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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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This is a red flag isn't it? I'm fuming

323 replies

duckingredflags · 12/02/2020 07:05

I have been dating a man who lives close to me for the last couple of months, we are both early 20's. I live at home with parents and he has a flat 10 minutes up the road. He works nights and last night he mentioned he hadn't eaten before work so I offered to drop him some food off from McDonald's at around 10 o'clock as I drive and he doesn't. I turned up with the food and then on my way home I received messages saying I'd got his order wrong and detailing everything I'd got wrong, he'd asked for no ice in his drink and there was ice, I'd got the wrong sauce and his chips were cold. This got my back up as I'd driven all the way there for him and paid for it, so I snapped back that it was ungrateful to be complaining and he messaged back saying 'well, if you got the wrong food served to you in a restaurant and you were looking forward to it you wouldn't be happy would you ? I saw red at this point and responded 'well I'm not a fucking restaurant am i?' You should go yourself next time then. He responded with 'forget it'. I'm seriously considering ending things over this, I'm not being unreasonable and overreacting am I ?

OP posts:
Onthemaintrunkline · 12/02/2020 19:46

He’ll live on and use, hurt, confuse, and humiliate as he goes. Red flag....I’d say! It’s the way some people just function.

CalleighDoodle · 12/02/2020 20:02

If my husband came home with a mcdonalds with no bbq sauce... well, id be seeing red. Bbq sauce is the only thing that makes mcdonalds fries and cheese sticks bearable.

In fact before i turned veggie, we went through the kfc drive through and we ordered their inferior bbq sauce with our bucket. Mentioned it more than once. Got home. No sauce. Red. I phoned kfc and complained. They gave us a £20 voucher. Now i always check the bag before i move past the window.

What is it with fast food places and bbq sauce rationing?

Op block him. Move on.

Heartburn888 · 12/02/2020 22:56

Next time collect a dog turd off the street and plonk it in a sandwich for him.

Bon appetite douche bag

MsDogLady · 13/02/2020 00:59

He’s a mean-spirited loser. Don’t argue/debate. Tell him it’s over and block.

Bouledeneige · 13/02/2020 01:19

Dump him. And send him the Uber Eats app.

SnowyRacoon · 13/02/2020 01:25

Dump him you deserve far far better.

VenusTiger · 13/02/2020 02:21

@ThisMustBeMyDream can you at least understand, there is a world of difference between moaning and blame. Yes?
The OP's (now hopefully ex) bf lives alone and is old enough to have eaten something before his night shift. He is to blame. End of.

Tvquizhelp · 14/02/2020 08:29

You’re clearly not leaving Confused

TheReef · 14/02/2020 08:47

He was bvvvvvu! If someone is kind enough to do this then you don't moan about it.

I'd dump him op, simply not talking to each other isn't giving any closure

WorriedMum6868 · 14/02/2020 08:52

Sweet jesus. Dont waste another second of your life on this colossal twat.

TheBlueStocking · 14/02/2020 08:53

What on earth is wrong with people? And I don't mean the ungrateful boyfriend. PP demanding that the OP blocks him and insulting her? Just leave her alone to make her own decisions

thehorseandhisboy · 14/02/2020 09:01

OP he's given you a glimpse of his expectations of you and how he expects to be able to behave towards you.

It was kind of you to take him some food, but his 'mentioning' that he hadn't eaten before going into work was a little test to see how keen you are to care for him. His criticisms were a little test to see how keen you are to really, really get that right. Possibly hoping that you might be keener to get that right than anything else that you had going on that evening (and the rest of your life).

Yes of course it's a great big red flag.

I hope that you have the self-worth to ignore and block him or just send a message saying that you don't want to see him anymore with no explanations or justifications, although I'm not holding my breath.

duckingredflags · 14/02/2020 16:27

It's over you'll all be pleased to know 🙂

OP posts:
duckingredflags · 14/02/2020 16:36

He messaged me saying I was wrong for going off one and talking nonsense and that he was upset because if you're hungry and you give someone a list and they bring back some cold random food of course he's going to be upset and he doesn't want to deal with a person like me. I said well I hope the next person gets your order right or even better buy your own car and go and fetch your own fucking food, bye. Blocked and deleted.

OP posts:
Noluck11 · 14/02/2020 16:37

@duckingredflags Good for you !

EuroMillionsWinner · 14/02/2020 16:39
Grin

Bravo! What a brat he is. Waaa, my order isn't spot on (hardly 'random' food, either). Did he think you were fucking UberEats? Total loser. You are well rid. He's in his 20s and expects someone else to feed him? What a fucking reject.

duckingredflags · 14/02/2020 16:42

This was only today I find it hilarious that he's still dinsgruntled about it days later 😂

OP posts:
HalfBiscuit · 14/02/2020 16:42

Amazing! Well done OP.

EuroMillionsWinner · 14/02/2020 16:43

My Syrian hamster is more mature than he is.

duckingredflags · 14/02/2020 16:47

He was fixated on the fact that I said to him the other day he complains more than a toddler and that was the final straw for him apparently as he can't be with someone who says things like that to him 😂

OP posts:
EuroMillionsWinner · 14/02/2020 16:49

It's funny now, ducking, but the thing is, you didn't bin him off the first time. Just left it for him to do it. Honestly, please learn from this. Next time you get one like this, just bin them asap, block delete whatever. Don't leave it for them. He binned you from the sounds of it, so feels totally justified in carrying on being a tit.

Mittens030869 · 14/02/2020 16:52

Wow, you really are well rid. I don't tolerate that kind of rudeness from my DDs and none of my DDs' cousins or friends behave like that. He's looking for a surrogate mother not a girlfriend. Sadly he'll probably find a girlfriend who is vulnerable and be abusive to her.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. There are a lot of decent men out there who will treat you as you desire to be treated. Smile

Mittens030869 · 14/02/2020 16:54

He was fixated on the fact that I said to him the other day he complains more than a toddler and that was the final straw for him apparently as he can't be with someone who says things like that to him

Lol, the truth hurts, doesn't it? You were spot on. Grin

Idonttrackpeas · 14/02/2020 16:56

Bloody well done OP. Great text.

timetest · 14/02/2020 16:57

Good response from you.