OLD is becoming really vile-where are the manners???

[Nadia86]

Just a rant really.Online dating last 6 months.My two previous serious relationships were from OLD so I was positive to go on it again.
Just to clarify-I am not against it,Im not desperate,I had great RL dates.I dont hate men lol....But Im sick of lack of manners,basic etiquette,basic kindness from men I either chat to or meet.

• awful questions such us -whats your weight hun?,can you fuck like a pornstar?, I know are vegetarian - would you have my sausage??? I was even offered money for sex!

These guys dont get my time or energy and are blocked.I have a thick skin I laugh at it ,ii is what it is but Im still thinking-what the actual fuck? Some of these men have daughters! Recently though Ive been getting more and more fed up with men's behaviour ,those I went on dates with.Often late, forgetting their wallets, getting drunk. Or if the date went well I always send a message to thank them and I get no reply!I don't expect a guy to fall in love with me -most of the time I dont want a second date myself but to not even reply to thank me or anything??? One guy I spent 4 hours with- fabulous dinner,drinks,we talked all the time. I never expect anything afterwards I know how things go but again I sent a text to say thank you and heard nothing and that was 4 days ago!How rude! Im independent,have friends,I actually enjoy dating but also hate being one of millions of girls men have at their fingertips. Some dates seemed more like a job interview especially with men who are experienced with OLD. Not sure what Im asking. Should I carry on?Call men out on their shitty behaviour? Im just angry. Hate wasting my time yet Im prepared to invest it in finding the right person but Im really loosing my patience.

I've not had any of this behaviour! I think Match may be tame, compared to the other swipey sites. I've had the odd sleazy message, but none of the weirdness here.

Oh @Dieu lucky you!I could write a book!

Although the guy who offered me money for sex (" only once a month and my wife understands ")

Why on earth is he propositioning women on dating sites for that - there are hundreds of sex workers who are advertising their services and who would suit that setup.

Is he trying to pay less than he's have to pay an escort or similar?

Years ago I tried POF. I hadn't idea it had a rep for hookups; I knew a girl who's met her bf through it so I thought I'd give it a go. (And lots of sites in my region seemed empty, whereas there actually seemed to be people on POF).

It had (maybe still has) an "Intimate Encounters" section which I naively thought people looking for sex/hookups would use - nope.

Can only my guess that that section was empty or 300 men to every women so they just keep trying their luck on the main site (same for all other sites for hookups and extramarital stuff).

@GilbertMarkham well I didnt ask him.Blocked him .My loss 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣. Ha I wouldn't give it to him cheap Im saving for holidays to Mexico !

Ive never tried POF

Don't try POF. It's soul destroying.

There's a twitter account called 'Plenty of Fails" full of screenshots of atrocious opening messages from men on POF. The worst/weirdest one I ever got was "If we went on a date and you stayed at mine, would you use the toilet in the morning for anything other than a wee?" 🤦🏼‍♀️ 10/10 for originality I suppose.

*PlentyofFishfails

I was on OLD for 5 years on and off. I found these type of men hilarious, plus they made my job even easier. Block, block and block again.

Funnily, I met my now DP outside of OLD and he is amazing.

Yup, POF is to be avoided. More topless men and men in hi-vis vests than you can shake a stick at.

Becoming vile? Where have you been? I found it vile eight years ago and refused to go back. I was astonished to get appalling messages from women while OLD. Sometimes there were thoughtless ones but I sometimes got, completely out of the blue from women I hadn't even looked at let alone messaged.

@Nadia86 I lasted two weeks on tinder swapped numbers with a few only one date and then he went quiet with no explanation I think he wasn’t really single I think it’s so hard for us genuine decent ladies who are just trying to meet the same I agree with you bring single is much easier . Take a look at the dating thread one of the rules that follows me is it’s all BS until it happens so true

The only explanation that I have ever been offered by a man for some of these atrocious messages was that 'men find it funny'. So, in some male dominated workplaces they chat about how to find a woman who 'fucks like a pornstar' and then that kind of laddish banter enters their vocabulary. They really don't realise just what a complete turn off it is to most women or how they come across.

Which is why I am now one of the Happy Singletons on here!

I suspect its because they arent looking for a relationship and have found plenty of women online who are prepared to put up with the crap

@woooooo need to look at that Twitter thread hahahahaha.
@Dieu men in hi-vi vests made me laugh hard.
@ShatnersWig I believe you.I just think I was lucky cause my both previous relationships happened after one date with each of them ,did not even message or date other men I was just lucky!.Thought it might be the same this time-I will go online and meet a nice guy straight away.....Nope,not this time 😂

@Justwondering3696 I will look at the dating thread.I had in the past ,so many stories!

@pelirocco123 @Zaphodsotherhead my friend actually said to me once that men notice that I don't put up with crap and it might be off putting....I think Im just a normal woman who doesn't have time for bullshit and will not settle for less than I deserve. Yet Im always polite! I treat people with respect and expect the same. Online dating is hard and Im taking a break. I teach at primary school perphaps I should start teaching the little people some online dating etiquette etc hahahahaha.The sooner the better? 🤣😂😂😂😂

I've noticed more and more men like this now. Rude, no manners, obssessed with porn and sex.
I can't be doing with it.
I was once offered sex from an ugly, fat old man who came to do my tiling, he said it would cost £150 and he often gives this service to his "clients".
I told him I could get a better looking shag than him on any street corner and to get out of my house.

@madcatladyforever no way!!!!!! Yuck!!!!
@XPQF happy for you )

I've not been old that long but haven't had any messages like you describe. Then again i think i have a pretty good radar for the kind of men who would send those and i never ever swipe left on them. Don't get me wrong, i've been propositioned for hookups a lot, but generally i unmatch as soon as it becomes clear that's all he's after.

And the 'fuck like a pornstar' thing is weird as they don't actually do anything, do they?!

So what they're actually asking is 'can you lie there passively making theatrical noises while i fuck you?' Er, no.

@RuffleCrow spot on re porn stars 😁

Men actually get a rough time of it too - my now DH who I met on POF told me about the women asking money for video links ( their credit card to "prove" who they are) , the ones wanting sex but no relationship, the ones wanting gifts etc . Think there are the same amount of plonkers on both sides . I got propositioned several times by 2 young men and 1 older guy but none of them were offensive -they were straight up about what they were after .No dick pics ever ! Got ghosted a couple of times - ran into one of them with his wife subsequently ( amusing) . I do think though many men are rude in that they engage you in long conversations and then just disappear mid conversation. My H and I had a very brief conversation and met the next day and that was it .

What dating site do you use op?

I met dp on a proper paid one, having previously used pof, it was a delightful change!