Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Yeah we spoke. I think it was a real mixture of wanting to show off because he thinks I am out of his league (I am not at all) and he very very much seems to care about these friends approval and want them to be happy for him. So I get that side of it. It’s excitement. And there was some stuff talked about with the friends to me/in front of me which confirms everything he’s ever told me, so he’s being open and honest

But the friends are still friends with ex wife and basically live very close proximity to her, know all the gory details of everything and are still having to give him ‘advice’ on managing some of his emotions related to the cheating. I mean no one wants to say to someone ‘get over it’ because that’s not ok, but I think he’s a little more held up on the cheating than he is ready to admit

I said to him when we got home that I really hoped he was not trying to prove anything to her by being out with me and the friends
He said he wasn’t. We do talk well about this stuff
But he also said he went on to OLD because he felt rejected and unattractive, so this means I am technically a pure rebound 😂

@jane banging was okay but we are both quite shy! I think it is one of those that will get better the more you do it 😂 It went on for a long time, despite my username I don't like to be banged for ages!

@mylife hope it goes well tonight! I think dtd if you want to, but be prepared for the crazy post sex hormones.

Just caught up with everyone's updates! Mine is, after not going on a single date since last summer, yesterday I went on two, get me!!! Mr theatre for a coffee date in the morning and Mr pool table for a dinner date in the evening. Unfortunately I don't think either are gonna fly I had a bad feeling about Mr theatre, you know that feeling when you can't put your finger on what it is but something about them makes you feel uncomfortable, that feeling, so I decided to listen to my gut and knock it on the head even though he was really keen. The date with Mr pool table was the best one I'd had in years but went a bit weird at the end, as we were saying goodbye I said don't I get a kiss and he just pecked me on the lips and I thought why has he done that, why not give me a proper kiss. Then he said my life's very complicated at the moment and I've got a lot of thinking to do. So I guess saying that and not wanting to kiss me means there's another woman on the scene. So I was a bit gutted after we'd had such a good evening. I decided to take control of the situation by ending things with him for now I sent him a text saying as you said you've got some thinking to do I won't message you again but I just wanted to say I've enjoyed talking to you and thanks for a lovely evening and I'd like to see you again. I got a text back saying I had a lovely evening too and it was great to meet you. But I won't be texting him again the ball is in his court, if he wants to see me again he will have to sort whatever his situation is out and then put the effort in with me by planning the next date and so on

So, feeling a bit gutted about how things panned out with Mr pool table, I went straight back on the apps! And picked out another iron to ask on a date which he has agreed to for next weekend, we don't have a time and place agreed yet though. Once you're on a roll you should stay on a roll! So, this one is Mr children. And he is gorgeous and seems really lovely, but, he is 15 years younger than me, gaaah!!! Am I kidding myself?! Would be great to hear your thoughts!

Evening fellow daters. I have a dilemma.

Been seeing Mr C for 10 weeks now. It moved quickly, he's said he's in love with me and vice versa. He took me to meet some friends last week. All went well, they were lovely. One of them mentioned (in a sort of 'can you believe this?!' way) a friend putting up nude pics on instagram. We all sort of chatted and laughed about it then I got into a separate conversation with someone. I overheard Mr C asking more about the pics. I'm fairly sure he wanted to see them. Later on I picked him up on it and he said he hadn't wanted to see them, he was just curious as to why some women do this. I'm playing this over in my mind and it feels really disrespectful. Why show such interest in a stranger's nude pics, especially with your girlfriend right there?!

Is this my first red flag? Or am I overreacting?

@bangheadhere40. I really want to!! I’ve not felt like this for ages but it’s only date 2. I really, really fancy him though and I definitely know the feeling is mutual. I’m just scared about the aftermath of the hormones and whether I’m strong enough for the possibility of being ghosted/dumped (not that there’s any indication that would happen)

Thanks for all your thoughts people. I went completely crazy and signed up for Fab 😳. I guess I thought it was most honest about what I actually want and I'm not sure if this makes sense but after my husband cheating on me I don't fancy the lying I feel may come with the other sites like tinder - they'll say they like me but all the really want is a shag!

So I've had a few messages I like the sound of and chatted to a few others - do I call these irons even from fab?? I'm so nervous about the whole thing, lots of fit looking guys and then there's wobbly/flabby old me 😞

Also is Fab really the place for me - I'm looking for 1 or maybe a couple of guys I can chat to and have a bit of a laugh with plus some good sex. Is this really possible or are they all after one of meets?

@bangheadhere40 glad the date went well in the end - I think it sounds like it's going well.

stillsexy 15 years is a big gap.

peanut I wouldn’t think of that as a red flag as such, I’m with him in wondering why on Earth people would do that so I would be curious too.

whatdoido there’s always a chance they’re after one offs, all you can do is be open about you’re after

@Tigerdater yes he said it was curiosity, but then he would say that wouldn't he! I just think, have a bit of consideration for your new girlfriend who's sitting across the table meeting your friends for the first time, and put your tongue away.

@Peanutbuttermouth wouldn’t be a red flag as such esp if he had a drink and it was banter with mates. As long as he wasn’t making offensive or sexist comments I guess

@Menora I would have thought at this early stage he would be shielding you from his drama , not lying or hiding it but not having it so visible to you. But maybe that’s ok with you and the relationship you have

@Peanutbuttermouth that would annoy me too but probably just noseyness as someone he knew rather than a random stranger.

Maybe just noseyness. I do think I have very high standards and I'm not prepared to lower them. He apologised, said he hadn't realised it was disrespectful, wouldn't do anything like that again etc. He is generally respectful. But I'll be on the look out now for other red flags 🧐

Can I join again please? Just had to dump one today for being a pathological liar 🙄 feeling very sorry for myself but reading the OP has just cheered me up a bit! Onward and upward, it wasn’t my fault and I’m lucky I found out when I did!

Sorry to hear that@LabradorMama how long had you been seeing him?

@Stillsexystillsingle Only four and a half months but it had been absolutely perfect up until a few weeks ago. He told me he loved me 6 weeks in. We’d even talked about marriage, looked at venues etc! It went incredibly fast but it felt so right ... until my intuition kicked in. He was a very VERY accomplished liar, so many things are falling into place now. I know I’ve had a lucky escape but I’m so sad and disappointed. I left his house at 3pm in a right state (had a panic attack this morning) He hasn’t even checked to see if I’m home and he has blocked me on WhatsApp!

I have an odd one. Abused on tinder I think bChatting to a guy on tinder most of day. Asks if I want kids, I say if opportunity comes along yes. He says he wants none, so says best part ways. Fair dues - I wish him good luck.

He then says I need more luck than him. I ask why (I know I shouldn’t have). He replied that I am not the most attractive woman in the world and I live in in stinky shithole, so yes I need all the luck.

No idea where this came from. I know I am not the most attractive and big overweight. but been told by guys in the past I am - different strokes. I don’t live in the best part of town, but it’s fine.

He was ok to my tastes, no stunner, lived in a good part of town, but not greet job. No idea where this came from and it’s dented my confidence a bit. It was rude. Was I trolled?

Sorry meant bit overweight. I have lost 3 stones in a year snd another 1 to go

@Ginbunny1212 well consider this......would you ever. Ever. Say that to someone? No matter whether you thought they were overweight etc? No. Right. Hes a mysoginist.

@Ginbunny1212 what an arse!!

@Ginbunny1212 his problem not yours

Block move on And don't dwell on it x

@Ginbunny1212. How awful when I was chatting to people and we didn’t match on something I’d always say good luck finding someone who matches better etc out of politeness. I hope he’s no made you want to stop doing that

@LabradorMama sounds horrible I'm glad you got yourself away from him, I think a couple of months in is when the cracks start to show with the ones who are presenting you with an image that's not the reality