Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Yes I think I said something similar Tiger or just "Hello Match".
Like hairy if I matched with somebody I already knew I liked the look of them as I wouldn't swipe if I didn't. Their greeting therefore wasn't that important. Although "Hi sexy" was as off putting to me as other posters have mentioned.

I always wait for them to contact me. Usually it's just a hey.

My Iron seems to being drifting away which is a shame he did reply yesterday but I just dont feel like he is interested. I'm going to see if he suggests to meet up again. If he does I'll have the where is this going talk I think. It's been a month of seding each other once or twice a week so.

I have date 2 with Mr Ski, I’m going to his and then we are going for walk along the beach, he’s just given me his postcode so I google mapped and I’m a bit disappointed that he doesn’t live in a huge posh house 😂, now I feel a bit better about where I live.

@Dazedandconfused10 sorry about your iron. My iron is messaging but no mention STILL of plans to see again, and I'm too stubborn and not putting myself out there again to ask. I think the best thing is just to leave them to it. If they aren't interested then let them go....

@lovemusic33 - good news about Mr Ski.....at least there wasn't the huge difference in lifestyle that you were worried about.

He passed! Some of his questions seemed equally as weird as mine when I had to do it. So one step closer to citizenship.

We’re going out for food to celebrate, but we can’t do out until ready steady cook is over because he fancies the chef in the red kitchen (I also think Rylan is darker skinned than I am ).

As I’m feeling generous I’ve told him we can do valentines tomorrow when MiniSJT is at school.

Promise I’ll catch up properly!

@bangheadhere40 thanks. I think we could end up as good friends potentially if it doesn't work out and I still dont know If i even want a relationship i just want attention we get on really well too.

@shitwithsugaron no I'm not pushing for another date. I was hoping he would have arranged or at least let me know by now if he can't make it.

I'm going to cut if off after this weekend ( the messaging) if nothing sorted. I've given him the benefit of the doubt because he may be seeing his son this weekend. That's fine, I would just like to be told!

Banghead,I would cut it off now. He is either selfish and self absorbed or extremely laid back and any of these will just leave you frustrated.
Why wait for him to decide if he wants to see you. All it does is make you excited when you receive a txt hoping he will make plans.
I'm so done with men like this.
Your next message should say lovely to meet you but you're not for me,but I wish you well.

I agree with kerkyra - take the initiative and get rid bang, this guy is stringing you along IMHO.

@simonJT that’s good news a relief I’m sure.
@bangheadhere40 sounds like your being very sensible.

Mr rugby ghosted me this morning, just as I was about to drive 40 mins to meet him!! Some men!! But I’m actually relieved, my heart really wasn’t in it.
Date with mr scenery this evening, and I’m really looking forward to it, messaging this week has gotten a bit deeper and he was teasing me last night about something, and it really made me laugh, but also that he almost immediately asked if he’d gone too far! Bit nervous as I’ve a friend watching the kids as he couldn’t do the night they were at stbxhs, my youngest has woken up before with a sitter and refused to stop crying so I’ve had to come home, I’d be gutted if that happened! I’m so excited about kissing him again!
Still chatting to mr dateable, good advice about not getting over invested if he’s said distance is an issue! All good at the moment.

@kekrya it's definitely the laid back option!

Would you explain why or not bother?

I currently don't have a firm date 3 arranged with Mr Army but he already told me on Tuesday that his free time for the rest of this week and going into next week is very limited. Communication between us is still at the same level so I'm a lot more relaxed than I was yesterday about it.
I know that if he is right for me then it will happen and I'm going to enjoy the early dating process for once

I just dont think this man will bring anything positive to your life bang. It shouldnt be so stressful. It seems he is just messaging with no intent so I'd send the message. To be honest I doubt he will question it but if he did,just say you've been thinking and have made your decision.
It will feel like a weight has been lifted and you can move on.

I sent the same message to a bloke the other day and he came back with ' ahh ok,but if you change your mind you know where I am'. It was the bloke in the farmer cap where I work who messages sporadically and loves to chat but never asked about me or got a date sorted.
We are worth more!

Great news SimonJT. Have a great celebration meal later.

Dancer, he sounds a goodun and you seem sensible. It's so exciting in the early days and hard not to get carried away.

Have a lovely date love music and the beach sounds very romantic! My village is slap bang in the middle of the country,I'm two hours from the sea if I go east,south or west!

All the parents with kids with additional needs,its tough and we are all doing a great job. Even with out additional needs,parenting is bloody hard,so we should all be proud of doing our best.

Cat in the hat,great update with all your dates,but just checking miss hair knows you're out looking whilst sleeping together. I suppose if you're just dating it's fine and no chat about being exclusive. Just be sure not to lead her on!
Though if she is so busy then she may not want a relationship anyway.

Shit,do you feel ready to get back on the usual apps? Or take a bit of time out.

Hoping perfect pretender is ok

Hello all.
@bangheadhere40 I'm really sorry that sounds like he's being a total dick. I agree with the others about binning him but it's so hard to put into practice.
@SimonJT congratulations I'm really happy for you both x
Everyone feeling down I hope stuff picks up. .
I'm off out on date 9? with Mr P tonight. It's our weekly date but then wont see him again till next week. His childfree weekend the following week he is going on a pre booked boys thing so I'm secretly gutted but not saying!
He is lovely though. We message every day through out the day and talk in the evening. I'm still holding my breath waiting for something to go wrong.
I still think it'll be the logistics of a fairly long distance relationship and the fact he and I have our kids that will do it.
But I'm trying really hard to enjoy it.

On a lighter note. I'm still struggling terribly with bikini line stubble rash !!! I'm using a mens expensive razor, a new blade everytime etc but it just looks awful. It's getting embarrassing.
No idea what to do

He just messaged me saying his son is over this weekend, which is fine...so it will be next weekend he comes to mine he has said 🤔

If I'm 100% honest now I'm not arsed anyway and am going to not bother.

As awful and ridiculous as it sounds I'm more into Mr Not Straight ( which I'm aware is am awful prospect) but I can't help the way I feel. It's terrible, he's not interested, seriously, I can't get why I'm more interested in someone I've met once and not slept with than someone I've slept with a fair few times....it's ridiculous!!!!!!!

Anyway, I'm not going to see Mr Dumfries again as I'm not into it.

I'm going to tell him ( if I can) that it's not really viable due to that we can't see eachother much. I don't know if I will have the balls but will try.🤔

I'm going to probably get back on the apps shortly. At least I know what I want to feel for someone.

Bang doesn't really matter as you've decided not to bother with him, but are the weekends he has his son always decided so late in the week? Seems strange unless it's a relatively new arrangement.

God this thread moves quickly. Mental day at work and now I've completely lost track. Good luck everyone with dates planned. Lots of hugs to those who are feeling down and I promise I'll keep a close eye on actual posts tomorrow .
So I had a date planned with Mr seems nice but is probably weird
(Aka Mr SNBIPW....I really need to work on these names ) but after a great date sunday (2nd date) and a week of nice but not too much contact (perfect amount for me) he has said one thing that has pissed me off. I'm so like this. They say one thing and I'm like...no thanks mate. I instantly loose interest. My last proper relationship was with a physco and I've worked so hard on me and my life since I just have a 0% tolerance for any sign of fuckery. I think the problem (but not a problem) is that I just dont need anyone now. I'd like someone but I dont need them. I'm completely self sufficient, emotionally and financially so I'm so adverse to risking that for anything other than what I want. God that makes me sound like hard work, but does anyone get what i mean.

I was hoping for a bit of a nice evening with him. Not necessarily sex but a nice evening. Now I'm thinking do I even want to meet him. Ffs maybe I'll cancel and just go out with the girls and drink tequila instead

@ant330 I don't know as I haven't known him that long. I know though that I'm not even bothered really...whatever kind of attitude!

He's not for me anyway.

@ant330 thought you told me to tag with proper usernames 😉 you aren't

@bangheadhere40 you can use the at symbol which tags someone and sends a notification. Or you can use the asterisk on both side of the name which holds it, but doesn't tag ant bang