OLD is becoming really vile-where are the manners???

[Nadia86]

Just a rant really.Online dating last 6 months.My two previous serious relationships were from OLD so I was positive to go on it again.
Just to clarify-I am not against it,Im not desperate,I had great RL dates.I dont hate men lol....But Im sick of lack of manners,basic etiquette,basic kindness from men I either chat to or meet.

• awful questions such us -whats your weight hun?,can you fuck like a pornstar?, I know are vegetarian - would you have my sausage??? I was even offered money for sex!

These guys dont get my time or energy and are blocked.I have a thick skin I laugh at it ,ii is what it is but Im still thinking-what the actual fuck? Some of these men have daughters! Recently though Ive been getting more and more fed up with men's behaviour ,those I went on dates with.Often late, forgetting their wallets, getting drunk. Or if the date went well I always send a message to thank them and I get no reply!I don't expect a guy to fall in love with me -most of the time I dont want a second date myself but to not even reply to thank me or anything??? One guy I spent 4 hours with- fabulous dinner,drinks,we talked all the time. I never expect anything afterwards I know how things go but again I sent a text to say thank you and heard nothing and that was 4 days ago!How rude! Im independent,have friends,I actually enjoy dating but also hate being one of millions of girls men have at their fingertips. Some dates seemed more like a job interview especially with men who are experienced with OLD. Not sure what Im asking. Should I carry on?Call men out on their shitty behaviour? Im just angry. Hate wasting my time yet Im prepared to invest it in finding the right person but Im really loosing my patience.

I think porn has a lot to do with it too. And porn culture. Women are just the sum of their (sexual) parts than whole, beautiful beings. Sex is more a transaction with no responsibilities on either side. FWB is part of that, though I know it’s promoted heavily now. Sex as a “benefit”. sounds like a salary package to me 🙃. Of course it doesn’t mean the past was always better, but I do think the generalised sexual debasement and rudeness - I’m not talking about occasional seaside or bawdy humour here - but actually something much worse - has got much worse. I watched Love Island last night. A Scottish guy told a girl he’d just met he’d like to fill any of her holes, and shdd Ed was delighted and thought his banter delightful . Women’s bars are so low now, the only cure is to raise them higher than a sunrise 😊

@TheStuffedPenguin so happy you met someone decent. The ghosting thing is certainly one that really bugs me and I find it rude. Not so much if you have never met but after you have had a seemingly nice long date and you get nothing not even a thank you message. I only ghosted those who said something horrible etc I dont own them anything. I agree men have a hard time on it too but at this stage Im finding it hard to feel sorry for men 🤣 Too annoyed with how Ive been treated. Will get over it obviously 😁

@Namechange8471 I used Bumble and Tinder. Not interested in paying for OLD at the moment but who knows what awaits me in the future....

@CandyFree bloody porn.... Now I wished I had said something back to that guy but I just blocked him with out sending an appropriate come back.

I used bumble the last time I was OLD, and it worked out pretty well in the end, but my god there are some strange people on any dating site. I messaged with quite a few people, but only went on a date with one, as he was the only one that seemed relatively normal 😂
Started messaging on the Sunday night, met up for a drink on the Thursday, few more dates after that and the rest as they say is history.
We've just got back from our first holiday together and have been together for a year.
He's actually quite amazing!

@thelaststraw123 that's fantastic!Bumble worked for me last time too :)

I can't really get my head around people doing OLD expecting gifts! Beyond weird.
And to "do you fuck like a porn star" my answer is "you only need a hole, why are you wasting my time".

All these things surely just help you weed out the "no"s?

Women need to up their standards and men wouldn't get away with so much.
Not a fan of fwb to be honest I know some women like it but I feel it benefits men more.

@bsc what really disappointed me was that the guy that asked me the porn star question actually seemed really nice.We chatted for 2-3 days no red flags,he told me about his teenage daughter etc. So it wasn't straight away otherwise I would have blocked him sooner. I think Im good at weeding then out but sometimes it takes a while for them to show who they are :(

I think the problem is for maybe every 100 idiots, there's one good genuine guy. Only he gets snapped up very quickly! As whoever is lucky enough to get a date with him realises what she has and holds onto it. Hence why you get people on these threads for whom OLD did work out. They literally just logged in at the specific right time. You could OLD for 10 years and always just catch those 99 idiots. Or you could do it for a week and catch the 1 in a 100 good guy. It's sheer random luck, like the lottery.

This is why I gave it up. It was too much investment of time and emotion for a small chance of "winning". I realised I was happy as I was and OLD was actually a negative thing in my life.

@Meruem so well put. Yeah the investment of time did not seem to be worth it anymore.

They want women who will give oral sex, unreciprocated, who will allow anal and fisting with a smile, who won't complain about being objectified, who never say 'no' to sex and who allow the men to carry out whatever their whims may be with a smile.

That's what they mean by 'fucking like a pornstar'.

I had a short stint on Match about 10 years ago before meeting my DH.
OLD hadn't become as seedy as it is now but I remember being shocked at the amount of middle aged men who thought it was ok to ignore my age limits and contact me, despite the fact I was only in my early twenties. It was constantly "I know you want aged 35 and under, I'm 63 but really like your profile..."
I cannot imagine being in my 60's and thinking I'd stand a chance with a 22 year old...

I clearly stated I didnt want kids yet I got w message once something along the lines lines-"you are a bit older than what Im looking for but would you consider having a child with me if we did go out?"Im 34 the guy was 38! I also I found that men dont read my profile ask stupid questions like what do you do,where do you live etc its all in my bio read it! I dont know why but I find that really lazy and rude too.Called a few pf them out on it!

OLD at it's finest. Unfortunately, a lot of women put up with this, with men thinking this is the benchmark to treat all women. Block, block, block the trash. It'll happen eventually!

@Nadia86 I just had a look at the twitter page, it's still there but there's only 1 tweet on it now. Shame, it was hilarious/an eye opener!

@woooooo what a shame I hope there will be more soon! Even this thread made me laugh so much !

OP I stated on my profile that I didn't want kids yet I got lots of messages from women asking "surely you'd change your mind for the right woman?" WTF??

@ShatnersWig 🤦‍♀️ no words. So frustrating!

@ShatnersWig at some point I was even wary to put in that I was vegetarian because of the "would you try my sausage" comments

And the sad thing is that they think the 'would you try my sausage' comment is a) hysterically funny and b) totally original because nobody has a 'quirky' sense of humour like them! And if you pull them up on it you are a 'humourless bitch'.

@Zaphodsotherhead yeah they think its hilarious.
Just remembered- A friend of mine went out with a guy for dinner; during the dinner he already asked for a second date,they made a rough plan when and where etc.She barely got home after the date when she found he had blocked her on everything! She was very upset and she is lovely! Why do they do that? ??

It was like that 18-19 years ago when I was on it. All about porn and sex. God, the anal demands! The idea that sex is a woman performing fellatio and then accommodated anal doggy style. Buy a fucking blow up doll!

Please tell me you don't buy them a fucking coffee or pay for the date because they 'forgot their wallet'. Who buys that nowadays? They have a phone, they can pay up. If not, 'That's a pity. Guess we'll have to meet up later'.

Had one guy do this to me on a date and it was a meal. He'd ordered a cocktail, starter, expensive main, wine, pudding. Then tried to pull that. 'Well, it's a good thing you brought your phone then! You can ring a friend to spot you.' He couldn't believe I wasn't going to buy an expensive dinner for a total fucking stranger. I told the server it was a date and he was trying to get me to pay for it but I wasn't going to, paid for my own and left. Fucking chancer.

@EuroMillionsWinner wow good for you!I paid for that one coffee as I couldnt care less but I knew straight away I didnt want to see him ever again!
I actually never ever expected anybody to pay for me even in relationships. How can you show up without a wallet on a date?Coffee costs £3!!!

How can you show up without a wallet on a date?

They have means to pay. They just want a free coffee. It's 2020, there's paying with your phone, watch, being able to transfer money from their account to yours with their phone immediately. That's your first clue they're a pisstaking loser. Fuck that.