But why WOULD you get married? Its just a bit of paper, surely?

[fillyjonk]

Why does a day out in a frou frou frock and a bit of paper mean so much to people?

For me what is important is the
relationship, which is what you work at day to day.

I know there are some legal/financial implications to not getting married, though some of these CAN be overcome, and others are overplayed. But anyway, I am not getting the impression that they are a big deal for most people.

Am curious here, no criticism meant...

Clumsymum -

DP and I are as committed to other as any married couple. As I said much earlier in the thread, I would quite like to be married, so I am not 'denying the advantages' of marriage. I'm just not very comfortable with formal ceremonies, and as I said in my last post, even a tiny wedding with two witnesses would still be a 'ceremony'. Hey - maybe I'll get over it one day and we'll actually get round to getting married.

It's not the expense, either - I'd happily pay money to do it by post

Ma and my Dp are getting marreid when we are older!....

We have survived the early years with our 8 children....now.. and for quite a while yet we will have stresses of the teenage years ...if we survive this together we are going to congratulate ourselves with getting married when we travel the world!...

I am not a big 'marraige' believer, to some people it means a lot, which is great.

We are happy with the things the way they are at the moment.
I will do it when i am ready.

my spelling/typing is atrocious tonight!

Message withdrawn

Ok so it's a Co of E thing - I wasn't quite sure about Catholics. It's still discriminatory - if you marry in a C of E church (and someone else can, I'm sure, fill in the gaps with regard to Methodist, Presbyterian, Jesus Army and the rest) you just sign the book but everyone else has to book a registrar.
I'd personally be in favour of the legal formalities (at the town hall, say) being mandatory for everyone, then have the ceremony you like, where you like. Or none at all.

After all, quite a lot of people like to mark any major event with some sort of ritual, be it going out for a meal when you pass your exams or opening a bottle of something nice when you finally exchange contracts on the house.

Just a little thing here, but the Church of Scotland DOES actually exist, and it's just and legal as the Church of England, thank you.

DH and I got married because we got to the point in our relation we wanted to.

I stay at home and look after DS 4 days a week because it was better finacially for DH to stay full time.

We both clean (DH can't cook but can heat something up if its his turn . I do more because I'm at home more.

I work in the "wedding industry" as some one above put it. Seen the sixteen year olds that eveyone says won't last, seen the summer saturday wedding with oodles of guests and the full works, seen the old couple who were seperated during the war and married other people, only to meet each other again after being windowed, seen the special dispensation couple where one of them has days left to live. To all those people, marriage (not just the wedding) is important and the day is a lovely memory.

If it's just a piece of paper to you, don't get married; just don't whine about all the others who do.

It's because the CofE is the established church. And you don't just sign the book. You have to have your banns read, which is I suppose the equivalent of having your intention to marry notice or whatever it is posted at the registry office. There are still legal formalities, no matter where you marry.

I did not think marriage was important and was quite happy co-habiting. However, DH really did want to be married and I agreed. I couldn't see a future without him so if getting married was so important to him and would make him happy - why not?
I am so so glad I did though and I have realised that marriage is so much more than a piece of paper. Saying my vows was one of the most emotional moments of my life and afterwards I felt a warm glow around me which has now settled into me. Day to day it seems no different to be married but on the inside it feels wonderful to know I am joined legally and spiritually with the man I love.

Paolosgirl: oh, the Scots are waaaay ahead of the English - humanist weddings are fully legal in Scotland.

Officials do not ask you why you are getting married, yet when you want to be unmarried (divorced) they demand reasons. It is much easier to get married than it is to get divorced - I think it costs less too.

I attended a humanist wedding in Scotland in March.

Lovely day!

I got maried in June and to be honest I wasn't that interested in the whole shabang. The wedding really meant nothing to me apart from it being a fantastic evening spent with all our family and close friends at our expense! We also had our ds christened at the same time, which meant the world to me. However my dh did want to wed and as I intend spending the rest of my life with him and was happy to make that commitment I agreed to it. I can't honestly say it has changed my life in any way, I never even changed my name, but I do feel my dh is a bit more settled so on the whole I am glad we made the decision and took the plunge.

Does everyone who's not married to their DP have their wills done, life insurance and know for sure they wouldn't become homeless if their DP died tomorrow?
Just checking, I do worry about people.