He just slapped my arm

[LadyLush11]

Been together 15 yrs. Three kids. Had up and downs but last few months he has slowly become more aggressive. Never hit me before or was aggressive. We play fight a lot but it’s just that. Messing about.
Few months ago he went to hit me with brush but stop himself. Another time he picked up a baking tray to hit me with it. He never actually did it.
This is how it started today. How petty it is. There were 3 cans of coke in the fridge, one I had left open which he had taken. So I opened a new one which for some reason he then took off me and said I couldn’t have it. So I went and got the last one out and thought screw you im having this then. When he saw this he then chased me around the table (I was laughing at this point of how stupid it was) he caught up with me and then slapped me so hard across my arm you could see his hand mark and it’s still red now. The anger on his face was crazy. Over a can of Coke. I’m shocked and furious. I don’t know what to do.

@LadyLush11
Im glad he has made something clear but I can tell you don't feel the same.
I think it's best you have a think about it to my love. At least things have been said in the open.

No she isn't. I'm the poster from the other day and I absolutely support what Yellowpaper has said.

I think I was unfairly deleted for putting a valid point of view.

and p.s. to the above I did NOT support DV.

@LadyLush11 It sounds like you are feeling really hurt. I am really sorry.
That said, please, please try to be strategic. It would be awful to see you hurt financially and/or with custody. Your meeting with the lawyer on Monday should help you to understand your next step.

having just re-read original post I backtrack a bit on my remarks. I based them on a one off smack on the arm but the fact that he threatened her first with two other objects does change the picture a bit.

I think Lush's partner has been cheating or wanting to cheat for some time and this argument/play/fight (call it what you will) allowed his anger towards her to show itself in violence. Cheating men have a tendency to be angry and resentful towards their partner because a trusting partner makes them feel ashamed and guilty for what they are doing. Cheating women on the other hand, tend to be nicer to their partners, because they feel so guilty about what they are doing to their trusting OH.

Massive, massive generalisation I know, but I read this somewhere and have seen it again and again play out the same.

My exH was controlling and abusive and I knew what was happening when he got nastier than usual.

@yellowallpaper
Listen stop posting on here because you ain't making things better. That is what happened to you. Doesn't mean he was cheating or whatever.

You have experienced that. Maybe if you read OP's post again maybe you will realise that...
Wow you are so ignorant. Why don't you message and ask how OP is and give reasonable advice. Kmt

the only reasonable advice I would give is to ask this awful man to leave. there is no other advice possible.

@ladylush11

How are you?

Update: I went to the solicitor and had a talk about what I would be entitled to and my rights. We had a long chat and he explained he was stressed with work and all over the place. We would work on sorting things out. Things had been going great until today. My son poo’d on the sofa and he’s a been a nightmare all day, I was feeling totally overwhelmed and told him off for doing it. My partner comes marching over to me all aggressive and having a go at me, I told him to shut up because he didn’t know what had happened and he slapped me around the shoulder. What a stupid woman I am. Once someone crosses that line and they get away with it they do it again. I’m just going to start packing our things and go to my mums. When I started crying he said “if i wanted to punch you in the face I would have, it was only a flick” I’ve taken pictures again for evidence for the police.
Thanks for being so patience and kind. I just stupidly thought it was a one off in 15 years.

So sorry OP. You’re doing the right thing getting away from him. 💐

Report to Police ASAP on 101! Dont hide his bullshit. He knew from last time lashing out wasnt okay. Teach him its NEVER acceptable because you bet your bum he would never hit his boss or work mates!

I'm glad you've spotted this for what it was. Beware of the hoovering and the 'I can change' bullshit when he finds out you are serious. He will miss his domestic slave/punchbag not a human being.

So sorry @LadyLush11. You are right, it is important to get out of that situation and take ds with you. There is lots of information about how he will behave now, more experienced pp will advise.

Do report to police. He should face consequences. There is no hiding from professionals knowing this behaviour. In future you may need this evidence
Good luck, do get support in rl or on MN 💐

Good luck but wise up and call the police. You get one crack at this with authorities and do not be one of those women who cannot decide what to do.

Be decisive. It will get you away from this bastard.

Please do head for your mum's OP. It's great that you're not going to stand for it. Please let us know how everything goes xxx

Well done OP you're doing the right thing 100% leaving that scum bag

You're doing the right thing getting out. Good luck

Please update us on you going to your mums Hun xxx

So he’s already escalating and even said that he would have punched you if he had wanted too

You are doing the right thing. Please don’t get sucked back in with his false promises.

Remember he’ll be following the script.

If someone hits you it means they don't like you.
If someone hits you it means they never need to be in the wrong or lose an argument again.
Leaving him is the only thing to do under these circumstances, and I wish you luck.