Dumped by text ( part 2)

[RunningInRain]

Hi, it’s been suggested I start a new thread as last one nearly full.
My previous name was user1471427667 and in the early hours of one morning nearly 6 weeks ago, my seemingly wonderful boyfriend of two years sent me this text message:
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best.”
I was completely blindsided at being dumped when there seemed to be no reason, but mostly at the cold, dismissive way he did it. The words “no need to reply” were particularly cruel. I started a thread on here and was overwhelmed by the support. It’s no exaggeration to say, I was on the floor crying a lot of the first few days (and a few since) .
Even though I was, at first, desperate to talk to him, I didn’t. I knew there could be no ‘good’ outcome of me contacting him. It’s now been 6 weeks and he has sent a few messages - nothing substantial and no apology.
I’m slowly feeling stronger, helped by my friends, this thread, my new found love of running, especially in storms (hence my new name) and by choosing everyday not to reply to him.
I’m not over him yet, so hopefully this thread will continue to help me keep on the right path and help others going through something similar.
Can hear the rain lashing against my windows so I’m off for a run!

Hi OP, I’ve followed your thread since the beginning and have to say you are being amazing! So strong and dignified.

I’m glad you started a thread 2 as I don’t think you’ve heard the last of him yet. I think he’ll turn up on your doorstep next.

Oh @PrussianBlueVelvet, I just want to hug you and hug you!

I’m so glad you’re through this.
And @RunningInRain will get there too!

Gilbert. That was fab. So tempted to send it to my exMIL and copy in her entire family

Aah I remember your original thread, I didn’t realise you were updating it!

Op you sound like you are doing amazing! You really are. Well done to you.

Thanks @ RogueV . There’s probably not a lot more to say really. But will update if anything happens, or to let you know if I ever get my Tesco car park moment! Right now, that seems a million miles away and I’d happily settle for a day without this churned up feeling inside.
Xxx

Hi op. I don't understand people who do this. I can only imagine these people are just so selfish and self centred they don't give two hoots about anyone else.
My brother was in a relationship for 12 years. They got married in may 2018, I got married in Nov 2018 with her as my bridesmaid as we were also very close. She flew back to the country she was working in the day after my wedding and then messaged my brother to say she didn't think she wanted to be married to him anymore. She then ignored all his calls and texts. He flew out to try and speak to her, she stayed at her work, left him standing in the cold, wouldn't give him a reason why she was doing this.
She hasn't spoken to me ever since I messaged her when I was on my honeymoon asking what was going on as my brother was so upset and she said "nothing, all ok enjoy your honeymoon"....
I am grieving for our friendship, she was like a sister to me and my brother is suicidal because he is in so much shock. Even if she wanted to end it she did in such a callous way. It's been absolutely horrific. It's affected the whole family and my brothers life has been completely turned upside down.
I just cannot believe her. I did some detective work and found the guy she's been dating and I'm 100% sure she was having an affair. So was he by the looks of it...a wide and two young kids...looks like they are separated now too. So two families lives ruined. :(

Forgot to say...you are doing so well! Be strong x

Thanks GilbertMarkham, that's my earworm for the next week sorted out!

I think if you were to read this as an independent person you would be like this person is ace! So keep remembering that you are ace

Ah great news! I commented on your thread as I still regret texting my ex after a similar situation to yours (and still cringe about it years afterwards).

You are an inspiration! I even, for a split second, considered if I should start running lol

I got a weird sort of vicarious sense of satisfaction from learning that HE texted YOU, after his downright patronising 'no need to reply' shyte. It was obviously messing with his head that his little double-bluff 'no need to reply' had had the opposite effect (in that he obviously thought you would!)

Onwards and upwards! The world is your oyster 👍🏼

OMG Horehound... that is awful 😱

how is your poor brother now ... that just appalling behaviour

@BumbleBeee69 I know, it's really shocking and awful if her. He's really up and down. He has started counselling and has been told he has separation anxiety, he calls my mum every morning, calls me fairly often for support. It's obviously a lot to take in and try and understand but of course, none of us can understand it. Honestly we loved her and I thought she loved us.
So, so horrible.

Hi OP,
I’ve followed your story from the beginning. You are awesome! Keep on running in the rain!

MzHz, thanks, that's sweet.

People's feelings change, love is a fragile thing. Hearing someone say that they do not love us any more is painful, but it is better than being disrespected in this way.

RunningInRain has given a masterclass on how to rise above a spineless and callous humanoid!

Oh I know what it’s like in the dark, been there too, but under different circumstances. I’m so thrilled you’re happier now @Prussian.

I agree, the strength and tenacity our beloved @RunningInRain has shown is absolutely awe inspiring

I know the thread has kept her (and others) strong, and although the Tesco car park moment may never come, just knowing it came for others is satisfying enough I’m sure.

I'm recalling when the first love of my life ring me up out of the blue and told me it wasn't going to work as he couldn't love me like I loved him. I was totally heartbroken.

I always hoped he would change his mind but I went into cold hard mode.

He owed me some money and said he'd had some expenses and could he pay me back in a couple of months. I wrote back, no, I don't want to hear from you at all in a couple of months, your financial affairs are none of my concern, give me the money back now.

He then eventually sent me the money back with a note saying I hear you've gone AWOL. I had been on holiday in the USA. I ignored him.

He then sent me a 30th birthday card, signed with love. I tore it up and sent it back in the post.

I like to think of him puzzled as to why I didn't try to get him to change his mind. I just thought if he does, he knows where I am.

I still secretly he'd turn up on Valentines Day but he never did.

Secretly hoped!

I think yours is the blueprint for self control OP!

Running you've done so well. Sorry to hear all the other stories too. Some strong people here 💪

I had similar, wasn't half as serious, he just ghosted me, I met my now DH a few weeks later. He started texting again. My BF (as he was then) woke me one night to say I had a bad dream and who the fuck was Kevin? (Shit) Bacon, I said, Kevin Bacon. 13 years on/4 kids later and he still says oh there's Orchids/Mammy's pal Kevin Bacon ffs. I'll take that one to my grave

I hope someone lovely is banging their head off your new headboard soon

Hi OP, i followed your last thread rooting for you. You are such an inspiration

Tbh to him, morrisey, if I sent someone a card and they sent it back torn up, I wouldn't be turning up at their door on Valentines Day even if I did change my mind.

But you were right to keep up the silence. Who want to be with someone who isn't sure if they love you or not...

I look back now and wonder at myself @sonjadog, but valentines day was only a month after we broke up , the birthday card came 6 months later, just about when I was moving on too. It was kind of cruel. I cried buckets and then just thought, you fucker, tore it up and sent it back.

@RunningInRain keep doing what you’re doing! Such a healthy way to deal with your heartbreak. My heart went out to you when I read your first thread. That text was so incredibly cold. I’m full of admiration for you xx

Ah, I see now. I read it as birthday came first and then Valentines Day. Yeah, he was just messing with your head sending you the card. You were well rid of him.

Happy weekend OP, hope you get some good running weather.