OLD is becoming really vile-where are the manners???

[Nadia86]

Just a rant really.Online dating last 6 months.My two previous serious relationships were from OLD so I was positive to go on it again.
Just to clarify-I am not against it,Im not desperate,I had great RL dates.I dont hate men lol....But Im sick of lack of manners,basic etiquette,basic kindness from men I either chat to or meet.

• awful questions such us -whats your weight hun?,can you fuck like a pornstar?, I know are vegetarian - would you have my sausage??? I was even offered money for sex!

These guys dont get my time or energy and are blocked.I have a thick skin I laugh at it ,ii is what it is but Im still thinking-what the actual fuck? Some of these men have daughters! Recently though Ive been getting more and more fed up with men's behaviour ,those I went on dates with.Often late, forgetting their wallets, getting drunk. Or if the date went well I always send a message to thank them and I get no reply!I don't expect a guy to fall in love with me -most of the time I dont want a second date myself but to not even reply to thank me or anything??? One guy I spent 4 hours with- fabulous dinner,drinks,we talked all the time. I never expect anything afterwards I know how things go but again I sent a text to say thank you and heard nothing and that was 4 days ago!How rude! Im independent,have friends,I actually enjoy dating but also hate being one of millions of girls men have at their fingertips. Some dates seemed more like a job interview especially with men who are experienced with OLD. Not sure what Im asking. Should I carry on?Call men out on their shitty behaviour? Im just angry. Hate wasting my time yet Im prepared to invest it in finding the right person but Im really loosing my patience.

@EuroMillionsWinner so fucking depressing. I wouldnt leave my house just to get a free coffee haha too much time and effort for me to get to town really not sure what these men think. Hell,I would never arrange a date if I couldnt cover my share even if its just a £3 coffee!

I wouldn't expect a friend to pay for me! If I truly forgot cash I'd reimburse them using my phone then and there, but you know, GooglePay, ApplePay. Or you can transfer funds using your app if you don't have a payment app. 'Forgot my wallet' is bollocks. That would make me laugh. 'Good thing it's not 1990. You can use your phone to pay, or to transfer funds or we could just meet another time.'

But it must work on some level or they’d stop doing it surely.
They must get some positive reactions. 🤷‍♀️

Judging from some of the posters on here, Lllot, you're not wrong. Sadly some people have bars lower than sea level.

Sigh, I totally agree OP. I am baffled

Exactly @TheTickingTime @Lllot5 @EuroMillionsWinner . I really dont get it. Ive been following some of the OLD threads etc and I just don't understand how can you carry on seeing/talking to a man who displays some of these behaviours? Ive blocked so many I thought I must have gone through every single man's profile within UK hahahahaha. My poor phone!
I had some good dates but thats not the point of this thread as they were rare,very rare!

I used to take first dates for a brisk walk in the park. It is free and at least I was getting some exercise. If they were wankers I would walk faster and faster until they were (hopefully) out of breath, with a quick goodbye and thanks at the park gates. If they seemed OK I would see if they wanted to stop for a coffee.

@fuckoffImcounting brilliant idea. I could take my dogs and they could help out with getting rid of idiots. And wouldn't cost anything!😂🐶

Great idea, fuckoff!

My favourite was the woman who messaged me, bearing in mind I hadn't even glanced at her profile, telling me to "fuck off! You're clearly here just to get laid because all decent women want children so fuck off!"

So, there you are, women who decide not to have children, you're indecent according to that woman.

I've given up with it. I've been offered money for sex as well and it's grim. I'm also sick of chatting to someone thinking they seem really nice and we're getting on and then all of a sudden they mention they have a hard on. That happens 8 out of 10 times. I'm not being your wank fodder, you creep.

Or I get men asking just how overweight I am and to send them more photos of my full body. No? I'm overweight, I've said I'm overweight in my profile and I've got plenty of full body photos so if you don't like fatties then don't fucking talk to one?

Also the amount of men in their 50s messaging me to ask if I'm really thirty because I look so young and telling me they love how young I look. I do look young, most people think I'm late teens/early twenties and I can't help that.

I’ve been OLD for two years and have reached the conclusion that a good proportion of men on there actively hate women and use the apps to humiliate them - ie lots of chat, seemingly respectful, line up a date, then ghost before meeting. They never had any intention of meeting, they just get an ego boost from the virtual conquest.

That said, I’ve met some really nice men and also had some pricelessly funny experiences that keep my smug married friends in stitches. I’ve made some decent friends, met people with lifestyles and experiences that I would never meet in real life, and held virtual hands with people going through crises, all from OLD. The rudeness is appalling, but it’s not the full story.

@ShatnersWig seriously??? Omg no words

@LameSword it has happened to me quite a few times,the conversations turning to sex. I actually find it so boring and pathetic I feel sorry for men who make all this effort to get a wank. Pathetic

@TigerDater hate that,when they spend so much time talking to you then cancel the date or disappear. What is the point? Im so fed up with time wasters.Why do that?Just as pathetic. It really pisses me off as Im quite busy yet still trying to respond to messages and try to carry on the conversation if I enjoy it and they never actually want to meet!

I agree re the rudeness but like you @TigerDater I met some nice men and had some good times .

My friends have told me stories like this about POF.

If ever I was single, I’d never do OLD.

Nadia Yes, unfortunately.

One of the women who messaged me with "surely you'd change your mind for the right woman?" had added "you look so nice and we have so many shared interests" so I decided to answer with "Thing is, with respect, if a woman wants children then I'm afraid she isn't the right woman. And, to be frank, how would you feel if a man messaged you and said 'surely for the right man you'd give up wanting children?'"

To be fair to her, she replied the next day saying "I'm so sorry, when you put it like that I realise how rude I was."

@Nadia86 I once got chatting to a bloke and he seemed so nice and then all of a sudden he told me he was wanking so I blocked and deleted.

A few years later I decided to rejoin the dating site and he pops up to say hi. Clearly didn't remember me and then I ignored him so he told me to be careful on this site as a lot of men just want one thing, they're creeps and he wasn't like that! I just ignored him again but I was dying to say erm yeah you are

The dating thread is currently discussing the Fab website.Perhaps thats the one to try 😜 people comment on how transparent it is in terms of what people want and much more honest about their intentions.

@ShatnersWig you know what I actually liked how she reacted.Shows maturity.We all learn from others wish most men I blocked would understand how inappropriate,stupid and rude they can be!

@LameSword so funny.... and sad at the same time. Another one of those :(

In fact Im on holidays now so might as well sign up for Fab and see what happens given I have extra time on my hands 😉 Might document my experience on here to entertain you guys 🤣😛

Another reason I don't believe the stats that most people find their relationships on OLD now (other than I only know two people out of dozens and dozens who've actually had anything last longer than three months from it) is that when I took a break and went back on 18 months later, I recognized probably 85% of the profiles as having been there last time. So either many were fake or everyone is too fussy or it simply isn't as good as "they" say it is

Instead of blocking them nadia you could tell them what is wrong with their behaviour (like shatners did) and see what reaction you get? I've literally never just blocked someone without explaining and debating if necessary. It may be pointless in terms of changing their behaviour/attitudes, but why should they not be called out?

Good luck with Fab, it's a riot on there!