Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@tigerdater I'm going to have lunch and then have a nap because I'm really feeling the lack of sleep. I tested the WhatsApp blocked thing with my brother because Mr Army doesn't have read receipts and last time online showing. He couldn't see my profile picture when I blocked him so as I'm still seeing Mr Army's profile picture he probably isn't connected to the internet. I know he hardly got any sleep last night because he was up early for work this morning. I really like him, communication if just so easy. He is like the best part of every man I have dated or been in a relationship rolled into 1. Still don't know why he swiped right on me because he is chilzled, 6 pack etc and I'm a little fluffier than I used to be after comfort eating after the last 2 operations. Yet none of my insecurities seemed to matter last night

I doubt he would have sent me this message when he got back to base if he was just going to block me so I will try and keep occupied and not check my phone every few minutes

I will stop with the updates now. It's been delivered phew I can stop worrying.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I am loving your updates, so nice to hear a relatively straightforward story amongst all the weirdos.

I am in awe of you all for putting yourselves out there, it takes guts. I'm not there yet but am following and silently wishing you all find lovely partners.

@rediswhereitsat thank you. It's never been this straightforward for me before. I have dated manipulative liers, cheats etc. Pretty much every date until the first date with Mr Army was rubbish. In previous relationships and dates I have been made to feel so awquard for asking questions and yet whatever I ask he will answer honestly or at least as much as he can in regards to his job - he is in the army hence the name Mr Army. It's funny to think that I almost didn't swipe right on him because of similarities with my ex, that he is my height and my age. I usually go for at least 3+ inches taller and 3+ years older. Maybe that's the secret is that we have more to talk about because I'm 5 months older than him so have gone through the same things at the same time. Even though it was only our second date last night, it's just like he gets me.

From my first relationship ending after 8 years it took me a year and a half to feel ready to date so take as much time as you need.

@Dancerinthemoonlight it's been well over a decade significantly more slightly over a year and a half since my last relationship. But only since Christmas have I felt lonely. I developed a ridiculous crush on someone I barely know, who has since moved away, and the chances of bumping into him are seriously slim, we have no friends in common. But reading all these posts here, I know I am definitely not ready for online dating.

@shitwithsugaron how can you find someone you're interested in so quickly? My bar must be way way too high! Not really found anyone I even want to message much in over 6 months!

@dancerinthemoolight - please let us know what he replies, hoping you get a reply soon!

@bangheadhere40 it's MissH 😉 or should I say was. She messaged me on Monday for 1st time in almost a week, but we just did the how are you, good weekend... She avoided the elephant in the room and as I said I'd give her space to decide I wasn't going to bring it up. But I think the lack of mention means that ship has sailed.
Tbf the minimal contact has allowed me just to get on with life and start moving on, which is good.

@bangheadhere40 I will but I'm not expecting one until later as he's working and told me yesterday that he has just been given some more responsibility within his team. We usually text more in the evenings because he can't really use his phone during the day. I'm understanding that he is busy and he knows that when my surgeon clears me to go back to work that I'm going to be busy aswell

@Dancerinthemoonlight a lovely update!

@unambiguousbeard what kind of men do you swipe on? I always get the impression you are very cool and arty and seek those types. Nothing wrong with having high standards, I never meet anyone these days personally and I don't think I'm that fussy!

@shitwithsugaron what's a social? Is it a date?

@bangheadhere40 he's replied. He was in a 4 hour briefing and struggling to stay awake.

I really don't know why I let anxiety get the best if me at times

@shitwithsugaron ah ok, i wondered why they even call it a social then! Fingers crossed for you.

@bangheadhere40 he also said he had no regrets about being up all night (last night was definitely for my pleasure) I had no idea foreplay/sex could last so long, previous partners have been done in 5 maybe 10 minutes tops. I really have been missing out. I then tested the waters saying that I had no regrets either and that I'm happy and excited to see more of him and where things go between us. He replied with Definitely and 100 emoji. So all signs at the moment are looking good.
Why I have made myself feel so crap this morning worrying about his response is completely beyond me. I know 2 dates is far to early in to have the exclusive talk and I don't want to scare him off by being too eager because he doesn't do relationships so it's completely new to him. Previously he has only done FB and FWB situations

Mine replied late last night saying he def didn’t want serious but wasn’t sure about dating other people 🤷‍♀️That’s fine mate, I am! He seems shocked I’m not willing to still sleep with him! Men are weird.

@Dancerinthemoonlight - it's an anxious time so don't be hard on yourself. I'm the same entirely, we have been intimate with someone, and obviously want reassurance that they care. It's completely normal, well to me anyway. His reply sounds positive as well.

@shitwithsugaron hehe that makes it pretty clear. I've always wondered about FAB but my best male friend says it would eat me alive so not to bother

Not sure if anyone remembers Mr Not Straight ( well I went on about him so much).

After 4 week's of hearing zilch from him, after I ignored the random stupid messages he used to send and 8 weeks of not seeing him he 'popped' up again today, on email. A long email about how he is improving his 'situation', feels in a 'better place' and without actually asking to meet, saying about us getting together when things improve.

I was a bit perplexed to her from him, but have been reading about these men that vanish, pop up, rinse repeat etc. Basically it's just to test the water to see if I can still give him an ego boost and to test if I'm keen.

I politely replied, not mentioning any of the 'suggestions' and left it at that. You couldn't make this up though. I felt like laying into him, but that would just show he had hurt me before....and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so was polite, but short with my reply.

Mr Dumfries has messaged today, but no mention of the weekend, or meeting up as yet, so if nothing is planned soon I am going to make other plans.

@bangheadhere40 being really anxious to hear from him today completely threw me as I haven't felt like this after being intimate with someone before