneer of charm and you will always be the mum who truly loves and takes care of them

Dogladyxo · 03/03/2020 22:18

You just keep saying the same things over and over again. Please re read everything we've been saying - even in your previous post.

Chickencuddle · 03/03/2020 22:37

I'm sorry dog lady I'm just trying to make sense of everything in my own head and figure things out. I wont say anything unless asked now.

OP posts:
Livandme · 03/03/2020 22:59

Up the thread you said he rings you all the time when not together. You know this is controlling behaviour. It's massively unhealthy.
I'm worried for you and your dc. Please reach out

RickOShay · 03/03/2020 23:12

You are NOT a big fat nothing, who has nothing.
You are everything to your children, you are their world. They love you.
You are worthy of that love.
I think it’s a terrifying thought, but you would be so much happier out of your relationship.
Flowers

Splitsunrise · 03/03/2020 23:13

@Dogladyxo Don’t be a dick, this is a hell of a lot for OP to process

CalleighDoodle · 03/03/2020 23:22

Op say what you want if i helps you understand it. It doesnt matter if you repeat yourself.

You do everything at home atm. So what makes you think he would be arsed to do all those activities and holidays with the children anyway?

The bottom line for me would be i wouldn't want my children in a house day in day out with a rapist.

FlowerArranger · 03/03/2020 23:47

The bottom line for me would be i wouldn't want my children in a house day in day out with a rapist.

THIS. And @Chickencuddle... don't try to make yourself believe that your children don't pick up on the abuse. They may not understand about the rapes and the groping and dry humping and the outrageous sexual demands, but they feel your horrible unease and desperation. This is not jusy an unhealthy environment in which to raise children, it is downright toxic and will ultimately damage them for life.

Yes, this IS how serious this is. You MUST act to extricate yourself and your children from this toxic mess. I realise this is a huge undertaking, and it isn't somnething that can be achieved overnight, but can you try to get yourself in the right mindset and start planning?

Start by calling Women's Aid and doing the Freedom Programme.

Greta1985 · 03/03/2020 23:49
  1. you don’t owe him anything.
  2. your children will thank you for leaving him.
  3. if you stay with him and later on one of your children discloses to a teacher about this, they will call social services. It takes a few references for police to come round to the house, but any reports will be on record.
  4. be a positive and strong female role model to your children by leaving him.
  5. even without him doing any of this, you still would have a right to leave him if you’re not happy because you are a human being just like everybody else.
  6. imagine loving yourself! You can do this if you leave him I promise it’ll be a million times easier without him.
PickAChew · 03/03/2020 23:57

He is continuing your previous life. Just a different flavour of it.

Chickencuddle · 04/03/2020 14:29

Sometimes I feel like when I talk about my friends he just bashes them and is negative. He knew i was seeing friends today and rang to ask about it. Was kind of off and when I told him about something my friend had suggested to do with house he was just straight away like.. no. that would look awful. Absolutely not. I dont know why but he was just straight away like no that's an awful idea.
I spoke about another friend and he was putting her down.
Last night he came home from work late I only saw him for 2 minutes before bed but he gave me a kiss and I felt like maybe I'm being silly and I wanted to hug him and be near him. I felt like I would miss him if we were ever apart.
Then conversations like the one just now it's hard to pinpoint anything wrong but just makes me feel a little bit strange and like I know I wont want to be around him in this mood.
I dont know it's hard to explain and I'm so conflicted.

OP posts:
Chickencuddle · 04/03/2020 14:59

And he just phoned asking about a piece of furniture. I said it feels firm not wobbly. He was like. Firm like my dick. Rock hard like my cock?
Erm yes....
Like just everything is sex and I have my baby and I'm in a rush I dont know what he wants me to say but again maybe I'm a prude some people may like that

OP posts:
TheDailyCarbuncle · 04/03/2020 15:29

It doesn't matter if some people may like that.

You don't like it. And you matter.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 04/03/2020 15:33

It sounds like you were taught by other abusive people in your life that you're not worth much. He's been nicer to you than they were so you think that's all you deserve. The fact is, you deserve more than a sexually abusive rapist and your children deserve more than to live with a sexually abusive father.

Something in you knows that, that's why you're asking these questions. You must look at your children and think how lovely they are and how you'd do anything for them. You were just like them once, deserving of the absolute best, and you still are. By denying yourself even basic respect and safety you are also denying them. They need a mother who can demonstrate what it's like to be worthy, what an adult with good self respect and boundaries looks like.

Here comes the harsh bit. You are a mother and you don't have the option of thinking you're nothing. You are everything to your children, and you don't have a choice about that. So act like it.

Comtesse · 04/03/2020 15:43

Oh OP. He does not have a good heart. He is a horrible pig. I know you don’t want to hurt your children but you spending your life with this lowlife doesn’t seem right, you count too you know. I think your previous abuse has blinded you to what is going on here. Asking for sex on the way back from a&e with kids in the car is off-the-charts awful. You are worth more than this - every woman is worth more than this. Flowers

Pollaidh · 04/03/2020 16:08

He and your family before have destroyed your self confidence and eroded your boundaries. Because nobody deserves this, so I know, as does everyone else on here, that whatever you think of yourself, you do not deserve to be treated like this.

You said you wouldn't get a chance to even call legal help without him noticing. That immediately shows he is controlling. In a healthy relationship you would be able to go off for appointments, phone calls, and the other partner wouldn't know unless you told them.

Trying to persuade you into sexual contact on your way home from A&E is atrocious, children there or not. I too came out of A&E a couple of weeks ago, and sex was the last thing on DH's mind, even now he's waiting for me to make the first move, if he thinks of it at all. A decent husband would care most about your health and well-being.

You say you don't want/deserve his money in a divorce, and yet it sounds like you've given up your chances of a career in order to have his children. Therefore you deserve to have an appropriate share of the house, savings etc. He's obviously trained you over the years to think of your contribution to the family as being negligible, whilst he poses as the big provider. You've been at home bringing up his children. You deserve recognition and recompense for that, because it will be difficult to get back in the workforce after, and taking time out does damage your career.

It's going to be hard to recognise that you've gone from one abusive situation to another, because it sounds like you've never experienced a healthy relationship. But there are decent men out there, the majority do not act like this.

Chickencuddle · 04/03/2020 20:47

I guess I just think he isnt like that anymore.
It would break his and kids hearts
What he is doig now while not caring or loving isnt classes as abusive.
I just feel he doesnt care about me his priorities are sex football himself then kids then me.
Sorry shot message need to go

OP posts:
PickAChew · 04/03/2020 21:47

Even the worst abusers stop for breath, sometimes.

Tough shit if you do decide you've had enough and his poor ickle heart is broken. It's not like he gives a lot of thought to your feelings when he makes constant sexual comments and unwanted approaches, is it?

Your kids would get over the change in living arrangements and it's likely that life would be better for them.

Chickencuddle · 04/03/2020 22:10

But what of it's worse. And what I'll still have to have contact with him and the kids.
It would break my heart too. Even though sometimes I dont want to be around him. Tonight is one of those nights so grumpy and snappy and cant do anything right.
But we have been together a long time hes a good daddy. And sometimes he does care about me and love me.
I don't have any money. Like none how would I pay for a house get furniture. a car. Pay for the kids hobbies they do already. How would I even do any of it.
I've looked at a few of the links but most of them end up saying to speak to someone. I have no time alone away from kids to do anything. Theres so much info I cant take it all in. I just feel really panicky and just not sure I'm sorry I know people are rolling their eyes at me and thinking how stupid and horrible I am. It's hard when i feel like i cant be without him and it's the worst thing for the kids then next minute i read these messages and think i need to leave and just keep going back and forth.

OP posts:
Chickencuddle · 04/03/2020 22:13

I'm angry at myself for getting into this mess before we got married and had kids I remember crying to him about comments he was making how other girls were prettier than me and how I was just average but low maintenance. Etc
Felt he didnt care as much about me.
Treated me like shit to begin with eont go into detail but I should have known it wasnt going to be a happy ending. How was I so stupid.

OP posts:
12345kbm · 04/03/2020 22:16

OP you do need to get out of this relationship.

Out of everything you've been advised to do, I want you to contact your local domestic violence organisation for advice and support. Will you do that please?

You've been given the link up thread. If you're going to make a phone call, and don't tell me you can't make a phone call, then that's the one to make. You can ask them any questions you have and they should have information on the kind of resources available to you locally.

Deep breaths OP. You need to do this or you are going to be here posting again in a month, again in three months, this time next year and it's never going to get better. Do you understand that? This relationship is abusive and it's never going to get better.

Will you do that please OP.

We can take it from there but that's what you need to do. If they tell you that you're not in an abusive relationship and to stay where you are, then there's no harm done. It's a simple phone call.

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