OLD is becoming really vile-where are the manners???

[Nadia86]

Just a rant really.Online dating last 6 months.My two previous serious relationships were from OLD so I was positive to go on it again.
Just to clarify-I am not against it,Im not desperate,I had great RL dates.I dont hate men lol....But Im sick of lack of manners,basic etiquette,basic kindness from men I either chat to or meet.

• awful questions such us -whats your weight hun?,can you fuck like a pornstar?, I know are vegetarian - would you have my sausage??? I was even offered money for sex!

These guys dont get my time or energy and are blocked.I have a thick skin I laugh at it ,ii is what it is but Im still thinking-what the actual fuck? Some of these men have daughters! Recently though Ive been getting more and more fed up with men's behaviour ,those I went on dates with.Often late, forgetting their wallets, getting drunk. Or if the date went well I always send a message to thank them and I get no reply!I don't expect a guy to fall in love with me -most of the time I dont want a second date myself but to not even reply to thank me or anything??? One guy I spent 4 hours with- fabulous dinner,drinks,we talked all the time. I never expect anything afterwards I know how things go but again I sent a text to say thank you and heard nothing and that was 4 days ago!How rude! Im independent,have friends,I actually enjoy dating but also hate being one of millions of girls men have at their fingertips. Some dates seemed more like a job interview especially with men who are experienced with OLD. Not sure what Im asking. Should I carry on?Call men out on their shitty behaviour? Im just angry. Hate wasting my time yet Im prepared to invest it in finding the right person but Im really loosing my patience.

It is tempting to reach the conclusion that women have become disposable to men because they can easily get no strings sex, IMO porn has given men impression that there are loads of women out there just gagging for a piece of them but the truth is very few of them are getting any action.
They are crass and offensive to women because they feel entitled (due to the expectation raising effects of porn) and they are angry because they are not getting what they feel they're entitled to... they are punishing women because we are not gagging for them like they think we should be!

@TigerDater you are right they should be called out on their behaviour every time!

@UYScuti some very good points in your post.Men seem entitled and yes,get angry and mean when they women don't fall for their awful behaviour. Ive had that i.e when I refused to go out with a guy (politely declined after a short chat ,I just didn't feel it) he said :" so spending time with your dogs is better than going out with me?! " lol.Yes my dogs are better.The guy literally talked to me for 20 min and wanted to meet within an hour and I declined due to having to walk the dogs and being busy ( couldn't drop everything for some stranger!).

TigerDater - kindof poetically written and I think your post also helps give a fuller picture. UY also good points .

One thing that occurs to me is that alot of single men on dating apps are single for a reason. It is worth remembering that before you pour your heart out or jump into bed with one of them! If only I'd realised. Of course there are a few nice bachelors knocking about, but I'm not convinced that many of them would find their way to online dating.

So, what about all the single ladies? Well, perhaps that is true also in (some) ways. But I think single women can fair better on their own than men. A single woman can be reasonably self-sufficient and happy on her own . I think men struggle more with this, so most eligible men (in looks, character and personality) will be partnered up fairly quickly.

There are some men out there who are decent and prefer to be on their own. But the dating app male fans are often on the strange or sleazy side. It is a needle in a haystack I think, and any sensitive or woman of feeling and character should proceed with great caution.

@BigSun see I haven't looked at it like that.And you are right that good men often dont stay single long. Also that those sleazy ones end up online dating for a long time (like @ShatnersWig mentioned) cause no one would stay with them and they are single for a reason.
Im happy single yet would like a relationship but Im not going to compromise my values and morals.Took a lot of work for me to establish and to stick to my boundaries. I dont look for perfection but certain things are non negotiable!

I think many of these bottom of the barrel men are there are looking for wank fodder, or looking to score points over women/punish them for not wanting to shag them 🙄 aka incels

@UYScuti so sad isnt?

Wonder how would they react if their daughters experienced similar treatement!

Having never used OLD, I am only know about it from reports from friends, but it does seem that men (primarily) feel it allows them to do all sorts of hostile aggressive behaviour that you would never get away with in normal interactions.
To be honest I really dont know what goes through their brains.

They are not thinking with their brains 🍆

@UYScuti 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🍆

I think the problem is for maybe every 100 idiots, there's one good genuine guy. Only he gets snapped up very quickly!

This.

I met my husband OLD and he’s an absolute gem. I was his first and only date.

My advice is to date like a man. Speak to anyone you think might be a viable option. Meet quickly (I spoke to a lovely guy for a couple weeks and then when we eventually met I knew within 5 minutes it wasn’t going anywhere). And ditch at the first sign of a red flag.

DONT put up with any bullshit.

@Sexnotgender so happy for you! 😊

one way to screen people is to have a quick meeting on Skype before an actual meeting, but be poised ready to shut down the laptop as soon as he reaches to get his 🍆 out.
If he shows up on Skype wearing a bathrobe then disconnect immediately 🙈

@UYScuti Please tell me this hasn't happened to you??? !Yuck!
I do video chats now more than I used to. It helped a little as if finding out what they look like their voice etc but one still cancelled a date a day before and one didnt show up despite the two of us having nice video chats for 2 weeks.... oh ...:( But no guys in wardrobes yet 😂😂😂😂😘

Bathrobes not wardrobes!Omg

Yeah it did

he showed up in a bathrobe there was a quick hello and then he tried to whip it out 😣
but I was quick on the draw and I shot him down😅

I think this is known as the Harvey Weinstein Modus operandi, but this happened before we all found out what a piece of shite HW is

mind you I understand that when was HW carried out his attacks he also smelled strongly of faeces so luckily I was spared that extra humiliation

mind you I understand that when was HW carried out his attacks he also smelled strongly of faeces so luckily I was spared that extra humiliation

Oh 😮 I had missed this little gem. How utterly repulsive 🤢

@UYScuti Wow just wow. What a gem!We must be too picky 🤣letting go of men like that!🤦‍♀️

I think you also have to recognise that society has got more crude generally. I have to turn alot of "comedy" off on TV because the sexual crudeness in particular. I remember watching "In Betweeners" for a while. It was funny sometimes, but the gross sexual humour was just relentless. The language the "young lads" used when speaking about women was unspeakable. So its all part of a general revelling in debasement and vulgarity IMHO.

Look at any thread on MN - yes even this one - and there is very little concern about offending others by using crude sexual language and/or swearing. In fact people seem to love it .

So I think it goes right through society like a rock at the moment.

@BlueRound quite possible. I think I have a good sense of humour .I also love sex and talking about it (with a man Im close to and comfortable with), dont mind personal jokes or even dirty talk.But there has to be some balance - there is away of saying things! Hate the way some men speak about women hate that we have become objects of some really disguising language:( . I know this has been said over and over again but we need to collectively raise our bars and never ever put up with it . Its hard I know :(

Hi OP,
You sound like a great person. What about applying for First Dates on Channel 4?! I love that show!
Also, could you start any new hobbies or activities where you might need some nice guys?