He just slapped my arm

[LadyLush11]

Been together 15 yrs. Three kids. Had up and downs but last few months he has slowly become more aggressive. Never hit me before or was aggressive. We play fight a lot but it’s just that. Messing about.
Few months ago he went to hit me with brush but stop himself. Another time he picked up a baking tray to hit me with it. He never actually did it.
This is how it started today. How petty it is. There were 3 cans of coke in the fridge, one I had left open which he had taken. So I opened a new one which for some reason he then took off me and said I couldn’t have it. So I went and got the last one out and thought screw you im having this then. When he saw this he then chased me around the table (I was laughing at this point of how stupid it was) he caught up with me and then slapped me so hard across my arm you could see his hand mark and it’s still red now. The anger on his face was crazy. Over a can of Coke. I’m shocked and furious. I don’t know what to do.

@pusspuss9
I think you need to read OP thread again. You have clearly missed the point. "They were play fighting or do play fight" he slapped OPs arm over a can of coke. If you can't read properly then not post anything.

They were not play fighting. He hit her in anger over a can of coke.

Please stop derailing the thread pusspuss9 .

Ladylush I hope that you and the children are safe. Strength to you to get through this. He won't get suddenly better and see the the light.
There is always great advice here and support, just step over the dodgy replies.

Be kind to yourself.

JKSCOT4 That is a shit statement to make for someone who has been assaulted by her husband

Can we focus on the OP people!

@LadyLush11 are you ok?

Has anyone heard from @LadyLush11

How are you doing op? Have you made an appointment with your solicitor?

My ex started off with just wee slaps and kicks and then it escalated very quickly into punches, strangling etc. I hope you leave him as it will turn into that and he could very well kill you and some men even kill their children too. Please don’t let this happen to you, you are worth so much more.

@LadyLush11

Hey hun how are you?

Thanks everyone. Everything has been calm, trying to keep it this way for the kids. Secret appointment on Monday now as he has worked from home last couple of days. Still no apology. He tried to initiate sex tonight to my amazement. Reminded him of previous events and he stormed off. Blows my mind.

@LadyLush11
Yes Hun you keep it that way.
Just avoid him for now until you have this appointment and see what comes out of it.
I'm glad you have been ok and kids are well.

Yes, @LadyLush11.

Stop having fun that a randomer on the internet thinks is childish, or you’ll get yourself hit.

Nice bit of victim blaming there.

@OhCaptain Not victim blaming at all. Just advising the OP that 'fighting' on any level isn't an adult thing to do. Do you do it? I don't and neither do most adults with children. Teenagers maybe, but adults? Maybe you actually need to learn what victim blaming actually is?

Advice is just that. OP has discovered that 'play fighting' has escalated to DV, so maybe it's a lesson to learn going forward? OP has had a previous DV issue, so learning what is an adult way to behave and where boundaries lie would be a useful skill.

Play fighting blurs those boundaries. People manage to laugh and joke with each other without accepting someone threatening to hit them with objects.

Call it victim blaming because you can't tell the difference, between that and advice if you like, but millions of adults don't play fight either. (And I don't believe millions of adults do either). The OP was ok with it? Even when she was threatened with solid objects on two occasions?

Play fighting is incredibly immature and personally my 6 year old would find it quite frightening to see mummy and daddy wrestling on the ground fighting (play or otherwise). I just don't believe violence is anything to do with a loving relationship, play or otherwise.

@yellowallpaper
Clearly you don't know how to have fun. Adults Play fighting is not a problem. It does not lead to to physical abuse like you say.
When 2 adults play fight with child is that not allowed.
That's no advice to a lady who has had been physically abused(no play fighting).
Maybe you should of kept that opinion to yourself. There is no problem with adults play fighting

@yellowallpaper
To to clarify I play fight with my partner. You will defo know when it's violence and not play fighting.
@OhCaptain I'm with you on your comment.

Thanks guy for your support.
We are both at home today and he’s told me that he doesn’t know what love is anymore. He says he feels empty and he doesn’t like me and he doesn’t love me. When I ask him what he wants to do about it he says he doesn’t know. I’ve told him I think we should split up then. He didn’t respond and now he’s cleaning.

Well that’s clear at least OP - now don’t leave the power in his hands. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what to do, the only thing that matters is that you do - the relationship is over. As you said to him.

Whether he’s blanking you/doing passive-aggressive cleaning/whatever, you need to think practically. About where you’ll live, about what you need to do. All the practical things. Take care of yourself and keep things in order. Focus on that - you cannot get anything of value out of him anymore, he’s a closed shop and even when open will only sell you painful crap.

What does that even mean??

Don’t let him play these stupid games @LadyLush11. Tell him you want him out!

I’m sorry he’s done this to you.

@yellowallpaper
To be honest you are missing the point.
Clearly you didn't read OP thread properly.