OLD is becoming really vile-where are the manners???

[Nadia86]

Just a rant really.Online dating last 6 months.My two previous serious relationships were from OLD so I was positive to go on it again.
Just to clarify-I am not against it,Im not desperate,I had great RL dates.I dont hate men lol....But Im sick of lack of manners,basic etiquette,basic kindness from men I either chat to or meet.

• awful questions such us -whats your weight hun?,can you fuck like a pornstar?, I know are vegetarian - would you have my sausage??? I was even offered money for sex!

These guys dont get my time or energy and are blocked.I have a thick skin I laugh at it ,ii is what it is but Im still thinking-what the actual fuck? Some of these men have daughters! Recently though Ive been getting more and more fed up with men's behaviour ,those I went on dates with.Often late, forgetting their wallets, getting drunk. Or if the date went well I always send a message to thank them and I get no reply!I don't expect a guy to fall in love with me -most of the time I dont want a second date myself but to not even reply to thank me or anything??? One guy I spent 4 hours with- fabulous dinner,drinks,we talked all the time. I never expect anything afterwards I know how things go but again I sent a text to say thank you and heard nothing and that was 4 days ago!How rude! Im independent,have friends,I actually enjoy dating but also hate being one of millions of girls men have at their fingertips. Some dates seemed more like a job interview especially with men who are experienced with OLD. Not sure what Im asking. Should I carry on?Call men out on their shitty behaviour? Im just angry. Hate wasting my time yet Im prepared to invest it in finding the right person but Im really loosing my patience.

Can you carry on blocking the tossers and just meet for coffee for first date then dinner for second date only? This is why I don't want to do old ever again!

Yeah Ive done that too. Im just fed up. Im happy single perphaps I should stay single haha Thank you @yesterdaystotalsteps123

Yes I'm choosing to be single. Even if someone appears nice online, ime, this has just been a mask and you end up hurt anyway. I've been watching Stephanie Lyn coaching videos on YouTube and this has helped me with being single and recovering from toxic relationships

Im going to watch her @yesterdaystotalsteps123 thanks

‘Forgetting’ their wallets? You’ve seriously had men do that?

Yep forgot his wallet. Seriously.I paid for his coffee had a chat and never heard from him again.Tbf I didn't contact him afterwards.

The seemingly charming and lovely man who seemed genuinely interested and paid for coffee - before texting me to say “I bet you go like a train.

Ugh.

I’m currently divorcing (amicably) and vaguely thinking about dating again in the future but tbh I really can’t see it ever happening. I’m now late 40s and my tolerance for bullshit is zero.

Exactly.Like I said I think the concept of OLD is fine as long as people are decent.But the scumbags really ruin it for me.I like chatting online I dont mind it but I often find that they seem nice for a week then suddenly say something so offensive and rude that you really feel cheated in a way!And I dont get invested but if someone replies to me and seems nice I like to carry on chatting until I meet them ,why not? The feeling of wasted time is the worst- not that it didn't turn into a relationship it's the feeling of spending time talking to a dick!

The best one, or rather the worst one, was when we set a date for dinner ( was going to be the first meet) and then the day before he said on a text “can we just meet for a coffee as I don’t think you’re worth having dinner with”. How. Bloody. Rude. I blocked him

I think I know just what you mean. For example last week I spent a pleasant half an hour chatting to a woman at a cafe. We were both on our own and she made a comment to me and we talked about this and that for a while, then said goodbye.

It was a really nice way to spend the time, no expectations, it just was what it was.

If she’d texted me with a lewd or unpleasant comment later on it would have really upset me. (Obviously she doesn’t have my number!) But it would just make me question so many things about our interaction.

“can we just meet for a coffee as I don’t think you’re worth having dinner with”

Is this a version of trolling? Or WTF is it?!?

@Stuckupsnob thats really bad.Sorry.And I know you not to let all it get in your head but its hard! @JustAnouk Yeah exactly. Again wasted time. All I expect is some manners,self awareness and being treated like they would like to be treated.

I wonder if women (to men) have become more “disposable” in some way. Sex is easy. FWBs are the order of the day. There’s always another swipe. Personally I’m not mad about OLD - takes alot of the magic and excitement out of it, meeting someone you don’t know and gradually finding out more. The “Look At Me” & “CV” approach of a lot of OLD kills interest for me.

Until I looked at OLD I didn’t realise how “up themselves” so many people are!

God. My Mum (and Dad) would be ashamed of me if they ever heard I’d done any of that. And if they weren’t, I’d be ashamed of myself.

Manners and basic kindness don’t cost anyone anything but it’s amazing how rude some men (and women) can be. Particularly online, but often IRL now. IMO all you can really do is make sure you teach your kids that it’s unacceptable.

People are liars as it’s easy to hide behind a screen and make things up and I reckon over half are not really single and are looking for an ego boost I have friends who are just as fed up with it as I am it’s very tedious as people say before you even get to the date stage which I keep being blown out so don’t even get there . They act all keen then fizzle out .

Yeah @yesterdaystotalsteps123.So right. It saddens me cause I know there are decent men out there (I met some!) but I just cant be bothered going through all the other ones just to meet one good guy. Also I dont mind being single yet I like dating and being in a relationship Im not going to deny that.
Im going to take a break.Deleted my accounts for Tinder and Bumble.For now 😛😂. I work a lot,I have hobbies I really dont want to spend another dinner date with someone who will not even text me afterwards. My time is precious!

Totally agree with you @Justwondering3696 .Spent hours talking to some and a day before the date they disappear or suddenly their whole family gets ill or their hamster dies lol bullshit!

I was even offered money for sex!

That's actually better than the CF's who are looking for sex with accommodation provided (cause they're cheaters or live at home with their parents) ... 'do you live alone?", "do you have your own place?" (three lines in) .... There's a place you get sex with accommodation provided, it's called a brothel; go and find one instead of annoying women on dating sites, you cheap b*stards.

(That was tongue in cheek, obviously - I am not a proponent of prostitution aka paid rape).

@GilbertMarkham this made me laugh !!!!! So true.

The funny thing is I have no problem with sex either as FWB or one night stands but Im not going to shag someone who can't pay for their own coffee or asks about my weight! Although the guy who offered me money for sex (" only once a month and my wife understands ") seemed pretty surprised when I said no! Maybe Im to picky? 🤦‍♀️

Meet them for coffee first and ensure the first date no matter how good it is has a clear end time (agree it in advance). That usually tends to weed out the fuckwits. The men who are worthwhile and genuinely like you back won’t mind a second date.

Thank you @GrumpyHoonMain ! Will I remind him to take his wallet beforehand? 😂😂😂 joking. But yeah short and sweet first date sounds like the best idea :)