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Original poster

But why WOULD you get married? Its just a bit of paper, surely?

313 replies

fillyjonk · 04/09/2007 19:48

Why does a day out in a frou frou frock and a bit of paper mean so much to people?

For me what is important is the
relationship, which is what you work at day to day.

I know there are some legal/financial implications to not getting married, though some of these CAN be overcome, and others are overplayed. But anyway, I am not getting the impression that they are a big deal for most people.

Am curious here, no criticism meant...

OP posts:
madamez · 04/09/2007 21:04

Do those of you who hate expensive or elaborate weddings have the same sort of contempt for elaborate 21st birthday parties, end-of-school proms or unlimted-champagne New Year bashes? Is it conspicuous consumption in general that brings out the horsehair-tampon-wearing vibe in you, or just weddings?

morningpaper · 04/09/2007 21:04

I need to go and stare at Bruce Parry now and hope he gets really hurt so we can all have a laugh at the locals who like torturing the nice man from the BBC

expatinscotland · 04/09/2007 21:05

Hmm, there sure are a lot of men out there who ask their partners to marry them with no gun pointed at their heads and seem to do it quite willingly and even desire it.

And I don't just mean heterosexuals, because as far as I'm concerned I see civil partnerships same as marriage.

fortunecookie · 04/09/2007 21:05

my bum hurts from sitting on this cheap ikea chair. I'm gone.

Blandmum · 04/09/2007 21:06

dh never expected me to stay home with the kids.

FWIW, i don't think that amyone I know who is married has a dh who expected this of them.

Not in my generation, anyway.

I think this thread could be entitled' Why marry are utter arse, it is just a bit of paper?'

I wouldn't have married an arse. that would have been a daft thing to do!

littlelapin · 04/09/2007 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cammelia · 04/09/2007 21:07

Love is all there is

NAB3 · 04/09/2007 21:08

Probably been said but I wanted to say it too. It isn't just a bit of paper. Ask those whose partner's have died or left them or taken the children. It is security, a commitment and something really amazing to do.

Cammelia · 04/09/2007 21:08

All you need is love

Cammelia · 04/09/2007 21:08

Love

Rantmum · 04/09/2007 21:08

Actually, my dh has said in private that he felt differently after marriage, more secure, more content - he would only say that to me, though - never to any of his mates (male or female). Cynics would say that he was saying that to make me feel good (although it could just as easily make me feel taken for granted!) but I know my dh pretty well after 12 years and one of the strengths in our relationship is that we are generally emotionally honest with each other; that means we sometimes hear things we don't want to, but it usually means we understand each other reasonably well and it generally means I can trust anything dh does say.

Cammelia · 04/09/2007 21:08

Love is all there is

Blandmum · 04/09/2007 21:08

Nice line Cam, and a great song

And at the end of the day, you are quite right.

Dropdeadfred · 04/09/2007 21:09

MP - if thats really your view on the reason that men get married then I pity you.

morningpaper · 04/09/2007 21:09

Sorry to have offended you so much LL

NotAnOtter · 04/09/2007 21:09

i find it a bit sexier to be unwed
cant bear to be called MRS

NadineBaggott · 04/09/2007 21:10

Is meeting someone and falling in love a fantasy? I'd call it an expectation for a lot of people - women AND men. One hopes for a happy ever after but most know you have to work at it to attain it. As for the wedding party, that's an entirely personal choice. We got married in a registry office 35 years ago - tea and cake back at mums and 2 nights in a local hotel - not a pfft of a firework - or a sunset come to that!

startouchedtrinity · 04/09/2007 21:10

The only expectation dh has of me is that I am faithful. He asked me to marry him b/c he needed some security after his mum felt home when he was little. I knew that and I hope that is what I have given him.

MB, I am trying to find the right words to say about your posts on this thread but can't, but thank you for them.

Cammelia · 04/09/2007 21:10

NotanOtter, are you mad

Mrs is belonging only to him

startouchedtrinity · 04/09/2007 21:11

Left home, obviously.

policywonk · 04/09/2007 21:11

(NAO - I hear you. I occasionally manage to convince myself that I am a bit rock 'n' roll cos I'm not married. Mortgage, kids, silly big car - check. But I'm NOT MARRIED, and am therefore both Cool and Hard.)

Cammelia · 04/09/2007 21:12

Fantasies are what make the world go round, sometimes they come true

Blandmum · 04/09/2007 21:12

NAO, you can be a Ms and married. Or a Miss, for that matter!

morningpaper · 04/09/2007 21:12

Notanotter I agree

Living is sin sounds like SO much fun

madamez · 04/09/2007 21:13

Being married doesn't actually stop a partner from leaving, form having sex with other peole, or from violently assaulting you. Nothing actually comes with guarantees and it's stupid to teach children that it does.