This is a red flag isn't it? I'm fuming

[duckingredflags]

I have been dating a man who lives close to me for the last couple of months, we are both early 20's. I live at home with parents and he has a flat 10 minutes up the road. He works nights and last night he mentioned he hadn't eaten before work so I offered to drop him some food off from McDonald's at around 10 o'clock as I drive and he doesn't. I turned up with the food and then on my way home I received messages saying I'd got his order wrong and detailing everything I'd got wrong, he'd asked for no ice in his drink and there was ice, I'd got the wrong sauce and his chips were cold. This got my back up as I'd driven all the way there for him and paid for it, so I snapped back that it was ungrateful to be complaining and he messaged back saying 'well, if you got the wrong food served to you in a restaurant and you were looking forward to it you wouldn't be happy would you ? I saw red at this point and responded 'well I'm not a fucking restaurant am i?' You should go yourself next time then. He responded with 'forget it'. I'm seriously considering ending things over this, I'm not being unreasonable and overreacting am I ?

Be glad he has shown you who he is so soon into the relationship. Block and ignore.

Agreeing with all the others!

That is so rude and so ungrateful! Glad you identified it as a red flag.

Now, if you get turned off by this you have a good self-esteem. If you strive hard to win back his approval...............

iem would you say it was desperate if a man had done this for a woman?

You're not desperate to have DONE this.

What matters now is how you respond to it!

I am a very giving person and I have done a lot of things like this in relationships in the past but if I did this for my bf now, he would not only be very grateful but he'd instantly be trying to do something nice right back.

I would do this for my friends they asked but my friends do not have such entitlement.

I think that's what's scary about this incident, he felt so entitled to have you SERVE him that he was not embarrassed to reprimand you for having served him wrong. Tbh, if you'd been at the top of the queue in mcdonalds you would probably have been more polite to the crew person than he was to you!?

I think he didn't express himself well and I would also dump him.

Sometimes though if someone does me a favour but fucks it up then it isn't really a favour at all.

If you know you're worth more than being his crew person, you'll be very turned off.

If you are tapping in to your feelings right now and you sense any desire to win back HIS approval, that would be worrying.

Text him back - ONCE - then block.

"Hi Mateyboy. Thanks for giving me the heads-up last night that you are an unreasonable arsehole who shouldn't be in a relationship with any decent woman. Kindly fuck off & never contact me again."

Do it.
You will feel better.
Oh - & then tell your dad. (I mean it. This guy lives uncomfortably close to you.)

DUMP the ungrateful arse.

Yes, it’s a whole row of red flags.

And you need to dump him.

But I do wonder if he saw you coming: abusive men do have a knack for picking women who are vulnerable in some way. This isn’t an accusation, and you have stood up for yourself, and are now planning to put him in the bin alongside his cold chips.

Reciprocal kindnesses and favours are lovely. Mutual kindness freely given = mutual respect. One partner responding more to ‘hints’ without reciprocity = something less healthy.

Head high OP, don’t look back!

Echoing @lilgreen -
Try not to run around after men in future.

Nope. See ya.

It isn't whinging to state an order is wrong. That's what he said.

No he specifically blamed op for everything.
And as for the chips being cold.
When the hell did anyone ever get chips home from Mcds and they were still hot? You are lucky if they are hot sitting in the place!
Op did him.a favour all he did was bitch about it then compare her to a restaurant! She isnt his personal restaurant service!
Is he incapable of fishing ice out? Sticking chips in a microwave?

He got a free meal delivered to him and all he did was slag op off for it, but you are right op should feel ashamed of herself! Bloody women not respecting the selfish entitled needs of the poor men.

Tell him to get to fuck op what an entitled git. You can do much better than that.

You are only thinking about ending it ?
Wake up

OP it would be very unintelligent not to dump him immediately.

I don't think you were "running round after him" - I think it was a kind gesture, and not unlike something many of us would do for someone we care about.

However, this isn't really about the food or what you did/didn't/shouldn't/should do; it's about his attitude. Expect more of the same if you stay.

Wow, how fucking rude. What an ungrateful twat. If this is how he behaves when you do something kind for him, imagine what his normal behaviour is.

Get rid of him now!! Tell him to go fuck himself

The fact that you're only thinking about ending it means he's a wrong-un: there is a strong positive correlation between unreasonable behaviour and the partner's willingness to ignore, minimise, or tolerate it.

Massive red flag and I’m with everyone else saying don’t run around after men like this! It sets a precedent and trust me you don’t want to go down that road. It might sound cold and you want people to think you’re nice, but it just lets people walk all over you. I suspect everyone echoing me has also learnt this the hard way.

I’m not saying never do anything for anyone! Just make 100% sure it would definitely be reciprocated, don’t give in to hints, and don’t do things because you think people will like you more. He’s a grown man. He should be trying to charm you and win you over not expecting you to run around like a Deliveroo driver for him. Is his app finger broken? He could have ordered his own food. As you can see he didn’t feel a surge of love and gratitude towards you, he put you in the same bracket as cheap labour he’d hired to deliver something - and you didn’t even get paid.

He has no right to whinge that the chips were cold. Hot things lose their heat as time passes.
Wrt the ice, I've said ''no ice'' myself in ff restaurants but they're on auto-pilot, they put in ice.

As for the wrong sauce, well, I would have just said NOTHING and then if I was lucky enough to ever have that lovely gesture repeated, i might have said ''ask if they have that sauce i like, i love xxxxx sauce''.

But his response shows such entitlement to be served.
He treated his gf like an incompetent employee.
She challenged him on it, and he didn't think, oh yeh, sorry. He got annoyed with her.

Big red flag

For me, the fact that he was hinting for you to go out and get him food is the bigger red flag? Who does that? If I was sitting at home hungry, I would never text a boyfriend hinting that I think he should go out and buy me some food and bring it over. It’s not a normal thing to do. It’s a very lazy thing to do. And he didn’t even give you the money!

Anyway, yes, you would be crazy to keep seeing him. He isn’t a good ‘in.

Red flag. A severe sign of things to come if you were to continue with the relationship.
Controlling, anger issues, sense of entitlement, disrespectful.... I could go on.

Yes it is a red flag. Dump him now by text please.