This is a red flag isn't it? I'm fuming

[duckingredflags]

I have been dating a man who lives close to me for the last couple of months, we are both early 20's. I live at home with parents and he has a flat 10 minutes up the road. He works nights and last night he mentioned he hadn't eaten before work so I offered to drop him some food off from McDonald's at around 10 o'clock as I drive and he doesn't. I turned up with the food and then on my way home I received messages saying I'd got his order wrong and detailing everything I'd got wrong, he'd asked for no ice in his drink and there was ice, I'd got the wrong sauce and his chips were cold. This got my back up as I'd driven all the way there for him and paid for it, so I snapped back that it was ungrateful to be complaining and he messaged back saying 'well, if you got the wrong food served to you in a restaurant and you were looking forward to it you wouldn't be happy would you ? I saw red at this point and responded 'well I'm not a fucking restaurant am i?' You should go yourself next time then. He responded with 'forget it'. I'm seriously considering ending things over this, I'm not being unreasonable and overreacting am I ?

One entitled idiot doesn't have to put you off relationships but you certainly shouldn't have to ever put up with crap like that.

No don’t let it put you off. Just let it keep your head on your shoulders and your eyes open next time. And let it boost your confidence that you don’t put up with pathetic men and know your worth.

Nah, that one was just a sicko. Plenty of good'uns out there.

The thing is, was this really the very first sign of his weirdness? Or were there things before? Tbh I can't help thinking, from what you posted, that he was pushing his luck before and this one tipped you over the edge but there were earlier signs of some pretty breathtaking entitlement.

Don't let a man child like that put you off. There are plenty of decent blokes out there; let this experience boost your confidence, you were able to spot that this one wasn't worthy of you.

Wicked and reckless,

Sounds like something we all should aspire to be at least once in our lives
Or a fab band name

He's told you what he is, listen to him. What a dick.

There are men out there who are good and decent, it's just that he wasn't one of them. I wonder if you would find doing the Freedom Programme helpful? It would help you sort the wolves from the lambs at the least, as it were.

Personally, I think the Freedom Programme should be part of the National Curriculum.

I don't think I need to freedom programme just yet, thanks. I've spotted early on that he's not right and I don't have a history of abusive relationships.

I'm usually the first person to spot that somethings not right with other people's relationships. My mum also works with abused women so she is pretty hot at drilling warns signs into me. It's just this time I thought I would double check on here that my feelings were justified as sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees when we are upset and a bit emotional and I am sometimes a bit hasty with making decisions

I think you don’t need it yet either. You spotted bad behaviour and you acted on it and ended things. Hopefully you’ll meet someone who doesn’t treat you badly next time.

Although I did read why does he do that? before out of interest when my mum had a copy and found it interesting.

Of course the OP doesn't need to do the Freedom Programme. There's been no attempt to minimise things at all. Other OPs defend their abusive partner, saying that he's lovely really and become defensive. (My DM was like this where my F was concerned, blaming his treatment of her on his Parkinson's Disease or the medication.)

I'd say that her boundaries are exactly as they should be.

I'm sorry; I seem to have caused some consternation by suggesting the Freedom Programme. I was thinking of the aspect of it of spotting abusive men earlier rather than after you're already in a relationship with them - which you must admit the OP didn't do. I don't know whether it's a pattern in her relationships or not, but I mentioned it because then she could decide for herself whether she wanted to look into it further.

Not every man will show signs of being abusive before dating them. They usually tend to get a bit comfortable first don't they

@Jux I think the consternation was caused because it was clear to most of us that the OP wasn't in need of such support. By applying a near-blanket 'do the freedom programme' to every thread about some wanker, we risk portraying that women are all incapable of making decisions for themselves and that men are so inherently dangerous that we need special training to spot the bad ones. Sometimes yes, particularly if the woman has been traumatised in the past, but usually no. As OP says, they tend not to show their abusive tendencies til the relationship is more established.

People with weird agenda often show their cards pretty soon, though are we always listening before we jump into a (sexual) relationship? Second, people who work with abused women are not immune and can also be taken in. The book “Stop Signs” an example of this.

The book Stop Signs is by Lynn Fairweather.

Surely the first red flag is an adult male who wants a macdire meal? But yes what a bellend. Dump him.

Ah cant judge him for wanting a mcDonald's!
All the rest of it though. Yes

Loving wicked and restless! Was that really supposed to be a endgame level put down?

Good work ducking. Bullet neatly dodged. I hope your friends appreciate your twat detector too, great skill to have

salty like cold mcd fries 😂

you dodged a bullet there OP,
good riddance

Even if you could it completely wrong any decent person would have been grateful and kept quiet.

Seriously you need to bin this one off ASAP